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Chapter 10 FELICIA FINDS HAPPINESS

Word Count: 8993    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

peak of clo

with its go

these fam

d me from

in feminine weaknesses which made her all the more lovable to those people who understood her, and all the more incongruous and irritating to those who did not. Christopher, too, rested in an oasis of happiness just then. He was an adept in the study of Elisabeth, and he knew perfectly well what had passed

re counted as unimportant if not sinful, and where wisdom and righteousness are held to be the two only ends of life. Perhaps in a former existence-or in the person of some remote ancestor-Christopher had been a knightly and devoted cavalier, ready to lay down his life for Church and king, and in the meantime spending his days in writing odes to his mistress's eyebrow; and now he had been born into a strict Puritan atmosphere, where principles rather than persons commanded men's loyalty, and where romance was held to be a t

hat when he met Felicia and saw that she was fair, he straightway elected her to the office which Elisabeth had created and then declined to fill; and because human nature-and especially young human nature-is stronger even than early training or old associations, Felicia fell in love with him in return, in spite of (possibly because of) her former violent prejudice against him. To expect a person to be a monster and then to find he is a man, has very much the same effect as expecting a person to be a man

living green; for them the mountains and hills broke forth into singing, and the trees of the field clapped their hands. Most men and women have known one spring-time such as this in their liv

nge new country, and had shut the door in her face. There was no place for her in this fairyland of theirs; they did not want her any longer; and although she was too large-hearted for petty jea

m was so strong within her that she could not resist it; and she took as much trouble to win the admiration of women as of men. Therefore, Alan and Felicia having done with her, for the time being, she turned her attention to Christopher; and although he fully comprehended the cause, he none the less enjoyed the effect.

stopher happened to drop in about tea-time. He had a way of appearing upon the scene when Elisabeth needed him, and of effacing himself when she did not. He also had a way of smoothing down all the little faults and tria

at the situation

y he shouldn't, when you haven't

and strait-laced, can see no harm in that. It seems to me a thing that a man might do

for the woman; y

the dulness of the woman is a consummation so devoutly to be prayed against.

e other woman has

lied; "but I can't for the life of m

nobody is in but me, and it is so stuffy to stay in the house now we

qually busy consoling

out what it

stic seat where they had sat together scores of times; and Elisabeth thought about the g

is in love with Felicia?

the supposition,"

wasn't capable of

n the least mean that he wasn't

" Elisabeth remarked, looking at him through the very eyelashes abo

ossess strange gifts of divination. I remember that you once expounded to me th

good-looking," E

rest friend coul

has sweet

is the sort of girl tha

lovely

conclude. I have never ruffled it-nor tried

ruffling peop

e's tempers

rt of pe

u do. The people I care about can not be counted by 'sorts

an me, don't you?" Elisabeth a

se matters I think it wise to take your stateme

you are

ter than you do." An

e you all

ighly sati

way of talking about things dazzled me somehow. But after a time I found out t

t he takes himself in more than he takes in other people, and he really means well." Ch

e about the troubles of the poor you were rowing Johnnie Stubbs ab

you, I am afraid that poor Johnnie Stubbs would have had to remain on dry land. I merely took the advice of the g

Chris! You never own u

p to my good points that exis

on a journey; she always says she has so many packages, and so many th

abeth was pleased with him. "Let us wander back to our muttons," he said, "which, being interpreted, mea

. "She is the sort of person w

l' is the most correct adjective f

the pencil sket

t how

d think she is really an easy five-and-forty, accelerated by limited means and an exacting conscience. She is always bothering about sins a

re on the exc

kind of religion it makes me angry. It seems to caricature the whole thing. She appears to think that Chris

dear w

as bad as reducing the number of the fixed stars to pounds, shillings, and penc

t persons do that. They make mistakes, I admit, but they don't know that they

love should never talk about

le, can't; so who is to conduct authorized conversati

hrough it, and so know all

n to read a paper on the same before the College of Surgeons; and, in the second, I should say-for the sake of argument-that the man who has been through eternity

ld and the next-first to know it and then to be guided by it. I am sure that she wishes that the Bible had been written on the principle of that dreadful

Herbert a lady, wouldn'

ve affairs; and if a woman is a lady when she talks about her love affairs,

alled Miss Herbert a

w; it always turned out ladie

maintained that it

as a sop to what's-his-name, becaus

at himself for doing it (knowing that her present graciousness to him merely meant that she was dull, and wanted somebody to pla

Herbert like?

the sort that seems to regard the Almighty as a blindly indulgent and easily-hoodwinked Father

n. I quite think that among themselves they talk of 'the dear devil.' And yet '

aults, Christopher; whenever you have seen a funny side to anything you never see any othe

our exhaustive and gratuitous spiritual diagnosis. To c

find it out some day, altho

or rather absence of religious views-with her code of the next w

d always wears blinkers. It shies a good deal at gnats, I own; but it can run in double-harness with a camel, if worldly considerations render such a

get thee a husband if thou be so shrew

en people put religious things in a horrid light, it makes you feel as i

an say that makes 'my l

religion; and I don't believe that religion means that sort of giving up at all. Of course, God is pleased when we do what He wishes us

lease another person, one often ends by enjoying the doing of the thi

eir time with you, and do what you were doing, when you knew all the time th

theology, but he knew exactly how people felt when th

to be with them; and if they didn't really care to be with you, you wouldn't thank them for unselfishness in the matter. So if an ordinary man like yo

s. The more one loves a person, the more one wishes that person to be worthy of love; and though we don

are rather a reserved, cold-hearted person, and not at all af

ople-but in my own way, as you s

at forced and artificial de

understand as

y love each other, because their two wills are merged in one, and each finds his own happiness in the happiness of the other. And I don't believe that God wants us to give up our

, I believe tha

y in which you care for Mr. Smallwood and Cousin Maria and me. That's a very nice friendly sort of caring, I admit, and keeps t

n't it? I should have thought t

ttachment would teach one-not as much as Al

you thi

anything, Chris, though we've always been fond

e, for you have taught me a g

ime I've taught you anything, I have changed my mind about it myself, and find

should find it at all a bother

all over again, and teach you different." Elisa

t. Some lessons are so hard to master that life would be unbearable if

I know what it is-you've got a headache; I can see it in

ssi

boy! Doe

consid

you had

d he added to himself, "ever since I can

s sleeve affectionat

e and she were alike dependent upon Miss Farringdon's bounty, and they had neither anything of their own? He rejoiced that Alan Tremaine had failed to win her love; but he scorned him as a fool for not having succeeded in doing so when he had

t! If I had only the means to make her happy, I would talk to her about herself and me until she was tired of the subject-and that wouldn't be this side Doomsday. And she thinks that I am cold-hearted!" But wha

ow. I wonder if that is because he has left off making love to me, or be

re a little over his own head. As a matter of fact, I believe I mentioned this conviction to

It seems to me that you

usky voice, but with a very kindly smile. "I am older, you see, for one thing; and I have

gh you always know when I am wrong or fool

t the word; and yet women were sup

foolish," he said, "as long as you are

ally think

ow you could w

are a very restful person, Chris; when my mind gets tired with worrying over things and trying to

, you see; and w

get the utmost I can out of everything, I shall spend the first three thousand years of eternity sitting quite still upon a fixed star

han two thousand years at the outside. By that time you'd have pulled yourself togeth

oy that," lau

els, if they were

lasting and satisfactory of the two. Somehow the mere presence of Christopher had quite cured the sore feeling that Alan and Felicia had left behind them when they started for their walk without even asking her to go with them; and she was once more sure of the fact that she was necessary to somebody-a certainty without which Elisabeth could not live. So her imaginatio

" he said, after she had be

ed that hens are just like tea-pots, and cocks like coffee-pots? Look at them now! It seems as if an army of

t here are Miss Herbert and Tremaine return

away; he had a wonderful power of exterminating the little foxes which would otherwise have spoiled Elisabeth's vines; and again she said to herself how much better a

to be prepared for that; but she had anticipated a fierce warfare in the soul of Felicia between the directly opposing principles of this young lady's mother and lover. To Elisabeth's surprise, this civil war never took place. Felicia accepted Alan's doubts as unquestioningly as she had formerly accepted Mrs. Herbert's beliefs; and as she loved the

, so to speak; at any rate, Felicia's mother was not one of the bright exceptions; and-from a purely commercial point of view-a saving faith does not go so far as a spending income, and it is no use pretending that it does. So Mrs. Herbert smiled upon her daughter's engagemen

in the early summer, "it is such a comfort to Mr. Herbert and myself to know that our dear child is so comfortab

ster of the Moat House, was merciful. "He is an extremely interest

mparatively early in life of both his parents, and so ought rather to be pitied than blamed," agreed Mrs. Herbert, who would cheerfully have poured o

no end of things for the work-people at the Osierfield. It is a pity th

e elect? It is often those who seem to be the farthest from the kingdom that are in truth the nearest to it." Mrs. Herbert had d

ly would be a splendid sort of person if he were only a Christian; and it seems such a

ung. I would advise you to turn to the thirteenth of First Corinthians, and see for yours

as a thing apart, and of treating it from an "in-another-department-if-you-please" point of view;

ired for her; and she will enter it, not on sufferance, but as one of themselves. I can not tell you what a pleasure it is to Mr. Herbert and myself to think of our beloved daughter as a regular county lady; it quite makes up for all the little self-denials

world was praising her for doing well to herself. "I can not think how a clever man like Alan ever

man's falling in love with you, darling, you

is so different

she made a note of it to report to Christopher afterwa

adfully afraid that he will be disappointed in me when he gets to know me bet

a man living that would really

and you, of course, aren't a millionth part as clever as Alan. And then he has such grand thoughts, too; he is always wanting to help other people, and

rs that have been within our reach are neve

er that he was at a premium; when she found she could do without him, she did. As for him, he loyally refrained from blaming Elisabeth, even in his heart, and cursed Fate instead; which really was unfair of him, considering that in this matter Elisabeth, and not Fate, was entirely to blame. But Christopher was always ready to find excuses for Elisabeth, whatever she might d

ust as it is difficult for them to believe that a train is going direct to the place appointed to it in Bradshaw, until they have been verbally assured upon the point by two guards, six porters, and a newspaper boy. Ne

h her at the Moat House; and Elisabeth smiled to herself-and to Christopher-

hem as carefully as if she were sending them to the wash. You'll find there won't be a single one omitted-not even the second

s always ready for Elisabeth's feeblest sallies, "to draw the good soul out fo

iled to you in chronological order; you have but to whisper the word 'clothes,' and the iniquities of her dressmaker's bill are laid bare before your eyes. Should the conversation glance upon Mr. Herbert, his complete biography becomes your own possession; and should the

e perceptions. I am frequently struc

outpourings on Felicia's happiness; when I come back I expect I shall be able to

to be less sure of her own buoyant strength, and less certain of her ultimate success in everything she undertook; and, if it did, he felt that he should have an ugly account to settle with life. He was willing for Fate to knock him about as much and as hardly as she pleased, provided she would let Elisabeth alone, and allow the girl to go on believing in herself and enjoying herself as s

out driving with her husband; and, to Elisabeth's surprise, there was no sign of the jubila

he said, kissing Elisabeth; "it is lo

lonely all by themselves in pleasures and palaces. I expect they do, but they put up with the loneliness for th

ul place," agreed Mrs

re reserved with Elisabeth; she was often amazed at the rapidity with which they opened their inmost hearts to her. Probably this accoun

ainst my principles to own it, because I do so hate the autumn. I wish we could change our four seasons for two springs and two summers. I am so happy in the summer, and still

are pretty-ver

I wanted you to see Felicia's home at its very best; and, a

ed a most beautiful home, and I am sure

any impossible ideal of a husband as she is with Alan; I should want to quarrel with him just for the fun of the thing, and to find out his faults for the

her light blue eyes filled with tears. "Oh! my dear," she

ed tragedy when she met it face to face; and she knew

m sure you are not very strong, and so your nerv

er-her mother who has worshipped her and toiled for her ever since she was a little baby? And I, who can read her thro

y, for her quick insight told her that Mrs. H

first they are married, and seem to regard marriage as a special invention and prerogative of

I thought that no unmarried woman knew anything, and that no married woman knew anything but myself; but, as you say, I soon grew out of that. Why, I was quite ready, after I had been marrie

hat Felicia is like that

ady Patchingham's visit, and Felicia said, 'Mamma won't go with us to-day, Alan dear, because the wind is in the east, and it always gives her a cold to drive in an open carriage when the wind is in the east'? Oh! I saw plain enough that she didn't want me to go wit

she wisely said nothing, but took Mrs

ng Felicia to marry a man who is not a t

r the sake of punishing. He has to train us, and the training hurts

e into the counsels of the Almighty. But I did it for the

sure y

, and introduced to second-rate people; and I longed and prayed that my darling Felicia should be spared the misery and the humiliation which I had had to undergo. You won't understand it, Elisabeth. People in a good position never do;

s; and Mrs. Herbert, encouraged b

dies overlook her as they had so often overlooked me. So when Alan wanted to marry her, and make her into a fine lady herself, I was overwhelmed with joy; and I felt I no longer minded what I had gone th

and; and God un

hink He is punish

ng Felicia-and perhaps yo

ave us a moment's trouble or anxiety. Then we pinched and pared in order to be able to afford to send her to Fox How; and when her education was finished there wasn't a more perfect lady in the land than our Felicia. Oh! I was proud of her

doing it to punish you, dear; believe me, He isn't. Why, even the ordinary human beings who are fond of us want to cure our faults and not to punish them," she continued, as the memory of Christopher's unfailing patience with her suddenly came into her mind, and s

in some measure to understand the love of the God Whom we

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