4: Baby

a saw that even the sunlight that had previously warmed the window sill

was no use in trying anymore. Each conversation turned in

d not brok

n she h

rn, and he was already

ulge that had grown beneath her massive sweater. She placed a protective h

he would make a choice. She was keeping

rred as he yelled into his phone. Lana sat comfortably at the side of the couch, crocheting on

sneered. "Still pl

d not

ttling into the couch next to her. "He said

flin

"It is too late now, right?" Jus

u to," Lana said,

ol. "Do not be cocky just because you are holdin

me a mother. And I will do whateve

he couch and staggering toward the bedroom. "What

slammed the door shut. Her chest hurt,

time, she focused on a little blue hat

hree weeks, Lana beg

ie

efu

run and were punished for it. She understood Mark's rage. I

ead down and h

secret compartment in her old cosmetics bag, which she had not used since the beginni

concealed symbolize

ak at the library, she would silently peruse through online sites, noting phone numbers and addresses in a litt

enough to g

day afternoon to see his mother sifti

t?" he said,

she said hurried

ted until she heard the lavatory door close before quietly returning t

e to run one day, and

ant starting

nt leaving eve

rk's eyes but not her grin. She tenderly rocked him, singing an old song that her mother used to

im from me,

bled. "You ga

as racing. She rolled onto her side, arms clenched about her st

from her envelope with shaking hands. It left her with only a few dollar

ything seems good. You are 24 w

dded. T

s life if they remained. She imagined him sobbing in his cot a

ld not let

eserved

did

t sure how to m

ek, Mark drop

another state," he sa

What? "You have

," he interjected. "And if I depart,

r chest constricting.

ed. "How a

is you

think that is my role. I did not sign up for

embling. "Perhaps the baby was

nd but grabbed his

behind him, Lana felt her

ait any longer f

ould

uly, dee

t was not

s a G

otect him with ev

t that she lost