the first time

block-sweaty hands, trembling lips, shaki

his mouth twitching nervo

nd dropped. His eyes widened. "What

spered, "but I

"You are pretending. Don't

came almost

ng virginity

Mary wan

to be ashamed of. But I held my ground. Because

ed, and even if no one els

rd to now-

posed growth. But the

e betrayal was loude

at the white sheets I had just change

lit candles, opened windows... yet th

hat Stella had s

Under the roof I shared with her. The gi

y gowns before class and

him like it m

. But to me-it was a burial.

n I walked in and saw them tangled, s

n't s

n't f

st r

I went

ng. All day, I lay in bed, replaying everything. From our first date to our first argum

d smi

I respect your b

No call. No apology. Bu

evening. New hair. New n

ered. Unbroken.

in like wildfire. �

ies are no

life o

ment st

from that vi

at tigh

hiding it. They were proud. I curled into my bl

I get for

ain from kee

ter about the betrayal. About how I was

"No" didn't

t respond to messages. The only thing I did was wal

ing gently against my skin. I looke

ispered, "wa

enc

cold one. The kind that ech

y slept, it w

d me was warm, soft, sacred. Then slowly, from behind, a shadow crep

ess. Suddenly, the warmth ar

ose

move. The shadow whispered so

oke, I heard a voice.

w what's been

as dark. My skin prickled wit

a dr

elf. "Just

wn, I wasn'

e a blur. The other hostel girls looked at me with

t, "put-together"

lost everything with

ng, I received a m

ustrated. You kept pushing me away. I'm a

like I owed him sex. Like waiting

I block

is words: "I waited

med myself for making boundaries. For tr

I wr

d just too loud

just to sex, but to compromise, to shortcuts, t

something. But what if... they

e answers. But I

holding on. Even when the world ca

treasures shou

ent until th