Crazy Over You

"Why are your grades so low?! Tang*na! Ietishya, is this even a grade?" She marched through me then threw the card for my first semester.

It was ninety-eight percent why would she complain? Why does it seem like it isn't enough?

"Your ate passed the board exam with a one hundred percent in law, kaya dapat lang na pantayan mo siya. You are useless!" I cried that day, I am excited pa naman to give her my card dahil mataas iyon but it is still not enough for her.

Ano ba ang enough sa kanya? To be perfect, a perfect daughter, a perfect friend, a perfect student, a perfect you that she wants.

My siblings had their own condo, my ate is now a CPA lawyer and my brother is a high maintenance civil engineer in New York. And I'm taking a med course once I put myself in college.

To have a perfect family wasn't easy, hindi ko kailanman iyon nagugustuhan. Akala ko no'ng una okay lang, my mom's just want my future to be good kaya I always do my best.

Dipolog National Highschool is one of the top, private schools, nakuha ko ang korona kay Yhegn-the queen because of aiming a good grade to be a scholar but that's not my point I put myself here.

I don't need the crown or the name to be famous, I just need to have a perfect grade to impress my mother. So, I literally gave back the crown and name to her. Wala naman akong pakialam doon, I was taking my semester break for the meantime.

Gusto ko lang ihinga ang utak ko tapos sasabak ulit, STEM was never been good. Never it depends to the point na para na akong sasabog, my body's still aching for it. Hindi ako kailanman nagreklamo kasi si mama 'yan, si mama 'yan.

"Why are you just swimming and having fun there when you can just study to get a perfect grade, Isha!" I closed my eyes harshly, I deepened my breathing to make everything okay.

Ayokong maging rude, ayokong magsalita because I know my mouth. I know what I can say when I'm getting angry.

"Dapat mag-aral ka at huwag kang magbubulakbol! Look at your classmates who's fan of partying and something that bad. Ayon! Nabuntis ng maaga, hindi kasi nakikinig sa nanay nila. You are a Gomez De Grazia, you should have manners and huwaran ng iba." She said, I always heard it from here and I almost memories it.

Kaya kahit semestral break ay nag-aaral pa rin ako, I don't have friends to lay on. I don't have someone whom I can rant about, I have curfew when I want to go outside, even going to the mall has a time limit.

Gano'n ang buhay ko, I was chained by it. Ni hindi nila ako hinahayaang makawala sa hawla na pinagtataguan nila sa akin.

Sawa na ako.

Pagod na ako.

I want freedom,

But who am I kidding?

Hindi ako pwedeng mapagod. Hindi ako pwedeng maging sawa, hindi ko pwedeng iwan si mama. Ako nalang ang meron siya, ako nalang, siya nalang rin ang meron ako.

"Alam mo kasi, 'yang mga Gomez De Grazia, mga walang kwenta raw ang yaman ng mga 'yan. Puro naman daw nakaw kaya nga nag law 'yong ate kasi para pagtakpan ang kaso. They were known for being the most respective family in town tapos gano'n pala." I heard that though, always, wala naman akong magawa dahil fightings not my thing.

Hindi ko na rin sinabi kay mama because I knew she is stress for everything happens in our life.

"Your papa wants a divorce, pepermahan ko nalang ang papel na 'yan. Kaya pala umalis dahil kinakalantarin ang kabet niyang wala namang grado!" She look at me while her hands was moving for a signature, pinikit ko ang mata ko.

So, they're really separating huh?

"See that? When you're not an educated kumakapit ka nalang sa patalim. Your dad is a businessman, but of course he's a wise man kaya sana alam niya kung hanggang saan lang ang kabet niya and his children will always be his priority." Napakagat ko ang aking labi, I'm listening actively to whatever my mama said.

"Kaya ikaw, magtapos ka ng pag-aaral, go get yourself spoiled and never be a mistress of someone who's idiot like your father. Maging matalino ka, choose your mind not your stupid heart." She walked out, nagtungo siya sa kanyang opisna dito sa bahay.

If anything could possibly be, even in our house, my mama will work.

"Ma, sa school lang ho ako. May dancing competition kasi kami, if I wouldn't attend it can cause my grade low." I bit my lower lip, iyon kasi ang sabi ng teacher namin, I don't even know why the hell is this part of this fvcking strand!

Hyesha is that girl who wants anything in life, ayaw niyang malamangan ng kahit na sino. I was in Dapitan but transferred in Dipolog in my second semester, halos kalbuhin niya ako nang masapawan ko siya.

I don't mind anyway, she's not my problem at all. I don't even have a time for her, I usually ignore her, hindi ko naman obligadong mag-explain sa kanya kung bakit matalino ako.

"You are really mean!" She said when I passed through her, hinila niya ako at padabog na humarap sa akin when I get myself hard.

"I don't do fight so I ignore." Alin ba do'n ang di niya makuha, akala ko ba she is matalino, why seem she's not even a grade 12 student instead a kinder one.

"Hindi lahat pwede mong ignorahin, there are fights that's how much you hated you still had to fight no matter what." Giit pa niya, I stared at her blankly, her friends Eri and Shen were there by her side.

"Ano bang pinaglalaban mo?" My lips portuded, arching my brow and leaving her there.

Ayoko ng away kaya wag niya akong subukan. I don't do physical thingy like her but I use my mouth in a bad way, she watched.

"I hated that girl! De La Chevez pala siya! Crush ko pa naman 'yong pinsan niya, ugh. I need to be at least friendly to her 'no?" Hindi ba siya nahihiyang naririnig ko siya at ang oa naman ng pagkakasabi niya.

My mom's a De La Chevez, she's the only daughter and the rest were all men. Marami ang angkan nila, sikat sila dito, they're not into politics but grandpa starting to love politics. That's not our thingy, we prepare business and trips rather than political things but life changes ,huh?

"Alam mo they're going to befriend to you kasi para mapalapit sa mga cousins mo." She approach me, I didn't say anything.

"Why are you like that? I'm being nice and friendly here." Saad niya ulit, I just look at her, looking so innocent.

"Shut the fvck up, I'm not even close to my cousins, so tell them to back off or I'll break their bones."

Hindi na niya ako kinulit, ang dali niyang tumanggap ng pagkatalo kahit ang dami ng ginawa niya para lang mapaalis ako. Because of her I was accused of cheating but that didn't end there, ang dami niyang ginawa but now she's okay with that dahil tanggap na raw niya ito.

"I easily accepted it, if it is not for me then okay. You know, for months I just realized so many things. So, can we be friends?" I get it, I asked her one time and that's her answer but I truly got her best answer.

She wants attention, she likes it, she wants to have genuine friends, we became friends, ako, si Shen, si Eri at Yhegn.

"Tarantado pala! You know, that guy I'm talking to you before Isha. Gusto ka raw no'n takot lang dahil sobrang nakakatakot ka raw." Eri pointed out, hindi naman bago 'yon, nakakatakot akong tumingin or they'll never slip their slight to me because of how I look.

Normal lang naman sa akin iyon and I don't eat or bite them, dzuh. Ano sila gold?

"Hayaan mo na, papansin lang mga 'yon, as if Isha would bite them, gold ba sila?" Hyesha once again in her maldita tone, iwan ko ba, ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya eh ang maldita naman sobra-sobra.

Sinundo na kami isa-isa, Yhegn wasn't rich unlike us. I give her a ride, at first she was hesitant pero ngayon nasanay na rin.

"You're so tahimik, why?" Nagulat siya sa tanong ko, truth is, I would just ask or talk to her when it matters.

Nag HUMSS tapos mahiyain, ewan ko sa isang 'to.

"A-ahh," She stuttered, like she was having a recite.

"No, it's okay not to answer. I'm just asking, I know we're not really that friends but you can talk or joke around with me, you know?" Akala ko kasi talagang usual na tahimik lang siya but when one time I was late dahil may inuutos pa 'yong president namin sa akin, nasa canteen sila no'n. I was in my soft- steps para hindi sila madisturb what they're doing, she was laughing loudly at them, she was joking around with them, it seems like-she was scared of me.

"I am your friend too, 'no ka ba!" I slumped her.