In addition, despite being exhausted, I was unable to go to sleep. It was the final day of classes and also decision day.
I was giddy with excitement and trepidation. It became so awful that I almost didn't remember to kiss Felix and Dorothy on the cheek as I left before moving toward the school path.
I followed a larger group of kids who were making their way to the school while I strolled by myself. In situations like these, it is always preferable to remain unseen. Especially if Beatrice or other girls were nearby.
She was joking with the girls around her as she walked in front of me today. Girls that were formerly close pals of mine
However, that was before anything else. Before Jonathan had been exiled and before I was made Mr. Gaius's priority.
I anticipated that it would start with mocking and bullying motivated by jealousy. But after learning about Jonathan's actions, she was able to fully isolate me from their sisterhood.
But the mocking had begun long before then, when we were all still carefree kids. She had persuaded everyone to start referring to me as Grams in first grade. Before I learned that it stood for grams of fat, I didn't mind it. I sobbed for days and didn't want to attend school because my peers had adopted the moniker.
Being the cruel sixth grader he was, Jonathan also gathered a pail of horse dung that had been lying around for days. During break, as we were all playing on the field, he did something horrific.
We all gasped in horror as the feces splashed all over Beatrice's face and into her mouth as he flung the bucket at her, but he didn't stop there. In front of the entire school, he went on to label her a waste face.
I questioned why he would act in such a harsh way, but all he could say was that I could now go to school without being called Grams of Fat because everyone was too busy calling her a waste face.
And once Jonathan left, Beatrice's condition only worsened. However, I assumed she would now have a reason to despise me.
After all, Jonathan was tasked with finding her sister. She was made fun of because she was unable to perform her task after he ran away. She was ignored as the other recent graduates focused on starting families for the Outpost's future.
She broke my heart, but that was almost five years ago. She had no need to harbor resentment toward me. I'm innocent of it all.
My best friend warned me not to pay attention to her, so I attempted to ignore her, claiming that she is merely envious of Mr. Gaius' attention to me. But I still find it annoying.
In this situation, I was powerless. She shouldn't hold it against me for the decisions made by others, as I never asked for his love and attention.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of shoes scuffing against the dirt path. I cast a glance to my left and see Nora's petite body step into place next to me. She gives me a modest, knowing smile that grows into a big grin when she sees mine as we exchange a private glance.
Are you anticipating the last day of classes? I jeer.
A few classmates look at my closet buddy as she snorts loudly and rolls her eyes. "Yes," she replied, if by last day of school you mean the day Mr. Gaius informs us of which colleges he has approved us for.
Although Nora was one of my favorite people, she usually struggled to control her tone, and at this moment, her shrill voice had caused the students nearby to glare at us.
I mutter an apology while trying to hide the flush that has come over me at the thought of all the unwanted criticism. They were all thinking about things I knew.
The Outpost students rarely had the opportunity to continue their education through the 12th grade.
Even though we were all obligated to apply, Mr. Gaius had only ever chosen a small number of students to continue their education and enroll in college, while the rest stayed behind and carried out their responsibilities in the neighborhood.
However, he had admitted three students this year. I was one of them, along with Nora. The third was Antonia, who was given to me as my partner by Mr. Gaius.
Do you believe you were admitted to your top choices? Nora queries.
I anxiously nibble at my lower lip. If I didn't get accepted into one of the colleges in New York City, I don't know what I would do. I had to travel to New York City. "I certainly hope so."
Nora smiles and gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze. I am aware of how arduously you have prayed and worked. Mr. Gaius will notice this and admit you to Columbia or New York University. Do not fret.
Hopefully she's right, because this has been the plan ever since I can remember.
I had made sure to submit college applications to institutions in New York City because Jonathan had moved there and I wanted to be reunited with him.
Naturally, only Nora understood the real reason I wanted a college in New York City.
Keeping secrets from Mr. Gaius in particular was a sin and I understood that. But this was the only thing Jonathan had compelled me to do.
Please refrain from telling Mr. Gaius anything! Nora said.
Additionally, the knowledge that I was in contact with an exiled member would only enrage Mr. Gaius. Not to mention the penalties I would face if he discovered it. They were never enjoyable.
I wasn't hurting anyone either way.
As we get closer to the school, I push the thoughts away and look over at Nora. Remember that after school we will meet with Mr. Gaius to discuss the findings. Avoid being late. Knowing Nora has a propensity for forgetfulness and tardiness, I chastise her.
All she does is wave me away. "Yes, yes. I took a deep breath as she calls over her shoulder and walks into the building.