me, it wasn't out of affecti

her hair dripping, mascara running, carryi

to let me in or

ide, and she walked past me like she owned the sp

die and dropped onto my bed

a m

nt." She gave me a wea

he idea that I was the exception. That

She leaned her head on my shoulder. The warm

issed me, I ki

wasn't

e trying to s

ate act disgui

re like two people trying to feel anything bu

s air. Like I was the onl

in that moment, I needed t

we lay ther

chest with her nail. "Do you

now

her face aw

rled into me like a puzz

of the female hostel reading hall, F

reading. They stared past the words, past

ea. Arms around each other. Laughing like so

hing she hadn't wanted to name. It started small a smile h

pain

fessed it. Never

loud, bright, imposs

dlelight. Qui

tand a chance when people

osed t

't focus.

Chelsea was gone

te. N

rfume on my sheets, and

at the ceiling for w

ss if she sta

ter in a book I should

one b

n't Ch

as F

akfast. Wan

ment, I

I rep

here

like calm. Eggs, to

word. I could feel her studyin

red," she sa

't slee

d. "Becau

n't a

idn't

didn't demand explanations. But h

you," she said softly

oked

"But I keep hoping you'll see what she's

ard. "It's no

go of the story you told yourself about her. The one wher

le

h eyes that held too much

now what you'r

haunted

myself as the victi

cked up my pieces while I chased afte

orst

ked her ho

wn, I was afrai

've been hers if only I hadn't been so obse

exted tha

feel weird toda

he screen for

as the

l back. She'd kiss my wo

ers hovered ove

are louder

n't r

I went fo

ended up outsid

the stairs, legs fo

led not with her mout

besi

speak fo

bre

orry,"

't ask w

lread

pered, "that someone c

turned

erve," she said. "And sometimes, we don't realiz

sed m

ds didn

cle

wasn't

t

night, Chelse

, she was

traitor that