img The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter  /  Chapter 5 IN WHICH IS RELATED HOW PLEASANTLY THE MAJOR TOOK HIS MISFORTUNES. | 11.63%
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Chapter 5 IN WHICH IS RELATED HOW PLEASANTLY THE MAJOR TOOK HIS MISFORTUNES.

Word Count: 1514    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

p, and had laid at my door charges that would have brought tears into the eyes of all my ancestors, they wheeled suddenly about, took back all they had said, threw glory at my feet, and,

ion, no doubt it would have bee

s, and otherwise exercises his skill in the art of fascinating females, his Honor had been after him with all the courage of his police force. But as it was merely taking in a stranger, the matter, his Honor thought, had better be stopped, since the degree and quality of the crime was so like that known as 'sharp practice' in Wall street, that to punish one and let another go free wo

that displayed by them while devouring my character. But, on the whole, they were a jolly set of fellows -quite as jolly as one could desire. If they entertained a magnificent dislike for one another, it was to be set down to a s

election of General Harrison was entirely owing to the wisdom I had distilled into the minds of the people of Cape Cod. And though I never had even scented the perfumery of war, another said that as a military man I had no su

to persons so distinguished. Genin sent circulars to say that hats of the latest pattern could be got cheaper and better of him than any one else. Tiffany & Company, in a delicately enveloped card, reminded me, (for Mrs. Potter's sake, no doubt,) that their stock of jewelry was of the finest description. Ball & Black sent to say that swords and other appurtenances necessary to a military gentleman could be got of them, much superior in quality, and cheaper in price, than at any other establishment in Broadway, or, indeed, in the city. Stewart, I was

proceed at a more rapid pace, as his appetite caused him to make sundry c

ncident to their professions. Brandreth sent me samples of his pills, which he said were unequaled for purging politicians of all those ill humors they were heirs to. And both (moved by Brown, no doubt) sent me invitations to parties given in honor of me at their princely mansions on the Fifth Avenue. Barnum, too, consi

le damsels, who mistook me for a single man on the look out. As to young widows, why, the tears hung as temptingly in their eyes as pearls. Whether they were for me or their deceased husbands, I am not bou

nd selling eatables. Now I by no means underrate the man of letters who truly represents genius, or learning; but that every dabbler in small satire should dub himself a man of letters, and therefore set up for an idol before whom better men must bow, or have their social affairs battered to pieces, is something I cannot condescend to admit. By all means, if the little fellows will have a court, let them have

lf to principles my party would not sanction. They, however, took me into their keeping, and so delayed my journey to Washington that I began to feel that I had got among friends of the wrong kind." We were now

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Contents

Chapter 1 WHICH TREATS OF THINGS NOT PARTICULARLY INTERESTING, AND MIGHT HAVE BEEN OMITTED WITHOUT PREJUDICE TO THIS HISTORY. Chapter 2 WHICH TREATS OF HOW I LEFT MY NATIVE CAPE, AND SUNDRY OTHER MATTERS. Chapter 3 IN WHICH IS RELATED A PLEASANT MEETING WITH A RENOWNED MAJOR. Chapter 4 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MAJOR FELL AMONG POLITICIANS AND OTHER NEW YORK VAGABONDS. Chapter 5 IN WHICH IS RELATED HOW PLEASANTLY THE MAJOR TOOK HIS MISFORTUNES. Chapter 6 WHAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE FISHMONGER. Chapter 7 THE MAJOR RESUMES THE STORY OF HIS ADVENTURES IN NEW YORK. Chapter 8 IN WHICH MAJOR POTTER ENCOUNTERS A SWINE DRIVER, AND TRADES WITH HIM FOR AN INTELLIGENT PIG. Chapter 9 WHICH TREATS OF HOW MAJOR POTTER ARRIVED IN BARNSTABLE, AND SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS, WITHOUT WHICH THIS HISTORY WOULD NOT BE PERFECT. Chapter 10 WHICH TREATS OF TWO STRANGE CHARACTERS I MET AT THE INDEPENDENT TEMPERANCE HOTEL. Chapter 11 IN WHICH THERE IS AN INTERESTING MEETING BETWEEN MAJOR POTTER AND HIS WIFE POLLY.
Chapter 12 WHEREIN IS RECORDED EVENTS WHICH TOOK PLACE ON THE DAY FOLLOWING THE MAJOR'S ARRIVAL AT BARNSTABLE, WITH SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS.
Chapter 13 WHICH TREATS OF WHAT WAS DONE WITH THE PIG; AND ALSO OF THE LECTURE ON CRABBE, BY GILES SHERIDAN, AND VARIOUS THINGS.
Chapter 14 IN WHICH THE READER IS INFORMED HOW MAJOR ROGER POTTER, IN LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY, AND TO SUSTAIN THE HONOR OF HIS PROFESSION, DISPLAYED HIS COURAGE DURING A STORM.
Chapter 15 WHICH TREATS OF A PARTY OF YACHTERS MET ON THE SOUND, AND WHAT PAINS THEY TOOK TO COMFORT THE MAJOR, ON BEING MADE ACQUAINTED WITH HIS VARIOUS EXPLOITS.
Chapter 16 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MERRY VOYAGERS MADE MUCH OF MAJOR ROGER POTTER, AND HOW THEY INVITED HIM TO AN INTERVIEW WITH THE COMMODORE OF THE FLEET.
Chapter 17 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RECEIVED BY THE COMMODORE OF THE YACHT SQUADRON, AND SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS, WITHOUT WHICH THIS HISTORY WOULD NOT SUSTAIN ITS CHARACTER FOR TRUTH.
Chapter 18 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RESTORED TO PERFECT HEALTH; AND ALSO AN AUTHENTIC DESCRIPTION OF WHAT TOOK PLACE ON HIS ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK.
Chapter 19 WHICH TREATS OF MANY THINGS UNIQUE AND WONDERFUL, ALL OF WHICH TOOK PLACE WHEN THE MAJOR ARRIVED AT THE GREAT ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL.
Chapter 20 WHICH CAREFULLY RECORDS WHAT PASSED BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE MAYOR-HOW THEY MADE SPEECHES, AND WERE SERENADED.
Chapter 21 IN WHICH MAJOR ROGER POTTER IS FOUND ALMOST SUFFOCATED; AND HOW HE DECLARES THAT MEN OF LOWLY BIRTH BECOME DANGEROUS WHEN ELEVATED TO POWER.
Chapter 22 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MAJOR RECEIVED THE CALLS OF DISTINGUISHED PERSONS, AND HOW HE DISCOVERED THE OBJECT OF HIS MISSION.
Chapter 23 RELATING TO THE APPEARANCE OF AN UNEXPECTED CHARACTER, WHICH GRIEVOUSLY DISTURBED THE MAJOR'S EQUANIMITY.
Chapter 24 WHICH DESCRIBES WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THE MAJOR RETURNED TO THE SAINT NICHOLAS; WITH AN ACCOUNT OF HOW HE GOT INTO DEBT AT THE ASTOR, AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS.
Chapter 25 WHICH DESCRIBES SEVERAL STRANGE INCIDENTS THAT TOOK PLACE, AND MUST BE RECORDED, OR THE TRUTH OF THIS HISTORY MAY BE QUESTIONED.
Chapter 26 WHICH RELATES THE VERY UNMILITARY PREDICAMENT THE MAJOR WAS FOUND IN ON THE FOLLOWING MORNING, WHEN HIS PRESENCE WAS EXPECTED AT THE REVIEW.
Chapter 27 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RESTORED TO CONSCIOUSNESS; AND OF THE STORY OF AN ECCENTRIC CRITIC.
Chapter 28 IN WHICH WILL BE FOUND SEVERAL THINGS COMMON TO MILITARY POLITICIANS; ALSO, A CURIOUS HISTORY OF THE CRITICS, AS RELATED BY MR. TICKLER.
Chapter 29 GENERAL POTTER RECEIVES A LETTER FROM HIS WIFE POLLY; HE ENGAGES TO FIGHT THE KING OF THE KALORAMAS; PREPARES TO LEAVE FOR WASHINGTON; AND VARIOUS THINGS CURIOUS AND INTERESTING.
Chapter 30 GENERAL ROGER POTTER AND HIS SECRETARY ARRIVE IN WASHINGTON, TO THE NO SMALL ALARM OF CERTAIN ADEPTS AND OFFICE SEEKERS.
Chapter 31 IN WHICH IS RECORDED A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN STRETCHER, TICKLER, AND THE GENERAL, AND WHAT THEY THOUGHT OF THE STATE OF THE NATION.
Chapter 32 WHICH RECORDS HOW THE GENERAL GOT HIS COMMISSION, AND RETURNED TO NEW YORK, WITH SEVERAL OTHER THINGS COMMON TO POLITICIANS.
Chapter 33 OF THE MEETING BETWEEN THE GENERAL AND HIS SECRETARY, WHO RELATES AN AFFAIR OF GALLANTRY THAT HAD WELL-NIGH COST HIM HIS LIFE; ALSO, OF THE DEPARTURE FOR KALORAMA.
Chapter 34 CONTAINING A FAITHFUL ACCOUNT OF WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN GENERAL POTTER AND HIS SECRETARY CROSSED THE LINE, AND HOW HE RODE THE FLYING HORSE.
Chapter 35 OF THE GENERAL'S RECOVERY, AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH MR. TICKLER; ALSO, OF THE LANDING AT BUZABUB, AND VARIOUS OTHER STRANGE AND AMUSING THINGS.
Chapter 36 ONE OF THE MOST TRUTHFUL ACCOUNTS OF HOW GENERAL POTTER SPENT A NIGHT AMONG THE DEAD.
Chapter 37 IN WHICH THE READER WILL FIND THE MOST FAITHFUL ACCOUNT OF THE JOURNEY TO NEZUB; AND ALSO WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN GENERAL POTTER WAS PRESENTED TO THE KING.
Chapter 38 WHICH DESCRIBES THE ARRIVAL OF AN ARMY OF VAGABONDS; AND HOW THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE BANANA HILLS WAS FOUGHT.
Chapter 39 WHICH TREATS OF VARIOUS CURIOUS THINGS THAT OCCURRED WHEN THE RESULT OF THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE BANANA HILLS WAS ANNOUNCED TO THE COMMANDER.
Chapter 40 WHICH RELATES SEVERAL CURIOUS THINGS THAT TOOK PLACE AFTER THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE MIRACLE WAS DECIDED; AND ALSO HOW A GREAT QUARREL AROSE CONCERNING THE GOVERNMENT OF KALORAMA.
Chapter 41 IN WHICH THE READER WILL FIND MUCH THAT IS CURIOUS AND INTERESTING.
Chapter 42 WHICH RELATES A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THEY REACHED THE HOUSE OF ANGELIO'S PARENTS.
Chapter 43 THE LAST AND MOST CURIOUS CHAPTER IN THIS EVENTFUL HISTORY.
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