nda'

into a grocery store parking lot just outside San Bernardino. It

old sweatshirt Andrew always hated. He could keep the car. Le

all, intentional and walked t

e printed my ticket. "Vegas," I said softly, sliding ove

e wasn't calm. It was weighty, coi

cactus and nothing. Motels and diners fla

mouths open. A baby cried two rows down and

re. I neede

gold and bruised. I got off the bus, the heat sticking to me like a warning

d her the prepaid card and a di

t, just breathing. The city pulsed outside my window bright, bold, una

hat didn't make me feel like Andrew's wife. I didn't know where I was going just that I c

he kind of place for tourists, there were no theme lights, no v

skey and let the burn settle in my chest. The bart

as trying to shake the walls loose. I steppe

alcohol, the heat of too many bodies and a kind

d something they were

just what

ng after my body, the half smiles, the curiosity. The

bad night?

ement. Worst of my l

The bartender a

pt m

enarios before from most likely some

tress me fo

at drink it was. Who cares! I just

drink followed. Then a third. Somewhere between the fourth and fifth, my body

anything tonight and I wa

uture. Not my past. No

another drink, that wa

by standing in it. Broad shoulders.Faded flannel shirt. He had a clean shave. His pre

, like he hadn't spoken much today. He didn't look at me right away. H

. I kept my gaze on

he

o's either running from s

"Can't I be

. He turned toward me then, his e

r en

was storing it aw

do

he said.

a brow. "

g his glass. "Here for wor

ay he spoke.

do y

l Est

s char

he said. "

hat I did. I ap

drink, "what brings a woman

d. But there was something i

he worst part? It happened on our anniversary. Right now, I just need

n't matter, even thoug

s!" I screamed, the alcohol burning in my

o hear that"

ed, trying to belie

e was shocked and thrilled at the same time about how I spo

ough in New Mexico, how the sky there felt closer somehow. I told him ab

ed. That

n't want to get talked into loving again. I needed something reckless.

urned toward the dance floor.

allowed us, the music pulsing like it could force out the grief in my b

se I

toni

t on my sexy hips. I allowed his muscular body to press again

ce and left for my motel room. I just didn't care

n-out room, I l

ip a body tha

ething to feel, eve

it was

ething to take my

soft kisses

needed to devour every part of me. A gasp tore from my th

art of me that ached to be seen. It was like he knew exac

ach other, that was all I las

xxxxxx

rn

s fun and I was bare on the bed. It was o

ty blinds. My head throbbed and

as cold b

the room and i

as g

note. No tr

usea curling in my stomach.

the t

tranger to forget another

elt broken, e

't even tell

e stupid every