img I desire to be in your heart, notice me  /  Chapter 1 Without you  | 
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I desire to be in your heart, notice me
Muskan_Umata
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Chapter 1 Without you
5751    |    15/11/2021

Chapter 1

'Sometimes…when I wish to Identify the warmth in my heart,

It is in my tears that I feel this heat…

A heat that lingers on my cheek before drying out

This tear reminds me of my purity and the kindness within me...

of the hard work and endless effort.

it is through this tear that I have realized how life is not the same without you

and it is these tears that I have learnt to love you.'

***

I have learnt that being naive will only lead to betrayal and pain.

many tend to take advantage of someone who's still learning... who lacks the basic knowledge of what they deem as something everyone should know.

I've learnt that liers live a better life and that life is filled with everything but fairness.

This world has torn me down into ripples and changed my heart, it was this world that has taught me to hate...

I'm Elizah an indecisive tennis player... and taekwondo star during her free time.

to think that I've lost almost everything by choice. it all began, with a simple arm injury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should have been more careful, how do you expect her to start her new career with her arm like that now!" Zamin asked pushing Owais towards the hospitals' wall

"Don't you guys have better things to do than fight with each other, it's not as impressive as you guys try to make it look," I said entering my cab ignoring them.

I was already tired from all the previous juggling, by juggling I meant trying to live through two careers at once. A tennis player and taekwondo sensei. This incident is a blessing in disguise, now I have a reason to leave tennis.

I had already forfeited my black belt a month ago after injuring my opponent during the rising- senior nationals...I wasn't ready to face that side of me again.

both of the sport carried a special place in my heart, especially taekwondo. I gained many of my scholarships because of it and it was a means of communication with my father. he was a man who spoke only when he felt it was necessary.

I got dragged into tennis by my mother and sister. it's not much of a story, I just used it as a way of entering into a tertiary institution otherwise I have never cared about the sport.

I had never had the chance to live out my full potential on the court or mat since both had my split attention. Now I want nothing to do with the both of them regardless of the years and I've wasted trying to perfect them.

I switched my phone off after declining a few calls from Zamin, he had always been the overly sensitive one wanting to know what I'm doing or how I felt, Not today...today I wanted peace and silence. No whining or how are you's and most certainly none of Owais's criticism.

I arrived home rushing up to my room phoning my tennis instructor to inform him about my condition, I'll be handing in my racket soon.

mother placed my mail onto my bed after yell

ing out a few articles on how to eat, sleep and shower with a cast on, she also normalised my resignation and placed a few job articles on my bed. After an hour of the torturous lecture I picked through the mail... and finally, it came!

My acceptance letter into South Africa's number 1 kickboxing academy, for once something I wanted to do,

I smelt the letter over and over again, it smelt like success, like direction!

I could hardly believe that it was happening to me. I can finally go out there with no burden- not that I didn't enjoy those sports at some point in my life, I guess I got bored.

I do plan on doing my absolute best, there was a slight problem though...my training starts tomorrow. Although it was okay to only do leg training since I applied for a double programme my progress might get hampered with.

Zamins sister was the head sensei, and Owais was her assistant. It was my turn to rely upon and annoy him for once. The clingy martial art friend I made a few years back along with his crush, or whatever he calls her.

Even if for the past few months I have received criticism from the martial arts world as well as losing the majority of the respect I earned over the years…he still supported and respected me.

A fresh start is what I've been craving for years, even if it was without their approval.

The one thing that always cheered me up though was a good meal with the people I love...

fried, dipped, dunked…and even the greens people hate any type of halal food!

All of those tasted even better with a smiling person in front of you. Food is also the reason many let their guards down.

" I heard you got the letter," he said taking his shoes off before rushing inside with bags of groceries

"my mother made you run her errands again?"

"We basically live here so it's the least I could do…are you sure you down for training with your arm like that."

"I should be asking you that," I said annoyed, " just do whatever my mother called you over for, I have to meet Zamin later."

"poor Zamin has to deal with you today of all days…the abuse…"

I stuck my tongue out at him before I left. He was correct, they basically lived with me…eating with me all the time, shopping with me, practising with me. I should get new friends.

After my check-up at the doctor with Zamin, we went over to the tennis board to hand in my racket formally…for that moment I felt overwhelmed by having to start from scratch.

to do things all over again, I even doubted myself a few times, many believed that I was throwing away a bright future. I do admit that the pay was good, but for once I wanted to take risks and just do my own thing. After doing this difficult task I rushed home to have a warm meal with my parents…the warmth from the soup as well as the tenderness from the meat made all my worries slip away, a happy tummy leads to a happy mind.

            
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