ok open and blank, a half-empty cup cooling to my right. It was a still, small sound that had been directed at me, singing For the Girl in Blue, the sound of Alex's voice echoing in my head.I was hol

the look he'd given me, the one that I felt

ft me - the number scrawled in messy black ink - and thought about what it would be like to call him. To allow myself to be consumed by whatever it happened to be. But I knew better. S

guitar case hanging from one shoulder, his dark hair slightly mussed from the night before. He glimpsed me and grinned that lo

sketchbook before he noticed the

his eyes. "No, I left my picks here last night. I was jus

d it was hard not t

halance that I was coming to associate with little else but A

aught off gu

Seine." He bent and set his elbows on the table. Yo

. As if I weren't tied to this town by a thousand invisible threads - doctors' appointments, prescriptions, the wordless dread that settl

y? Time off work? Those are just excuses, Emma.

er or how I had to plan my days around how tired I'd be after my treatments. He didn't know "someday" wasn't a project ther

looked up at him. "There's... there are j

he was going to let it drop. But then, he shocked me - o

nfused. "What

with you? I have always wanted to go to Paris, and could stand to get the hell out of

And yet there was something electric in it, something that made no sense to want to say yes just to see where this was going ahead.

," I said, laughing in

preading cheek to cheek. "Life's short, Emma. M

o throw myself at this, to seize something reckless and beautiful before it slips through my fingers. But the other half, the half that knew what happened,

whispered. "It's n

eny the accusation. "Okay, I

g a grin of my o

made a sharp turn, inquiring about my most recent sketch, and before we even realized it, we were laughing and joking like

t it set something alight in me, a spark I hadn't felt for so many years, the mad, crazy hope that one holds in one's he

d my head under it, covered it with the end of my scarf, gagged

okay?" he asked,

I said, brushing it aside. "

and did not press. "Well, if you ever change yo

iled. "Thanks, Alex

, and Alex checked his watch. "I gotta go - rehea

eart lifted off even as

rose now. "And hey, if you ever need a mu

hbook to a blank page. My hand had a mind of its own, the traveling lines of his face, his guitar, the smile you can't say know to. B

e. But it was the most like