Triple Divorce

"I believe I had a related issue just like yours Ms. Amira. I wanna know why you walked away from your engagement party mid-last year and some of the experience you have when it comes to marriage and divorce?" Olivia asks abruptly and her face soars.

I was stunned but not as stunned as you may think because everyone knows my stories. The damage that lead to my three divorced.

Separation in marriage is never a sweet thing, but sometimes, there is a need to let it happen so you can enjoy a fresh one.

I look at Olivia and she tugged her sweaty hands waiting to hear what am gonna say. I sighed hastily and she smiled at me.

"Walking away from my engagement meant exchanging the delights of a bride for the embarrassment of a deserter. I was going solo at a friend’s wedding, a year after I broke up with my fiancé. I'm always a bridesmaid after walking away from my engagement party mid-last year. I have been a bridesmaid on 3 different occasions.

"I give in to people's wrong impressions, which lead to my divorces because people tend to exhibit what they call a progression bias an irresistible inclination to push forward with a romantic relationship, regardless of red flags, abusive, cheating, or doubts." I said, and Olivia was smiling instead of smirking.

"I hope people understand other people's choices when it comes to marriage. Just like us. Because I never attended my engagement party. I love my fiance and believe he is the one God has bestowed on me, but he goes against my choice." Olivia said.

"Whatever is the reason that makes you not to attend your proposal occasion. Whatever the reason, belief, is the best, and don't leave a life of regret. If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present" I said.

"Am happy to hear that." Olivia affirm.

"You welcome." I retorted without wasting time.

"I was terrified by the thought of a public proposal, I refused to attend my engagement party after learning my boyfriend had planned one for me, despite knowing I would hate it." She said.

"Oh," I uttered without mumbling a word.

"The proposal did not go as planned. As our relationships grow more serious, as the year goes by. We often plan our futures together. We discussed everything from our wedding plans to how the proposal should go.

"But I ended up getting the surprise of my life when I learned my partner was planning to pop the question in public, despite knowing I would hate it, and he did accept never to surprise me with a public proposal. Because I won't be able to face such a proposal. Am a shy type and I skipped the event.

"The shocking tale came to light when I called my parents explaining why I skipped my boyfriend, leaving him in the restaurant surrounded by their family and friends. He had hoped to surprise me in the restaurant.

"And people have been left stunned by my decision not to have a public proposal.

"That's why I'm here to know why you walked out of your engagement party 11 months ago without going back, but got married 3 months later and got divorced 3 months after?

"Cause my fiance asked me to tender a public apology on my Facebook before he could accept my decision and proceed with the engagement." She concluded while looking at me meaningfully.

I sigh, but I wasn't too surprised because I have had terrific experiences with my ex.

I shook my head calmly not knowing where to start. It's a tough decision walking out of my engagement party. I gat a lot on my head, which I'd love to share with her.

Olivia is young and desperate to get married, but she's afraid of divorce. She feels her choices won't be accepted by her fiance which may lead to divorce after marriage. Then she skipped her engagement party just like me.

"I believe we have some similarities, but I wouldn't want you to go through my experiences. And before I convey little of my misfortune, I'd like to know what happened before and after you skipped your proposal?" I asked.

Olivia sigh hurriedly and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She was skeptical after declining her engagement party.

"We've been talking about marriage, rings for a while. I didn't know the when or where, but I thought I knew the how.

"This is because I've made it clear that I would absolutely hate a public proposal. The very idea gives me hives and makes me queasy with anxiety, never want a public proposal.

"So far, so good. When my birthday celebrations rolled around, I figured out something was up. We were meant to meet at the restaurant, but my dad called before I left, asking if our big announcement tonight was baby-related and if so he'd like to congratulate me in advance in case he didn't make it due to a travel delay.

"A few minutes into the call, I put two and two together, and immediately I called my best friend Charlotte, who reluctantly confirmed my fears. And things quickly went from bad to worse. I became traumatized when I called my boyfriend.

"Baby, it is true what am hearing? But I told you I don't want a public engagement. Why do this to me?" I off

"Yea baby, I just wanna surprised you." He said.

"And he couldn’t deny it, and after he told me he'd reserved the entire restaurant for 85 people. I was stunned, and I felt betrayed, I told him that this wasn't what I wanted and that I'd be happy to attend, but only if he promised not to do it in front of everyone there.

"He said he'd told some people, and that words got around and they were now expecting a grand gesture proposal, so he was going to do it, otherwise he wouldn't have wasted everyone's time and money coordinating and getting them down there.

"I said that if he insisted on doing this in a way which made me uncomfortable, I wouldn't be coming at all. But he thought I was joking, I then hung up and stopped answering the phone. He called to the extent of switching off my phone.

"Ever since then we've been fighting all week cause, he said I embarrassed him in front of our friends and family by not showing up.

"He says, I'm making a big deal of it when we both know I would have showed up and easily said yes to his proposal, and that I'm being ungrateful because any other woman would kill for a boyfriend, who would go through the trouble to make a grand gesture.

"While I agree that I had every intention of saying yes when I knew it was coming, but I don't like being put on the spot or being made to feel obligated to say yes because of an audience.

"Hope you understand Ms. Amira?" She asked

"Hundred percent." I retorted without wasting time, and she continue conveying more.