in Hoboken, and it reminded me of a St. Bernard dog tied by a silken thread. It was the biggest skiff afloa

the noble craft backed into the river and turned round before heading for the Old World, and I found myself on th

der to make it clear to the reader, I will say that the room was on the "haw" side of the boat. I thought I was getting the "gee" side as the vessel lay at the dock, but I forgot that it had to turn around in order to start for Europe, and I found myself "haw." I complained to one of the officers and said tha

d to one of

and 42,000 tons displacement does not give a graphic idea of its huge proportions. A New Yorker might underst

about the ship I led him out into Main Street and told him that it would reach from the railroad to the Presbyterian church. He looked down street at the depot and then he looked up street at the distant Presbyteri

y asked me something about the ship and wanted to know how long she was. I repeated the Presbyte

e times as many people as there were in our whole town, that she had seven decks, superimposed like the layers of a jelly cake, that elevators carried passengers from one deck to another, that a daily newspaper was printed on boar

ust think of it! Elevators gliding up and down between decks the same as in a modern office building. Very few passengers used the el

e looked as if he had been scrubbed with soap and then rubbed with holystone. Every German menial on board seemed to have two guiding amb

s he waylaid them, they would forget all about the new improvement and would run up and down

sel approaches Plymouth, England, he becomes the lift attendant. At Cherbourg he is transformed into a gar?on d'as

gantly up-to-date, perhaps some information concerning it will be of interest, even to those old and hardened travellers who have been

ousand miles from shore there is no one to be called up, and if he needs the steward he pushes a button. But it is there-a real Germa

and how to keep two or three springs pressed down all the time he is talking. In America he takes down the receiver and

same as a s

ee if the thing would work, put the hair curler to his ear and began talking into the dynamo. There was no response, so he pushed a

cabularies, for one thing. In England the "hello" is never used. When an Englishman gathers up the ponderous contrivance

a trained athlete can climb into one of them. The woodwork that you embrace and rub your legs against as you struggle upward is very cold. When you fall into the clammy sheets you are only about six inches from the ceiling. In the early morning the sailors scour the deck jus

lower ones were wide and springy-they were almost beds, and a bed on board ship is

damp storm-coat and pull a baggy travelling cap down over his ears and there is none so humble as to do him reverence. One pa

who i

ly all the coke ovens in the world-has built seven theological semin

r, a Chicago real estate agent or a Kentucky horseman. He may hold himself aloof from the betting crowd and discourage those who would talk with him on deck, but he cannot by any possibility be a man of importance. Compared with the captain

iodine, may lull the adult into one continuous and lazy doze, but it is an invigorant to the offspring. We had on board children from Buffalo, Chicago, Jamestown, Poughkeepsie, Worcester, Philadelphia, and other points. These children traded names before the steamer got away from the dock, and as we went dow

German boat the passenger's first duty is to gorge. In the smoking-room the last night out there was a dispute as to the number of meals, whole or partial, served every day. One man count

and rolls in t

reakfast in th

iches and bou

p.m.-L

s and lemon

m.-D

r (cold) in

cheese, caviar, tongue, beef, cerve

food may be obtained at any hour, either in the smoking room or dining room, or by giving the order to a steward. It is said that geese being fattened for the market or encouraged to develop the liver are tied to the

e can be reached (probably) in some sort of a zig-zag manner by wireless telegraphy, no matter where he may be on the wide ocean, and so, most of the time, he is standing around on one foot waiting for bad news. On shore he doesn't fret so much about possible c

e, I wrote the following in one of my le

or news bulletins and stock quotations, or else receive them by special transmission through the water,

sage through an open window and across five hundred miles of no

the Continent and pretending to enjoy ourselves. About the time I first encountered Mr. Peasley he had an experience which, in all probability, is without parallel in h

million years, at a very conservative estimate, so he started for Brussels. He asked the proprietor of the hotel at Rotterdam for the name of a good hotel in Brussels and the proprietor told hi

e flight of time, until the train rolled into a cavernous train shed and was attacked by the usual energetic mob of porters and hotel runners. Mr. Peasley looked out and saw that they had arrived at another large city. On the other side of the platform was a large and beautiful 'bus marked "Hotel Victoria." Mr. Peasle

proprietor, who wore the frock coat and whiskers

first class for this country. If you fellows over here would put in steam heat and bathrooms and electric lights and then give us something to eat in the bargain your hot

s in good health and enjoying prosperity, and Mr. Peasley said that he, personally,

ral idea of the lay of things before he tackled a new town. He marked on the map a few of the show places which seemed worth while, and then he sallied out, waving aside the smirking guide who attempted t

He visited an old cathedral and two art galleries, reading long and scholarly comments on the more celebrated masterpieces. Some of the paintings were not properly labelled, but he knew that slipshod methods prevailed in Europe-that a civilisation which is on the downhill and about to play out cannot be expected to breed a business-like accuracy. He wrote marginal corrections in his guide book and doctored up the map

aucasian who is shy or reticent or suspicious the thing to do is to keep on talking to him until he feels quite at ease and the entente cordiale is fully established. So Mr. Peasley told the Englishman all about Iowa and said that it was "God's country." T

to Brussels," rep

heard of it before, on account of the carpet coming from here, and of course everybody knows about Brussels

e same time regarding the cheerful Peasl

unable to follow you. Whe

gium-capital, same as

re not in Brussels.

twe

tain

e paused and a horrible suspicion settled upon him. Arising from

of this town I'm

lied the aston

ned against the

he began, and then

n-law in Rotterdam," he said,

s quite

is there one in Brussels

in the whole world. The Victoria Hotel

m now in

assu

glishman. Next day he proceeded to Brussels and found that he could wo

5 he never had duplicated the remarkable experience at Antwerp. As soon as he