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Chapter 7 HOW JULIA DID NOT GET THE BLUE DAFFODIL

Word Count: 6242    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

etween each two, and there was an antimacassar of severe but rich beauty. Denah explained all this as she set Mevrouw to work on the pattern; it was very intricate, quite exciting, becau

after the invalid cousin. Denah thought herself the deepest and most diplomatic young woman in Holland; she even found it in her heart to pity Julia, the

middle of the road, or else separately, one side of it; and seeing that they were of the same nationality, in a foreign land, and had some previous acquaintance, it would have been nothing short of absurd to have done the latter. So as often as they met they walked together and talked of many things, and in t

in consequence of this it was some time before she knew for certain where it was he went, although she had early guessed. But one damp evening

by the road," she said,

out at all this evening," he remarked. "I should have thought yo

were not. It is the last opportunity we shall have for a

"that she will neglect the crochet work, and you will ha

ipline," s

you deserve to succeed in whatever it is you

g at home and doing crochet work while Joost is i

e, greyish-white in colour, and with more than half of its windows bricked up, indescribably gloomy. A long, straight piece of water lay before it, stretching almost from the walls to the road, from which it was separated by a low fence. Tall, thick trees grew in a close

y size or possible interest in the village; the only one, she had de

gate she ventured, "Y

ered; "to Herr

me he is a great c

bsorbed in his work; it is impossible to see

er to go, have you?" he said. "Will you excuse me carrying

e to carry it, but her eyes as she said it twinkled wi

mists by the lake. And the thought pleased her somewhat, for it suggested that Rawson-Clew had a respect for her acumen, an

he messages and dainties she had brought. After that they talked of the weather, which was bad; and the neighbours, who, on the whole, were good. Julia knew most of them by name by this time-the kind old Padre and his wife; the captain of the little cargo-boat, who

uch the reverse, it being difficult to find a cook equal to his demands who would for any length of time endure the shortness of the housekeeper's temper, and the worse one of her master. The domestic affairs of the chemist were a favourite subject of gossip, but sometimes his attainments came in for mention too; they did to-night, the cousin being in a garrulous mood. According to her, the great man had done everything in science worth mentioning, and was not only the first chemist i

Soon after hearing it, however, she was obliged to go. She made her farewells, and received messages of affection for Mevrouw, condol

ience had helped Nature to make it so. There were one or two things in connection with Rawson-Clew which were very clear to her, he was not a scientist pure and simple; she had never met one, but she knew he was not one, and so was not likely to be interested in the great chemist for chemist

imes necessary in business-commerce had its morality as law, and the army had theirs-but it was not a thing he would ever do himself, he would not feel it exactly honourable. But to attempt to gain a secret for national use was quite another thing, not only justifiable but right, more especiall

ssionately to be able to regard herself, to know that the man had reason to regard her, as his equal. And yet to possess the thing seemed daily more difficult; more and more plainly did she see that bribery, persuasion, cajolery were alike useless. The precious bulb could be got

cold grey eyes. She could well imagine the slight difference in his manner to her afterwards, scarcely noticeable to the casual observer, impossible to be overlooked by her. She told herself she did not care what he thought; but she did. Pride was grasping at a desired, but impossible, equality with this man, and here, were the means used only known, was the nearest way to lose it. At times he had forgotten the gap of age and circumstances between them-really forgotten it, she knew, not

ith the same brush; she would show him how his attempt on Herr Van de Greutz might also be made to look. He would not be convinced, of course, but at bottom the two things were so related that it would be surprising if she did not get a few shafts home. He would not show the wounds then, but they would be there; they would rankle; there would be som

s that she did not see Joost coming towards her. He had been to escort Denah, who had thoughtfully forg

room for him in her mind just then; he seemed incongruous and out of place. She even looked at him a littl

ss Denah," he explained. "I saw you a long way off, and thoug

. "I am not angry," she said, as she w

easant, then, that

of the people must have enjoyed throwing mud at the women of the aristocrats; how they must have liked

ot unpleasant?" he said. "It is the most griev

d; "but for the others? Can you not ima

lent or terrible, and Julia went on to ask him ano

thousand other things that they had not, and could never have-feelings, instincts, pleasures, traditions-which they could not have had or enjoyed even if they

aid, "You cannot enjoy to think of such things; it is horrible an

are pitiful creatures, and, under the thin veneer, like enough to the beast

was talking to his level. "Why do you always speak to me of bulbs

quite true; you yourself have said that I should make a good florist; already I have le

, you would be thinking of plants. You were not when I met you; it was the Revolution, or, perhaps,

ughts?" Julia said, impatiently.

y sometimes it seems to me your voic

vo

my parents, or any one. It is like a master playing on an instrument; you make simple words mean much, more than I understand sometimes; you can caress and you can laugh with your voice; I have heard you do it when I have not been able

ignoring the comment on her voice. "Human nature is a ha

have sometimes thought perhaps, if it were not so

got on very well in the Garden of Eden, except that, since all the herbs g

manner showed it, to her impatient annoyance, as he hastily introduced another aspect of man's first estate. "If we were not fallen," he added, "we

ed; "I admire the people who are bo

e; it did not occur to him tha

ps never wanted to do more wrong than to take her mother's prunes, but is there inspiration in her? She is as soft and as kind as a feather pillow, and as inspiring. But you-you told me once you were bad; I did not believe you; I did not understand, but now I know your meaning. You have it in your power to b

ace, but her voice sounded strange to him. "You do not know what you are talking about," she said; "hardly in my life

it 'honourable' and 'dishonourable,' and another 'right' and 'wrong,' and another 'wise' and 'unwise.' But it is always the same thin

er, puzzled at last; but though they had now reached the house, and the lamplight

rand, and heard from her, what she knew already, that she would not be able to come and superintend the crochet that day. And being in a black and reckless mood, she had the effrontery to laugh a silent, comprehend

ide her feelings, however, and behaved beautifully, giving the suitable attention and suitable answers to all Mevrouw's little remarks about the weather, and J

he talked to his parents that he was listening, and putting another and fuller interpretation on her words. That was stimulating and pleasant too; it was a new form of

work brought out. A clock in the passage struck the hour when, of late, after an exhilirati

s the charm of educated intercourse and quick comprehension. To-night there was nothing; no exercise to stir the blood, no solitude to stimulate the imagination, no effort of talk or understanding to rouse

, the lantern, a great bunch of keys, and went out. Julia watched him go, and said nothing; she had been the rounds a good many times with Joost now; the family had talked about it more than once, and about her bravery with regard to rats and robbers. Neit

he advent of a snow-storm in July would not have been allowed to break it. Mijnheer's cold was decidedly worse; towards evening it grew very bad. He came in early from the office, and sat and shivered in the sitting-room with Julia and his wife, who wa

once again, "how bad the

-also once again-that it was p

aper to remark that the weath

all for you. You should be in bed. Indeed, it is not fit tha

idea of bed. "Pooh!" he said. "Make myself an invalid with Joost away! Will you go and nurse my nose, and put plasters on my chest? Go to bed now, do you say? N

ea of his going out in such weather was terribl

ils were. She could find them with perfect ease; could choose one in the dark as easily as Mijnheer himself; she could substitute for it another, one of the common sort of the same shape and size; no one would be the wiser; even when it bloomed, with the simple yellow flower that has beautified spring woods so long, no one would know it was not

er own weakness in her mind. It is not opportunity that makes thieves of thinking folk, and she knew it; rather it is the thief that makes opportunity, if he is up to his work. Why should she be afraid to go to the barns? She wou

will lock up for you, Mi

m with impatient politeness, as one does who is waiting for the advent of a greater matter; she was not irritated by the trivial interruptions which came between her and the decision which was yet to be made; it was somehow so great to her that it seemed as if it could wait. At last she was off, Mijnheer's ga

cuse for taking it, or tell herself that one out of six was not much; or that Joost, could he know the case, would not have grudged her one of his precious bulbs. There was only one thing she admitted-it was there, and her ne

rds his own way; she remembered very plainly what he said but two nights ago-right and wrong, honourable and dishonourable, wise and unwise, they meant the same thing to different people, the choosing of the higher, the leaving of the lower-and he believed no less of her. That belief, surely, was a thing that fought on the side of the angels? And then there was that other man, able, well-bred, int

k? I, alone in the big, black, contradictory world. Julia realised it, and asked herself what it mattered if he, if they, if all the world called it wrong? What-pitiless, l

earnest, trusting blue eyes. She saw it, and she saw the humble dignity with which he had shown her his six bulbs. Not as a proud possessor shows a treasure, rather as an adept shares some secret of his faith or art; so had he placed them in her power, given her a chance to so use this trust. She almost groaned aloud as she recalled him, and recalled, sorely aga

ould have been a semblance of fight in it; but now-now it could not be done. Logic, the pitiless solvent, has no action on those old long-transmitted instincts; it

sky. For a moment she stood and looked, hearing the wild night voices, the sob of the wet wind, the rustle and mutter of the trees-those primitive inarticulate things that do not lie. And in her heart she felt very weary of shams and pret

in the idea which had possessed her that night-the thought of stealing to prove a lie, and acting dishonourably to pay a debt of honour. At the time she did not think at

ood a second, the rain falling upon her bare head, the wind blowing her cloak about her. And she did not feel triumph

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