My Girlfriend Is A Nutcase!

Matt POV….

It is a lovely day today and Happy thirty third birthday to me. I cannot believe I am single in my thirties. It is normal for me because I did not find ‘the one’ for myself. I have slept with multiple women and that is how my life has been. This also gave me an opportunity to explore my kinks at large and in fact, I met a few with the same kinks as me. They are still my friends and I do meet them for some action once in a blue moon. However, I cannot stay around the same woman for a long time and may be sleep for the third time which would be my last time. I will eventually ghost her and move to next available woman to have some great sexual adventure with me.

If you ask me if I have been looking for the one? That is a question and a debate at the same time. I have met so many girls and girls are always after me. They like the way I perform on the bed and I am handsome of course.

The longest time I have ever dated was a girl from the neighboring city. I dated her for six long months and then came the COVID-19 pandemic which led to her shifting back to her parents’ place. After she left, I stopped having conversation with her. She was gone, and then she was replaced. Above all, once she was back to her parents’ house, she called me up after a few months.

She told me she missed me and asked me to marry her. I was startled. I did not date her to marry her. It was always so casual for me and she was not my type. I only needed her body and plus, I lost my job during the same time, she was a good financial support. She was a doctor by the way.

She even left me a love letter before she left for her city, and I found it later when she told me to check the drawer in her room. Well, I still have it even though it’s been two years. It’s good to have memories and one girl gifted me an expensive lip gloss. It has expired but I still preserved it in the drawer. It is good to keep some girly memories and I remember them. I won’t forget any woman I have been for some reason.

I am sitting here in the therapy room and yes, I have been so inclined to a sex life, I have become an emotionless person. Nobody believes me but yes, I find it hard to connect.

There was this girl in school whom I loved but she was in love with my best friend. I could never tell her about my feelings and somewhere, the way I learnt to suppress my emotions ever since then, it became permanent.

I am not ready to be in a relationship but at the same time, I feel a relationship will help me solve my lack of emotion issue. If someday, I find ‘the one’, I am afraid I may not be able to express and I would lose her. Could that happen?

Something in me is happy with a sex life is what I told my therapist but something in me still needs someone permanent. Maybe my heart or the emotions are waiting to be expressed only in front of ‘the one’. I don’t understand this double-minded thoughts and it leaves my therapist confused. Today, is the last day that I would be coming to the therapist.

Therapy is of no use to me. I have been telling her the same issue about me since past few months. She listens but could not change my mind at all. I could never be expressive but I could only talk using my brain. I really need to get into a relationship with someone but it is so hard to find the right woman.

The girls whom I have slept with had very different issues. None of them were my type. I don’t know any woman who is of my type and the ones I spend nights with, lack immense quality. I am looking for someone beautiful, cute, and smart. Someone who would match my vibes.

I am not sure if any day I will meet someone like her. I have been meeting women over dates for quiet some time now. I would just go meet my friends, play a few matches of badminton with them, and then halt at some woman’s house for the night for some action. This is how my days go and yes, I have a job too which I freelance. With this I can manage my finance, have many women to have fun with and I have parents whom I hate.

My mother is greedy, and she would always demand several things. I have a limited salary but if possible, she won’t mind asking me for a BMW which I don’t think I can ever afford in this life. However, I aspire to move overseas and become rich one day. I am from a middle-class family, and this is about my life in this story.

I don’t like my family as they are super traditional, and I wanted to grow personally as well as professionally. Hence, I left my family years ago and I am at peace in a city away from my parents. My sex life is super active, and I crave for it almost every day. This may not be healthy, and my future wife may find it difficult to cope with the demands of my body. I am not sure how things go around in life.

I expressed my gratefulness for one last time to the therapist for hearing me out and it was not much of a use to me. I have slept with this therapist as well but only once as I did not find her so hygienic. Learning from her friends, I heard that she would bathe only a few times in a single month. This is gross and I would not like to stay around her anymore.

Time has passed since I have been looking for a good woman. All the girls I have been around were gold diggers and I am not a rich lad. The only reason they would stick around is because of the sex experience that I give them which their men could not satisfy.

Yes, there are some married women too who contact me for the same and they are friends with me for such benefits. In return, I get some great dine out experience in most of the expensive restaurants that I feel I cannot afford as of now.

Well, if you ask me, I do not really know what I want to do next in life. I don’t have a goal in life, and I really need to work on myself. However, I do not know how to start and what to start. Maybe eventually, I will figure out but I feel I really need to have someone in life to tell me what to do. I earn and spend, I don’t have anyone to spend on except for the dates and demanding parents.

They would call me only for money and when I complain that I am broke, they would abuse me and blackmail me about motherhood. This is not fair. They did not take care of me much and in fact, I feel they only need me for money.

This is so toxic!

Anyways, to introduce myself to the readers here, I am Matt Joseph. A graduate and a professional photographer. This story is about my life and my quest to find the right woman with whom I can settle down. I am doubtful I will find one, let’s hope!