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Chapter 9 No.9

Word Count: 7575    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

's S

ach,

here to-morrow evening,-the monks slowly pacing along in pairs, the boys rushing out of school, as they are now, the maid-servants standing at the doors with the baby in their arms, or wringing their mops,-and we gone. How small a blank people seem to make when they are gone, however large the space they

and dead. Since she told me of the inclination she thinks she neglected in her youth towards the cloister, I understand her better,-the trembling fear with which she receives any goo

h binds her to Eva. She said to me to-day, as we were packing up some of Fritz's books, "The sacrifice I was too selfish to make myself my son has made for me. O Elsè, my child, give at onc

elp feeling sometimes, as I know she feels alw

r to think of it. For if my mother is thus visited for a mistake, for neglecting a doubtful vocation, my pious, sweet mother, what hope is there for me, who scarcely pass a day without having to repent of saying some sharp word to those boys (who certa

eems thoroughly pleased at the thought of our emigration. All day he has been packing, and unpacking, and repacking h

efuge in a convent. And yet I am sure I have not a fault to find with her. I suppose that is exactly what our grandmother and I feel so provoking. Lately she has abandoned all her Latin books for a German book entitled "Theologia Teutsch," or "Theologia Germanica," which Fritz sent us before he left the Erfurt convent on his pilgrimage to Rome. This book seems to make Eva very happy; but as to me, it appears to me more unintelligible than Latin. Although it is qui

sly give me a little leisure to be religious and to prepare to meet

erg, Ma

are more popular than any one's. And he also frequently preaches in the city church. Our grandmother is not pleased with the change. She calls the town a wretched mud village, and wo

hat babies with features too large for their faces often prove the handsomest people when they grow up to their features. And so, no doubt, it will be with Wittemberg, which is at present certainly rather like an infant with the eyes and nose of a full-grown man. The mud walls and l

. But our grandmother need not call it a wilderness. The white sand-hills on the north are broken with little de

me in the great sea. We had no great river at Eisenach, which is an advantage on the side of Wittemberg. And then the banks are

arry arms, which is some comfort. But the town's people also are warlike and turbulent, and drink a great deal of beer. There are one hundred and seventy breweries in the place, although ther

other says they are Wends, and that this town is the last place on the borders of the civilized world. Beyond it, she decla

only Christian colonists living in the midst of half-heathen savages. To me it is rather a gloomy idea, to think that between Wittemberg and the Turks and Tartars, or even the savages

younger, he would organize a land expedition, and traverse the country until h

s and crucibles in which he is always on the point of transmuting lead into silver, to be tame and slow processes. Since we have been here, he has for the time abandoned his alchemical experiments, and sits for hours with a great map spread before him, calculating in the most a

f pillows, where she sat hugging her own especial treasures,-her broken doll, the wooden horse Christopher made for her, a precious store of cones and pebbles from the forest, and a very shaggy disreputable foundling dog which she has adopted, and can by no means be persu

treasures, his folios, and models, and

e, the volume of the "Theologia Ger

Atlantis was so wild with delight at the thought of the new world and the new life, from which she was persuaded all the cares of the old were to be ex

ls, like the mischievous elves of the farm and hearth, when they are capriciously bent on doing some poor human being a good turn. He scarcely tried my temper once during the whole journey. Since we reached Wittember

or a last look at the old house, for at the instant we turned the corner, Thekla and her treasures nearly came to an untimely end by the downfall of one of the father's machines; which so discouraged Thekla, and excited our grandmother, Nix and the baby, that it required considerable soothing to

n by the difficulties in which Nix's self-confident but not very courageous dispositio

round which we arranged such bedding and furniture as we could unpack, and the children were wild with del

positively forbade our mentioning the name of any of the fore

there were wailings and sighings and distant moanings among the pines, not quite to be accounted fo

s clasped, and her lips moving as if in prayer. I felt her

ther strange and unaccountable noises around us? I wonder

ed, "good and evil spirits prowling around us, or ministering to us.

at all r

ers; I feel afraid I may not think of the righ

n all. And I like the wild forests," she continued, as if to herself, "because God is the only owner there, and I can feel more unreservedly, that we, and the creatures, and all we most call our own, are His, and only His. In the cities, the houses are called after the n

o call anything o

y it was because Adam ate the apple that he was lost, or fell; but my book says it was 'because

qually God's? If property is sin, then why is stealing sin? Eva, this religion is quite above and beyond me. It seems to me in this way it would be al

n Commandments. But trying to comprehend what Eva said so bewildered me, that my thoughts soon wandered beyond my control altogether. I heard no more of Eva or the wind

oad, in a deep valley, a company of horsemen suddenly dashed down from a castle

, turning our horses' heads, and pushing Ch

hristopher,

followers; "we have no quarrel with Eisen

but a young knight who seemed to le

d?" he asked of Christopher, using the fo

ng," replied Christopher, not ver

lading?" ask

goods," replied C

e, friend, and wh

is the director of the Elector's printing

us all with a cool freedom, as if his notice honoured us, until his eye lighted on Eva, who was sitting with her arm round Thekla, soothing the frig

I ask your name, fair Fraülein?" he sa

r flowers, without changing feature or colour

ld that we were nearer our Schloss, that I migh

vest expression; "I am no Fraülein, I am a burgher maiden; but if I were a queen, any of God's flowers w

ry failed him altogether, and he murmured, "I have merited the rebuke. These flowers are too fair, at least for

said Eva; but little Thekla filled both her li

like," she said; "Christophe

retired to some distance behind us, and followed us till we were close to Erfurt, when he spurred on to my father's side, and saying rapidly, "You will be safe now, and

Christopher?" I asked, when we

of a feud between the knights and the burghers, and if we would a

, was courteous

ingly; "to insult us without provocation, and then, as a favour, exempt us from their

way about women. And our grandmother interposed,-"Don't dispute, children; if your grandfather had not been unfo

olatory to my grandmother and me to consider how exalted our position would have been, had it not been

va, and I went on foot to see Aunt Agnes at the convent of Nimptschen

e, and manner, and face were entirely unchanged since that last interview when

en she said, in reference to Fritz's entering the cloister, "Praise to God, and the blessed Virg

t our happiness should be ruined and our home desolated? And had God heard her? Was the fatal spel

Her voice was metallic and lifeless; the touch of her hand was impassive and cold as marble when we

not," was

rget us, sister?

m, irresponsive voice, which seemed as if it had never vibrated

n my heart to this i

er forg

h and cell, she watches over us, and

lear He does! Had she not been asking Him to make Frit

nt, Eva?" I said to her tha

be very happy there. There would be so much time for prayer. One c

you think o

her. I think sh

ad alike to joy or

us die without pain,"

their blossoms just before we arrived, in a carpet of pink and white petals. Under the shade of these I carry my embroidery frame, when the house work is finished; and sometimes little Thekla comes and prattles to me, and sometimes Eva reads and sings to me. I cannot help regretting that lately Eva is so absorbed with that "Theologia Germanica." I cannot understand it as well as I do the Latin hymns when once she has translated them to me; for these speak of Jesus the Saviour, who left the heavenly home and sat weary by the way seeking for us; or of Ma

g and dreary as this all-absorbing Being in Eva's book. The God my mother dreads has indeed eyes of severest justice, and a frown of wrath against the sinner; but if once one could learn how to please him, the eyes might smile, the frown might pass. It is a countenance; and a heart which might meet ours!

window and looked out acr

We seemed to see range after range of stars beyond each other in the clear air. The only sound

be able to look up and feel there is no barrier of our own poor ownership between us and Him, the Possessor of heaven and earth! How much poorer we shoul

wants. And yet, how much better things are with us then they were!-the appointment of my father as director of the Elector's printing establishm

nless all things are one to us, and One is all, and something and nothing are alike. I suppose I am n

ome quite the same again, since Fritz is gone. But as to feeling something and nothi

shall never comprehend it quite, or be

; but I heard her singing on

ennial the parched heart

imprisoned, longs her

ing, yearning in her

ed and sorrows, only gr

the glory which she lo

hed good the presen

the pleasures and t

ly mansions, sheddin

en roofs, which glitte

ost precious are those

ss transparent, are thos

can enter, nothing

g summer, rage within

of roses, and unfa

glows, and dropping bal

nest pastures,-this

stilling, perfumes br

ter always on the le

l and changing, there no

t blest city is at

nown no longer,-day

uns, are radiant,-like t

r conflict, all thei

the battles where they f

is cleansèd, every

eir bodies,-perf

e for ever, no offens

vesture, in their Sourc

learning, on its form

ing Fountain draughts

ternations, enters no

, no shade of chance or

the deathless, nor o

ternal,-things that ce

s perished,-there they

s swallowed up o

dden,-knowing Him to w

p recesses, sinless,

purpose, heart and

ied labours the rewa

oves in others everm

y of each becomes t

there ever are th

the angels one most b

country living on t

seeking, what they ha

ret them never, nor

aspiring, in their j

new forever, those m

llest music through tho

r bringing praises

g of Heaven in his

one rejoicing, see t

s and planets, radiant

aithful victors! of t

l be ended, to its m

appy inmates, sharer

contending, still be wi

the quiet when the

hee for ever in tha

ion

wds of pilgrims have come from all the neighbouring villages, Wendish and Saxon. It has been very unpleasant to go about the streets, so much beer has been consumed; and the students and pea

fully hateful,-hunchbacked, and dressed like a rich Jewish miser; an

oly women at the cross, but she would not. Indeed she nearly wept at the thought, and did not seem to like the whole ceremony at all. "It all rea

sting and satire than I liked. Christopher

f her heart would break. I drew her towards me, but I could not discover that anything at all was the matter, except that the young knight who had stopped us i

so unpardonable an o

No one will ever have any right to keep anything for my sake;

tsch?' Your book says you are to take all things meekly, and

seems to me very evil, and very sad. And there seems no place in it for an orphan girl like me. There is no rest except in being a wife or a nun. A wife I shall never be, and th

y I told the mother, who said gravely, "She will

is in vain indeed to fight against Him!" Then, fearing she might have wounded me, she kissed me and said,

think Aunt Agnes has bee

h a startled look. "She did

ny such prayers for you or for me. For, as to me, it is entirely useless. And if you were to imitate S

never hope for anything beyond this, that God in his great mercy may one day pardon me my sins, and receive me as the lowes

ue the subject, fearing it might s

berg,

all that helped us to be less earthly taken from us. It seems to me as if a lovely picture of the Holy Mother had been removed from the dwelling-room since Eva has gone, and instead we had nothing

how I must have been leaning on her. She always seemed so child-like, and so above my petty cares-and in practical things I certainly understood much more; and yet, in some way, whenever I talked anything over with her, it always seemed to take the burden away,-to change cares

for Fritz; but she tries to hide it, lest we shoul

her prayers answered about our precious mother also,-if n

ke to her yet! He told me also one thing, which has made me rather anxious. On the journey, Eva begged him to take care of our father's sight, which, she said, she thought had been failing

it, he has asked me once or twice to find things for him, a

any of us what every one wanted. Darling child! she will remember us, then, and our little cares. And she will have

e hymn in her own writing to Christopher, to bring to me. S

maris

mate

semper

c?li

s ill

ieli

nos

nomen

common name, I

of the change. Sister Ave will be as dear to me as Cousi

was with us, never seemed to make h

cannot, of cour

mains steadfast to

r transformed the name of our mother Eva! And now our child Eva

ne

in the forest has call

ell him where our Eva is, because I cannot help

as noble, after all. None but maidens

"our mother's f

ce, and something in her words and tones, have haunted me l

id. And he seemed so interested in our father's models, that

as he says, too religious and

is to come to an end altogether, it would be a great blessing if God had made

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