Today would mark the third time of going to the dirty post office to see if I’ve received a letter of admission from universi

Not just because I wanted to run away from home, I couldn’t stand bearing the shame of Nne’s silent gaze at me at eve

lu market, my ride to the post office was smooth and peaceful. The gentle breeze blew above the busy sands, trees dancing and whistling the tune of nature’s harmony. While some hands and legs hurrying here

ted the man at the post of

ng. He took some seconds and realizing I wasn’t a familiar face, he threw away

I hel

and was told to come today to check i

ould be home bathing in the fruitfulness of his children rather than working as a receptionist in a dirty place. It was common in government establishments, people not wa

as been sent,” he replied witho

ould help me check I’

as no use begging, government workers were all the same; lazy and inconsidera

” it sounded so

e or rush to embrace. It was who I least expected, n

e otherwise. It was no coincidence her coming today, twice I had come to check for my letter of admission but she didn’t. I had stopped expecting she would show

n answered wit

. All I knew was that she had greeted him and he replied. The man while still s

Please when he comes back; tel

you’re welcome

with two letters in his hands. I took mine and tore the envelope apart while stealing

d. The old man did, but I didn’t care. From the smile on her face as she read her lett

---------

se our awkward silence grew as we went further. I almost wanted to hold her by the hand and squeeze her palms out of excitement, but I dear not, her firm beauteous and disciplin

e your name.” I began

you gain access to your letter. W

ld have easily done that,” I r

n’t,” she sa

e about to escape my mouth. I realized it w

ual. Will you be so kind to

e road, in a manner that suggested she liked my gentlemanly asking. I had cop

is Ivie

t was all

wowing

re you must have heard a thousand guys say that to you and

. I didn’t know where I got the boldness to say those words but I did, and it

ave to come back another day,” I said, h

gest

r, and here I was, when it mattered most, I couldn’t deliver. She swiveled to look at me occasionally, then would grin and s

ecause she kept looking at me and turning away her ga

w what I told th

n your native tongue and a

ey were smooth and poised, adorable to the eyes and pleasing to the mouth. My eyes we

just released from the asylum a month b

ha

to hear her repeat herself. We both

ntinued, “I must

welcome

other for years. She possess a certain kind of allure which is spell bounding

anged the look on her face. At that moment, I felt like the ground should open up and swallow my stupidity but it didn’t, inst

apologetically. “I sho

d,” was her

she didn’t cast a gaze at me. People passing could immediately guess the scenario, but I didn’t care

sly and it blew some strands of her hair to my face. I felt the taste in my mo

I let go her hand. She walked further without uttering a word neither did she look back. I placed my

me place in tw

pening my eyes that she twirled back and walked away. I didn’t know if to be happy or

---------

t stop pumping excitement into me. I kept remembering her laughter like she was still laughing. I wanted to live in such moment again, but I needed to recreate it. How? Ndidi. She would help me; first she was a girl and second was experience

nly to open the door and see Nna, Nne, and Igbane sitting motionless with anger painted deep in their eyes, and my sister standing

ed voice. That only meant I was in trouble, yet co

tive tongue as my feet hurried fo

in the afterno

the mood for language spea

w about your sis

already crumbling world, and if I claim to know, I would share in whatever trouble she was in. I wanted to

u!”Nna

a distance,” I lied. I

th her hand on her head, “Th

let me handle this,

ibe is h

man, his broth

was twirling and hands flying like the wings

he palace and report

uld just be swept under their r

what he did,” Igbane was sounding more aggressi

ply and folded his hand looking ready to wound somebody. I wanted to ask what was

thing we say or do would put us in trouble, one worse than it seems.

erated. “What h

I was a culprit in whatever must have happene

man friend, and then bea

---------

testing. Nna wasn’t going to be a grandfather to a child from a rape incident. Nne was more co

han such a bite. I could imagine how she was feeling at the moment, every fun memory she had of the assumed love would become pictures of regret been scrolled

ad listene

and so wa

I ignored lik

ugh to bring back the dead has suddenly faded. I sympathized with her even though I felt she had it coming. She had no reason to listen to her elder brother who gave her three years distance in age; to her

e and the one person I knew could help me was in a throbbing of her own and I still wanted to

lled as I ope

ce,” she didn’t look back so I continued. “I need you to tea

she finally said in a crack

were in my shoe you would know how it feels,” I

and know how it f

am in love and true love is selfish,” I spoke

she pondered on the word

d, “it’s the pa

ov

, an idea just hit me. No, it wasn’t an idea it was

---------

posite them trying to concentrate on my ironing. I was preparing to meet Ivie tomo

ut mid-west democrati

ted in the politics of

nly way to effect that change is if you are a part of it. I’m tired of people s

with pride in his words, though I wasn’t sur

nd commanded me to sit. I obeyed and was forced to listen to their

You can say they are a western minority ethnic group born ou

his jaw. “They must be small and the reason for for

oke. “It was the first state to be created in this country and by a c

-west independence,” Igbane mentioned them proudly but forgot to mention the likes of Jereton Marierie and Jame

ork hard enough, your name will be mentioned to the unborn gener

to the door hoping it was Nne knocking, though I was sure it wasn’t, her kn

r day. Their presence meant that my ears won't be crowded with Nna’s political nonsense, yet I was displeased beca

opened the door wide open and gestured they come in be

ed and started for his room, I did also only I didn’t go into my room, I hid behi

’m surprised to see you,” N

ere,” said Mr. Hakim, the shor

coming would have been no surprise,” added Mr. Shehu. H

nothing would make me act otherwise. I am an upright citiz

sing your miracle job?” Mr. Sh

do it,” Nna r

It was a heavy and impatient bang. I didn’t wait for my name to be called

ht from the market. The men on seeing her stood to their feet

y seem, not all miracles are heaven

---------

reatened. People didn’t seem to be bothered by the power tussle in the at

“Some things are not always what they seem, not all miracles are heaven made, some are man-made.” I couldn’t help to think that he was referring to Nna’s supposed miracle job. Even N

of six figures to import more cars into the country. That was too large an amount for Nna to cast a blind eye. Nne didn’t say that to him, but I’m sure the thought had o

he bus shadow was no more to be seen. I headed straight to the spot we chatted the last ti

self, “could she have changed her mind

to meet there, plus she had no business to be there. I still wanted to be sure, I

re. My anxiousness for the day’s meeting was already wearing out. I still wasn’t willing t

of her voice, every worry and anger I was beginning to feel melted into the ai

d to say angrily, but instead, with a soft smile that could

ng bad yourself,”

d the manner in which to say what to say. I thought of telling her about the unfortunate mishap that h

say, she asked “What did your parents d

I was. I guess because it is long o

be ambivalent. They didn’t like it and clea

which parent would d

answered without emotion in her voice

eath the eye shadow, for the first time I could see the blood in her eyes, the ice in her veins, felt the pain in her heart yet somewhere there was love. It

she said. I could feel

I replie

that?” she aske

ust

words neither the boldness was coming from, “I want

I said what I said. She threw away her face, stared into the air for some seconds t

you barely even receive love no

w how to give it most, because they kn

hat you say?”

said, fixing m

esses, it was reassuring, and it was comforting. She used her left hand to gently

ted more but then she stood to

o we se

she whispered in

meet to

I will be busy. Let’s

e by

ed her walked away wishing she had ki

---------

was too scared to peep through the window and see my street in its silent moment. I didn’t

al and from her heart, or was it just an act she put up to bring a beautiful end to her pain in which I had soaked in? At other times, it was me marveling over her. She wears a façade beneath the agon

There is time enough to gather the money, resumption is till next year

the morning was without meaning, I had only one thing on my mind and that was to have a man to man discussion with my father

to the house to learn that Ndidi had gone to her catering school, Nne, maybe to the market or to gossip, and I was

he had a routine. He took his bath every day as early as 8:00 am and then called on Nne for his food. Actually, he called on her before bathing to enquire what he would eat. Less than an hour after noon, he was calling on her again, and then when dark

him contemplating how I would begin. One time in primary school, we were to have two excursions in the same term. To him and Nne it was unnecessary but to I and my sister it wasn’t. We finally conquered the fear and as

egan, garner

g up. He swallowed every spoon wi

er loud microphone voice shouting “They have come o!” around the compound. Nna stopped eating, lifted up

g Igbane and Ndidi like babies who just found their footing. Iya

are the

t you go outside and find ou

he street and as a typical Yoruba woman she is, Iya Ro

have c

ile on my lips. I opened the door wide for Nne to run inside with her chicks knowing there could only be one thing that has come, it’s

---------

power. The excuse of the military having taken over in the first place was to bring back normalcy and reconst

that her brother in the military didn’t tell her anything this time around because he was sleeping on duty when the operatio

nsion in this country and especially for the Igb

n’t my thing. I couldn’t say same for Igbane. Fear crept into the living Igbo communities. I especially wondered how life

ed about it. Instead, thoughts of meeting with Ivie crowned my he

nment has a message to pass across, but this time around, nothing. It was unlike the first coup when the coup plotters made several spe

to the gate unnoticed, opened it silently and with all carefulness ran as fast as I could down

---------

o the post office and didn’t come across more than three persons. There was no sit at home order given, this was self-imposed. The fea

he more it seemed like I was involved in an affair that entailed secrecy, the idea of such mystery began to make sense to me. It ma

it. As the hour went by, it became clearer she wouldn’t come but I wasn’t willing to give up, at least not just yet. I didn’t know what to think, I

---------

y appear, but that hope faded with every passing wait, but that wasn’t the only thing that changed. First it was Nna. Every morning he would take his bath as usual but instead of heading out for the office, he'd come out of

ger ate yam and egg, the egg was substituted for palm oil, even the oil was fried so it would spread around our plate just in case it didn’t go round the yam, that’s if the yam were ever enough. The meat on our plate of food reduced from one big piece to something I couldn’t measure, but Igbane says it’

the village. It was from Nna’s parent; they wanted to come and spe

chance,” Nne begged, “You can’

ther unmoved by her plea, “It’s my ch

n’t you

Have you eaten two square meals a day that yo

last heard from them, I o

learnt one new word from your gossip center an

didn’t like his choice of wife and so he ran away with her, eloping to Benin City where I and my siblings were born. Somehow, I think

---------

ing up and Igbo’s residing in the north was being massacred. That was the beginning of the rumors of retaliation

ve tried to usurp power in the first place. He argues that they are no bett

ready happening. Of late, he got into argument with almost everybody who cared to argue, and this was a

e pointless because shouting alone makes you lose; it’s the quiet one

it is foolish to argue,” he added. I laughed forcefully knowing very well he was referring to Nna. I shouldn’t have, but

hey both sat outside discussing, at least that’s what

between the east and the north,” Mr. OyIgbo

irst place?” Nna asked. “Why begin a fight that you can’t win? Do they think the B

massacres can lead to a civil w

and that’s the path the governor general of

his menacing remarks against the federal milita

the military government is

so?” Mr.

ly from this creation. Their aim is to isolate the east totally from the oil

just said. There was sense in it, even though a

njoying the sounds of it. I have a feeling Nna missed coming from work to take his bath, then tie his wrapper around his waist and ask for his food to be ser

hat if they know him as they claim, they would know that his decision is sacrosanct, that after all they have done their worse. You should have seen the look

ch stance, and lazy because now that he was facing the consequences, he was too lazy to look for work elsewhere. Not that he'd find any in the government establishment, his name has been blacked out, but he was