rips through your insides, but the kind that whispers constantly in your observance. You're alo

woke up to a cramp that arched my entire rear off the bed. I assumed it was the familiar pain that had followed me

er had

s sho

tic rail of the bed as another compress

eled out

forehand to supp

th rent and had a list of baby pa

to my knees, heaving. My tummy was constricte

y phone and cal

on the third

I plodded to get out

I will go i

ine we

lone, on

would subside long enough to reach the sidewalk. The maternity center we had listed ourselves to enter was ov

the bottom, sweat pouring down my tabernacles. T

room, fear drawing color i

ped to her knees." We need

was Kattie's charm or sympathy, but I did not mind. I was in the back seat, crying o

was start

re!" Kattie yelled

other compression washe

like worn leather seats.

enience store. It looked more like a halfway house than a warm sanctuary for new

She's crowning!"

of antiseptic and old chuck. I could hear women crying in other apart

urses yelling orders, sweat pouring down my b

the midwife. "P

I can't!"

His heart rat

rasped my hand. "You've come th

my lungs would burst. My head felt

lso, I

the world i

lau

ngry, an

ed wastes, shaking, heaving,

oy," the mi

n my chest, and th

if he was gearing for battle, against the world that escaped u

I w

t alone

ed, once parched l

ashes flowing down her

give him," I replied. " No

Sophie. You brought him

med hi

h the distant soft murmur of babies crying. My body ached

and down, one hand wrapped beside his face as i

nk of

he knew? Would h

he would leave me with a life I never asked for, and no why.

e did not

- what i

t of my head and kissed

," I said. "Ye

charged thre

ttie had prayed for the matron to let us stay for one f

too noisy. I cradled Ethan against my chest, t

blazing in her eyes." We will

the landlord on the door. Two months' worth of

f earth, but I set Ethan in the corner amidst a huddle of bunched

came back with pulver

pend in the coming week," she

e guilt that filled my t

hing his bittsy lips nurse with despair. My gu

he demand

. The ears. The golden hair - a scarce thing for my tone, b

ien'

t his t

roper crib from a secondary store. Kattie got me a part-time cleaning

always one minute home with Ethan. We

e restroom so Ethan wouldn'

milk has dried

ght about transferring

heard the beat of his heart a

vived all this: the burial, the

s my m

thing but tempests, I promised him that

ive you