were her things waiting to be packed for the move that I was forced to make. - One more dose, please. - I raised the glass to the waiter, who soon brought me another tequila. I would spend my last few cents getting drunk and drinking quality alcohol. If I was going to be broke, I would be a drunk bankrupt with [1] class. Then I would only have the Corotes left. It had been a shit day, I spent all of it looking for resources to get back on my feet, but the banks were vulture sons of bitches and they really wanted to see me fucked.
They took my last pennies, as did the government, the renter of the apartment I rented near the hospital, that expensive bar and the business world. I even had to sell my house and move closer to where my mother was treated. When I made the wrong negotiations and choices, I didn't even think about what I was deciding, I just followed and always smiled, so that she didn't feel like a nuisance. I sighed looking at the glass and repeated to myself that if necessary I would do it all over again. However, the bill arrived. The day looked grey, the whole week was like that, as if I was also sad and cried over the departure of the most amazing woman I've ever met. As much as it hurt, as if one of my limbs was being ripped off, I couldn't even cry calmly, because I had so much to worry about. The rent was late and at any moment the renter would show up to get me out. He had only given me until my mother's departure due date and after that, he informed me that I would have one month to vacate her apartment. I owed so much that every breath I took, it was as if I heard the sound of a cash register and coins falling. I asked for another dose, but then I shook it off at the guy, because I remembered that I needed to buy something to eat. I opened my wallet and analyzed my two hundred solitary reais. It was what I would have to spend the rest of the month. What was I doing there in that bar? How irresponsible! I closed my wallet feeling like a failure and with a fake smile I faced the charming waiter who approached. I didn't know if it was really beautiful or if it was the alcohol taking effect. - Hard day? - Difficult year. - I smiled and saw little stars in my peripheral vision. - What is your name? "Penelope," I lied. - Like the drawing? - A little more charming. - What a ridiculous answer, mine and his question even more so. - Your? - Leo. - Nice to meet you, Leo. - I raised the empty glass and he laughed, then went to the bottle of tequila and poured me a shot. - That's on the house. - Thanks. One day I'll buy you a drink too. He laughed and his smile was beautiful through his stubble. - Give me your phone number and then we can work it out. - Of course - I replied smiling, but my smile closed. I almost forgot that I no longer had money to buy myself a drink, or even for no-strings-attached sex with a stranger. I wouldn't even have enough for car fuel. - Some problem? - Give me your number and I'll call you. I recently changed mine and I don't remember. He nodded with a smile as if he knew I was lying. He wrote down his number on a napkin and handed it to me. - I am going to wait. - I'll call. - I wasn't going to, but I kept your number in my bag. - Well, now I have to go. - I got up and was going to get my order to pay, but the friendly waiter took it first. - Since next time you will pay. Leave this one up to me. Before I would never admit this, but I really found myself in need. I smiled, awkwardly, and he returned it with a look full of ulterior motives that made me want to give it to him. Again I thought that if it were first of all I would give it. I was a modern woman, full of attitude and free, but at that moment I needed to preserve myself. I took another look at the boy and he had strong arms wrapped around his black shirt, which I thought about licking. I shook my head slightly, to stop thinking what I shouldn't. - All good. Thank you and... See you later, Léo. I nodded and turned to leave, feeling horny and thinking that the alcohol was making me feel that way, but I already had enough problems to deal with and I didn't need one more. It was irresponsible to drive drunk, but it was what I had and I wasn't that drunk. It wasn't long until I got home and I decided that I needed to sort my life out. I tied my hair into a ponytail and started packing things, thinking about places I would take them. I hadn't been able to organize a new home while taking care of my mother and without having anywhere to store her things, it seemed sensible to donate everything. It would be something she would want me to do. I took out a box of memories from under a pile of clothes and when I opened it I sighed when I saw a photo of her, young and smiling in what looked like a rural area. She was beautiful and all I could think was that I would miss that smile. I wiped away the tears that blurred my vision and took a deep breath. In the same box I found other images that showed they had been taken in the same green place. In one of them my mother met the man she once said was my godfather, but I had never seen them so intimately. He was handsome, his hand was resting on her waist and they were both looking at each other. When I turned the photo over, I noticed that they had recorded the year and below a message said: "Whenever you need, look for me. I will always be here for you" I never gave much thought to the idea of having a godfather, because I hadn't even seen the man once, I just knew that he had been a good friend of my mother. I immediately found myself wondering if the couple in the photo were in a relationship. She always said no, that she got married early and only had my father, who died when I was ten. However, when reading some letters that I found among the memories, I suspected that they did indeed have a love affair. After analyzing one by one, I noticed that there were only correspondences from him to her and the tone that the godfather used was that of someone who carried strong feelings, but between the lines. When I read everything, I discovered that my mother hid the truth from me, that in the