avors, but she knew how t

her presence. She could stare at you for five seconds too long, and y

ack against my hostel bed, her bare feet resting on my lap.

ond. My fingers hovered n

k I need sav

d, giving me that

do. I'm a bea

of her identity. And I dumb, wide eyed, emotional

as the

semester, I

But inside, everything felt blurry. My focus was gone. My moods s

nt silent? It f

like nothing happened, dropping onto my bed and stealin

daddy caught her texting someone else and

red for four

e clingy. I needed space. You

ould'v

liked you better when y

that, I'd sh

a single sentence. She knew how to turn your em

he strength to walk away, she'd do so

"I miss

on th

night, whispering, "I don't trust

enough to ke

to notice the

ate, was the firs

ou dey

lied, for the

jollof rice, and you still dey

. But something

he was

hought I could find it was in the arms of someo

saw

uch. Just kept s

study sessions. Leave notes on my

ting beside me under the mango tree behind Fac

ia," I

d softly, "It

fr

. She just plucked a leaf off the branch

u completely," she added

ed to

coul

helsea calle

stupid," she sa

opped. "Wha

house. The guy

roat

d he was

ut I was drunk and angry and... I don't know

ecause you told me

he whispered. "C

d have

ould

as in my room, mascara smeared,

d, and I held he

she said. "I don't want to ruin

ruining me,"

believ

before sunrise and didn't respond to

Favor stopped hidi

t love," she said after bumpin

av

e only needs the version of you

.. comp

sh. And you're l

adness. The kind that comes from watc

stunned, as s

go. My shirt was rumpled. I hadn't shaved. My eyes were sun

broken my heart-she'

scarie

et

ame th

ud music, drinks, wild energy. I went alone, needing

n on the arm of a guy I didn't kno

e. Smiled

kisse

t of ev

't an a

ted me

le

n the pavement. Tri

didn't ask questions. Just sat beside me in sil

meone and still

n't r

in me shifte

love me. I'd confused chaos for passion. Manipulation for mystery. A

patience, her quiet steadinessthat made

fa

ea

poss

night, Chel

u mad

n't r

mmedi

in months, I let he

eces of me that I'd handed to her like offerings. Every late night

for

portant in moments

motional manipula

d off m

a decla

s rev

l silence was the only

wanted to hear