Edmund was sleeping, so calm, as if nothing happened the last night. I admire his power to forget things so easily. Though maybe he is hiding his true emotions. I don't know. Edmund definitely has learned to cope with everything that comes at him.

I on other hand can't forget the conversation between my husband and his mother. Every word has dug deep in my memory, impossible to erase the feeling it created in my heart - hurt and suffocating rejection by everyone.

I need so much strength just to put up with everyday encounters with various people, to get to know them and be aware of their intentions, which are not always in favor of me.

I miss those carefree months in Wiltshire's summer house, Fiona, James and everybody else I got to know over the years. Seems like I have to start everything from beginning. Finding new friends, watching out of foes and create my new life in alien world.

Sometimes I doubt myself, can I really accomplish my dreams against all odds?