Stupidly In Love With You

I stare at the traffic in front of me. I had been on this road for the past 30 minutes, and no car is moving. We are stuck here.

"Oh, how I wish I had superpowers so I could fly away," I sigh.

"Not happening, Chloe. At least not in this life," I thought to myself.

My phone rang.

'Sexy ass bitch', I chuckle at the name she used to save her number on my phone. Immediately after I picked up, I was met with her screaming.

"Where the hell are you?!" she screamed, my ears ringing for a moment.

"Oh, you know the usual. I'm getting my cock sucked," I blurted.

"You don't even have one," she said.

"What picture did I WhatsApp you 5 minutes ago, Emma? I'm stuck in this goddamn traffic for 30 minutes!" I had this sudden urge to lie down on the road and let someone ride over me.

"You are so getting fired today. Ethan's been shouting for over an hour asking where the hell you are. I told him, and he said, 'you should come up with a better excuse,' as if he doesn't know the traffic in New York. Donkey ass bitch."

Ethan, our manager, always in a bad mood. Ever since he joined this company, his mood has been horrible.

I believe someone had him at gunpoint to take this job.

Not a single smile on his face, ever. He's 35 and married, don't know if it's a happy one, because if it was, he'd be doing cartwheels in here.

Only one daughter. I've heard she's really cute... but also really annoying.

I would hit my head on the steering wheel if the cars don't start moving.

"I'll be there soon, just distract him, please." I check my wristwatch, and panic floods me. I was really late.

"I'd flash him when he comes near me," she says in a boring tone.

I frown at my phone, wishing she could see my face. She really is a friend who would die for you.

I tap my fingers on the steering wheel, tapping my foot eagerly as I turn my head to the left.

A man in his 60s was in a white, ancient car beside me. I was shocked when I saw he was already looking.

Creep.

He had a goofy smile on his face as he tried to whistle at me but failed, he just blew air out of his mouth.

I bit my lip so hard, trying not to laugh.

I looked at him. What was that old man tryna do?

Still goofily smiling at me.

I awkwardly smiled back.

"You look like someone I've seen before," he said loudly so I could hear.

I tilted my head to the side, grinning. "Really? Like who?"

"Mike Wazowski."

A smile still on my lips as I frowned, trying to remember if that was any celebrity. But why would he compare me to a male?

When realization hit me, I gasped loudly.

The one from Monsters Inc?! How could I not figure it out?

He grinned at me and blinked. "You agree too, right?"

Soon, the cars started moving. I stuck my head out and shouted, "You old bitch!" and sped a little so my car could be near his.

"Oi! May you fall on your wrinkly ass when you walk down the stairs!" I huffed, giving him a last glare.

I rolled up my windows, now wearing my sunglasses and putting on some music.

"You bring good to my lonely life;

Honestly,

It's hard for me to look into your eyes;

When I say,

That I would be nothing without your love."

I sing the lyrics out loudly.

I am in love with Abel Tesfaye a.k.a. The Weeknd.

I could jump off a cliff happily if he asked me to.

I hate those fake XO fans that have only listened to 'Die for You' or 'Creepin'.

I mean, I want to choke the life out of them.

Playing his OG gold songs all the way, I park my car, turn the engine off, and then look into the rearview mirror. Taking my purse, I pull out my cotton candy lip balm and dab it on my lips, quickly fixing my hair before getting out of the car.

I get inside the tall building and stop at the reception, greeting Ava. She gives me a smile, nodding.

"Hey, Nuts," I hear a voice and turn to my left, seeing Josh.

He smiles and winks.

"Hi, Mr. Crabby Pants."

He shakes his head. "You'll not stop calling me that now, will you?"

I click my tongue. "Never. And hey! You also call me Nuts."

He laughs. "Well, that's my favorite. I can never forget that day," and then he starts laughing his ass off, holding his stomach as he laughs loudly.

I give him a bored look.

As Josh continues to laugh uproariously, I can't help but roll my eyes and playfully punch his arm. "Alright, alright, enough with the laughter or else you're gonna poop your pants," I say, trying to stifle a smile.

Ava watches our playful banter with amusement. "Hey, why's Josh laughing so much? Tell me about your weird nicknames too," she chimes in, grinning.

I glance at Josh, who has finally managed to catch his breath. "Well, Ava, it all started at Josh's epic party a few years back," I begin.

"He decided to throw a party, and a normal party? Nuh uh. He threw this theme party of 'Under the Sea'. We're talking inflatable palm trees, colorful fish decorations... and Josh dressed as a crustacean, complete with pincers and all!"

Her eyes widen in disbelief as she tries to imagine it, while Josh's cheeks turn pink.

"He dressed as a complete crab. The best part was when he tried to impress us with his signature moves. He started doing bizarre crab-like dancing, complete with sideways shuffling. I, on the other hand, was laughing so hard I think I even peed myself a little," I chuckle.

Josh cuts me off. "Hey now! I thought I was killing it on the dance floor."

I laugh at his attempt to defend himself.

"Now, now, about her, I had this cake with a top layer full of nuts. I decided we could cut a cake, just for fun," he rolls his eyes. "Well, Miss Nuts convinced me she wanted to cut the cake because her birthday was far away, so I let her do it. And then, " he bites his lip, trying not to laugh, "I pushed her head into the cake. When she stood back up, her face was filled with nuts, some in her nose as well. God, that was too funny. I couldn't sleep, it haunted me."

Ava starts laughing, looking at me and punching my arm playfully.

Well, not playfully, I was about to fall to the ground from that hard punch.

Man, she goes to the gym.

Thankfully, I stumbled back but saved myself from falling.

"Such a lovely story of Mr. Peter and Miss Bennet. Aww, I ship!" I turn around at the voice, real fast.

My heart thudded in my chest as my eyes widened. Right in front of us was Ethan, our manager.

He had this fake smile on his face as he looked between me and Josh.

"What should the ship name be then?" He tapped his finger on his mouth, thinking.

I turned my head toward Josh, scared, signaling a death sign. He nodded.

"Oh! Uh... how about Chosh or Closh? Such a good name, right?" he squealed like a kid, clapping his hands.

Oh boy. He was good at acting. I think he skipped his mental pills today.

Then he crossed his arms over his chest, and his smile fell.

Shit.

He glared at me and Josh. "You two better be in my office."

I nodded slowly.

"Now!" He turned on his heel, walking back.

Okay, I gotta say,Ethan's butt was big. Real big. I think even bigger than his wife's.

He looked like Donald Duck, no offense, as he walked away.

"You really checking out his ass?" Josh said, cocking his head.

I made a disgusted face. How the hell did he think I was checking out Ethan's ass?

"Eww, Josh."

It was confirmed, we were getting fired. Then we could both sit on the luxurious streets of New York with a bowl.