Lascivia

STELLA

It was already dawn. I felt the sun hitting my face hard, disturbing my sleep.

I didn't sleep so well all night though. Since my father's death, it's impossible for me to sleep well. The bed lost its comfort, now they are pure springs that dig into my back, my ribs, making me not sleep perfectly.

But I have learned to deal with it.

Before opening my eyes, I stretch. The bones of my body respond and I yawn. I'm still sleepy. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand, and I open them, getting a big shock.

"Fuck!" I yell. My heart starts beating like crazy. I close my eyes again, rub them again, and open them again. No no no. Look, we don't have money, you won't find anything here, I...

The man, who is sitting in an uncomfortable little chair, laughs.

I feel pale, weak, scared.

What is happening? Is it a dream? If not, how did she get into my house?

"You have a very dirty mouth to believe in God," he mutters, and hearing his voice sends a chill through me.

It sounded real. Her raspy, hard and thick voice sounded throughout the entire room of my room.

"Wh-how do you say?"

That man gets up. He scares me even more and I sit slammed on the bed backing up until I hit my back against the top of the bed.

This can not be happening! Will he rape me?

"Where is my family?" What have you done with her? What do you want? God, this can't be happening, no...

I hear the man laugh as I put my hands together and begin to pray internally, asking for help, asking that my family be...

-Do not do that. Not with me here-I open my eyes. She has her arms crossed and looks at me expectantly, annoyed.

-That...?

"Pray." I saw him swallow and raise an eyebrow.

I am not understanding anything.

Why is it still there?

What does he want?

"Stella, do you remember what you ordered last night?" And whom?

I frown.

Taking some courage, I get out of my bed and take more distance. The man moves to the left, which is where the door to my room is. I swallow thickly when he has realized my intentions.

"Don't even try, Stella.

-Who are you? What are you doing here?! Reply! Where are my mother and my brothers?" she yelled at him, tears in my eyes.

His face turns red.

"I just asked you a question, Stella.

-You've broken into my house, my room, my privacy, our privacy, and you're incapable of telling me who the hell you are and what you're doing here?!

The man smirks, in an evil, frivolous way that scares me.

"You have guts, and I like that" is the only thing he says and makes me lose my fear, patience and fear. My name is Constantine.

I frown.

"Constantine?"

-Yeah.

My mouth goes dry.

"And what are you doing here, Constantine?" How come...you know my name?" I keep asking.

The man named Constantine laughs.

"I asked you something a while ago, Stella, you didn't answer," he says again and I swallow.

My heart is beating faster and faster.

I look at his face. I look at every detail. Her blue eyes, her perfect nose, her thick eyebrows, her straight and well-groomed hair, her beard, how clean she is and how good she smells... even, the branded suit she was wearing.

Where had it come from?

"Stella," he calls me again and I fix my attention directly to his eyes, which seem to sparkle with stress. Reply.

"I... w-what did you say?"

"Do you remember anything from last night?" What did you ask for?

I remember.

Before sleeping I did not pray to God.

Before going to sleep, I did not implore God for a miracle, I did not ask Him for help.

"No...impossible" I walk further back, hitting the wall.

"Stella!" I hear my little brother Owen call me and something inside me eases. They're fine, they're fine-, Stella, breakfast!

Constantine watches me, waiting for me to say something.

"I...I'm coming, Owen, give me a moment!" I yell back. I remain silent, my breathing agitated and my heart racing, fear taking over me again.

"I won't hurt you, Stella," he promises and I frown.

"How can I be so sure of that?" You're...you're a demon, God, it can't...it can't be happening," she murmured nervously.

Constantine rolls his eyes.

"Stop naming him, Stella, please," he asks and after swallowing, I nod.

"What do you want, Constantin?"

He smiles again in that way that scares me.

-I love you.

-Me?

"You offered two things last night, and I listened. I love you. I'll give you money, comfort, stability, happiness, if you give me what I want," he explains seriously. Like a businessman.

I don't know what to say, I...

"I'll be back tonight, Stella," he interrupts me. If you agree, I won't force you to do it with me right away. I will give you your time, you will know me. I'm not going to hurt you.

"You're... you're a demon."

"I won't hurt you," he reiterates.

I shake my head.

"Where will you get the money?" I ask him.

This time, if he smiles in a normal way.

"I have a life outside of Averno, Stella. I have work, money, comfort. I have qualities, I don't live locked down there, I have privileges-and with that, it disappears.

I fall to my knees to the ground, shocked.

I am in a state of shock.

I feel... in a dream?

But it seemed real. Her voice felt real, the fear she transmitted, her truth... I have it soaked into my bones. They exist, yes. I believed it, yes.

But knowing it, seeing how real it is, trauma. It is shocking.

No...

I have no other words to describe what I feel right now. Have I found a solution to my family? maybe.

But, I would be selling myself...

All for a good reason, right?

I was tired of listening to my mom complain and cry at night.

I was tired of not seeing my brothers happy.

I was tired of pity.

My miracle?

Constantine.

***

When I finished cleaning myself, I hurried downstairs to the kitchen. My stomach was screaming for even one bite of food. Upon arrival, I observed my mother in the living room watching the news and knitting.

"Good morning mom" I greeted her with a kiss on her hair.

"Good morning honey," he returns, "who were you talking to?"

He asks when I turn around and stop dead.

Damn, did you hear us?

-With nobody mom, I was practicing my part in the play, but not quite. Yes, I have to practice for a play.

-So early? I swore I heard a man's voice, Stella-she sounds convinced. But I say no more and go to the kitchen.

I get myself with Owen and Mary playing Ludo.

-Good morning my little ones-I give each one a kiss-, how did you sleep?

Mary made a face.

"Not so good, not so bad," says Mary.

"I eat a baby," Owen mutters, then groans in defeat as Mary beats him, "hey Stell, you got a mail, it's by the door."

I frown, puzzled.

-A mail?

-Yep-emphasizes p .

I shrug one shoulder and turn around. I open the microwave to find half of a lukewarm sandwich. Well, that's what it is today.

Perhaps our breakfasts, lunches and dinners are no longer like this.

maybe...

Because I'm still not sure.

I take the sandwich and eat it little by little. It's turkey, and it's delicious. Mary and Owen are still playing and I leave the kitchen to go to the door and get the mail.

It's rare that I get an email, it could be from the University, but it's too soon for the grades to be delivered to me. I swallow the last piece of sandwich and pick up the envelope that is on the floor, to one side.

To: Stella Moritz

From: c.

-C? Who the fuck is C?

"Stella, that mouth!" my mother scolds me.

-I'm sorry!

My next course is to run up to my room. I throw myself into the uncomfortable chair that demon was in and I feel a chill run through me.

"Okay, let's see."

I took a pair of scissors and cut the envelope. What was inside, he left me speechless.

There was money. It seemed like a lot.

Was...

It was impossible to believe.

"C for Constantine," I said to myself.

I took the money out of the envelope, and began to count them. They were large bills, one hundred. And in total, there were a thousand dollars.

-What is this? What does it mean? I kept talking to myself.

I left the money on the table in front of me.

-I wouldn't lose anything by accepting, I would have a good future ahead of me, my mother would be fine with her anxiety, my brothers would also have a good future...

"And you would be full of happiness, wouldn't you?"

-Ah, damn!-I scream to heaven when I see and hear him again-, could you not appear like that out of nowhere? Please," I asked, still scared.

"Stella, are you okay?!" I hear my mother yell and I look at Constantine angrily now.

"Yes mom, it's just a cockroach!"

I'm not hearing anything from you now.

-What do you want? You said you'd come by at night-I blurted out, crossing my arms.

Constantine shrugged his shoulders.

"I was watching and listening to you. I only said what is true.

I swallow. Was he watching and listening?

"What did you show up for?" Why that money?

"It's a gift, Stella. You should go out now to buy food, don't you want?

I swallow again. My heart is sinking a bit because it has hit what I love the most.

"Constantine..."

"Buy food, bath soap, whatever you want, it's a gift, even if you don't accept it, it's a gift," he tells me and I see him scratch his chin. His blue eyes are attractive and very bright, although if you stare at them for a while, they start to scare you.

-I accept. But under my conditions-I release safely.

Constantine crossed his arms and crooked a smile that seemed to agree.

-Under your own conditions they will be, Stella-he accepts and I can release the breath I was holding. Now... I'll give you this.

He walks over to me and pulls a wallet out of his back pocket.

-You can do what you want and spend what you want-she hands me three credit cards that, it seems to me, are unlimited-, they are, Stella.

I open my mouth, surprised.

"It's a lot of Constantine, I'm not going to accept that much, it's not like I'm a lot," she laughed nervously and looked away.

"You're a lot, Stella," he snaps and I return my gaze to him. I don't understand why, but my cheeks are flushed. Constantine looks shocked and clears his throat, "they're yours now.

He takes my arm and then my hand, leaving the cards there.

-I only want something monthly, no...

"Don't reject it Stella, don't do it, I'm giving it to you and that's it, okay?" Don't worry," she keeps saying but I refuse.

"It's a lot of money!" I whisper in a gasp that I choke back.

Constantine rolls his eyes.

-And? I have more, seriously, Stella, leave it at that, I'll go.

"They consist...!"

And it disappears, leaving a black smoke in the place where it was. A few seconds later, Owen jerks my bedroom door open.

"Who were you talking to, little sister?"

I frown and try to hide it with a confused smile.

"No one, silly," I say, but he doesn't seem to believe me, "I was rehearsing." Hey Owen, do you want to come with me to the mall?

His eyes light up.

"Will you buy me something delicious?"

-I'll buy you something super delicious!-I exclaim happily and approach my brother to give him a hug followed by a kiss-, something very delicious.

He ran to his room to change and I did the same. Although, I only got a gray sweater and clean black shorts.

I took the cash and put it in my back pocket.

"Stell, I'm ready!" he yells from the ground floor.

Before leaving my room, I let out a loud sigh.

"Thank you very much, Constantine." I spoke loud enough, perhaps, for him to hear me.

If it did.