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Chapter 3 HOW A GOLDEN CALF WAS SET UP, AND NOBBY SHOWED HIMSELF A TRUE PROPHET

Word Count: 6859    |    Released on: 06/12/2017

the Antoinette ring we had given her to commemorate the feat was now for the f

it," said Daphne.

ted my

, "I could share

ou haven't

about a piece of furniture or a jewel or a picture, I should

a frock. I keep a special indulgent smile for the incoherence inspired by a h

aid Adèle. "Besides, ther

" said I. "I li

Jill. "They had the most lovely sh

, "says that ugly word

a very beautiful morning,

ed, leaving the great sky flawless, an atmosphere so rare as tempted shy Distan

even thousand feet, as mountains go, is nothing wonderful. There is no might nor majesty about them-distant some thirty odd miles. They are just

eyes to find the summits. But yesterday you marvelled at their stablishment; this morning they will be floating above the world. One week the clear-cut beauty of their lines and curves gladdens your heart; the next, a mocking mystery of soft blurred battlements will tease your vision.

they had put on in the night-it

pened to a

ace and the silence in which he to

matter. We knew. Big with the knowledg

ceived h

e this," he said shor

hed, and Jill put

t is," said Daphne.

as Adèle's. So was Jill's. By the time you thre

omes in. The agent was at some pains t

white-hot, and was generally about the finest labour-wasting device ever invented, he'd 've been nearer the

's all it needs. You haven

brother-in-law attacked a r

box?" said Ji

evil you. Until you've put ten centimes in the m

to shake w

done something

ugged his

fit, you can't go wrong. But it's a strain on one's sanity....

to apply

ent showed

you place in the slot. Then you go out again and try to remember where you put the matches. By the time you're back, the whole room is full of gas, so you open the window wide and clean your teeth to fill up the time. Long before it's safe you strike another match. The thing lights with an explosion that shortens your lif

ded. "I admit no rocks were discharged-at least, I didn't see any. There may be some in the bath. I didn't wait to look.... Blinded by the steam, deafened by the noise, you make a rush for the door. This seems to have been moved. You feel all over the walls, like a madman. In the frenzy of

running dow

the dressing-room," waile

id Berry. "It

ust have it

I interposed. "N

ested that the facts should be laid before the Sea

, "if you want me to beco

a shriek o

id Daphne, "or we shal

ularly want

was the possessor o

t of the year, and when we learned that she had already spent six months in the Pyrenees, and would be at Pau all the winter, we could hardly believe our ears. Her little son, it appeared, had been ailing, and

't smell so sweet; but the sun's a godsend-I've never seen it before-and the air makes me want to shout. Oh, I've got a lot to

lad of Sarah-

calf, which our womenkind were worship

e prophet's name, Jonah an

did both sides at once or one after the other.' With my mind running on baths, I said they probably began on their feet and washed upwards. By the time the misunderstanding had been cleared up, I was thoroughly awake and rem

gnation succeede

r had bee

er 'll be back with some more things next month, and she's

aid Jonah, "how a sai

o ask him to stay here. Then he can have a bath in

*

ayer only when it is uncourted, Jill cracked her b

that," sa

ed his eye

on. She put me dead on the green at the thirteenth, and I holed out. When I turned round to say we were three up

" protested Jill, "and you must a

ed?" said Ad

ch more interested in the former, and actuall

d to the

addressin

op it,"

n topping t

believe there's a lark's nest do

u are," s

"I'm dead cer

the right," said Jill. "A

our word for

ole my grey-eyed cousin discovered that our cad

for the c

istmas," said Adèle.

aid I. "It's almost

ht have been a

lash spoke of the sunlit peaks and the dead march of snow; and there, a league away, grey Pau was basking contentedly, her decent crinoline of villas billowing about her sides, laz

esents," continued my wife

roa

sted. "And people don't expect present

friends consider that it's a chance in a lifetime,

said I. "So that's that. And you

before we were engaged. That

o my cousins

your brother-in-law led off like an ox to the shambles-he's there now-financially crippled, and then compelled to tie up and address i

rother's, patted his hand affe

sweetly, "I'll lend you my ox.

mething to do up first

ri

to my foreboding

down to

vixen and I have spen

teen shops and bought t

subsequently dropped t

're actually

the Place Roya

knew was either going in or coming

a gust o

pavement?" w

. Said it was written, and it was no good fighting against Fate, and that he'd rather wash his hands of it than after it, and that sort of stuff. Then Nobby beg

of Le Temps, and, without that, Fitch couldn't have moved. As it was, one sheet made a shroud, another a

reserve turned an indifferent success into a howling f

" said Daphne. "It isn't th

y emphatically,

if we go on long enough,

n. After we've done another twelve shops without buying anything, we're going to h

" said Jill, "she could

," said Adèle, "we might be able

id Jonah. "What was

ich had announced Sarah Featherstone's departure from Pa

y. I've told the Marats that if Planchet (the sailor who sold me the shawl, etc.) turns up before I get back, he

've gone through this morning, if Planchet were to totter in this afternoon, la

d I, "are

at. I believe they're wonderful. Sally say

, twittering, "they do

an't answer for the man, because we didn

chet our address, but it's quite another persuading

It's too much to expect him to have another shawl

garded h

l the blinkin' presents with which you propose to signalis

ifts will cost us more, but

," sai

d to give Planchet three days in which to make his appearance, and that, if he

dy to take the air by the simple expedient of proceeding at a hig

dual, madam, 'as c

? Is it P

m, but 'e 'as this address upon a

, Falcon,

information which was his due, and at the same time, like a juggler of many parts, to keep the balls of Dignity and Courtesy rolling, had been overheard, and had aff

Jill and Adèle

time to see our visitor precede the S

ieks, curses, and a copy of La Fontaine's Fables were hurled simultaneously and in vain at our favourite, and it was Berry, to whom the fear of fu

under his arm, and apologising to his guest, the latter wide-eyed, something out of breath, and anything but easy, and Nobby apparently t

trio dr

y. "He's brought some things for us to

s we trooped back

r Planchet's hireling staggered into the hall, a gigantic

was held in t

chalant air which has, from time immemorial, ado

of direct action adopted by the terrier, had not only betrayed, but emphasised, the fact that the sailor's arrival was very much to our taste. C

ch was acknowledged with sundry nods and inaudible assurances-the latter, so

h a truly exquisite rug and flung it dexterously across a chair, my grey-eye

thing to be done,

rd for her reputation

tly. "Don't you think so?"

wallowed bef

ly gaudy," he

shoulders and began

say to decry the whole pack. By way of doing his or her bit, everybody decided to praise one or two to the implied condemnation of the remainder. In the absence of collusion, it was inevitable that those rugs which somebody had thus branded as goats should invariably include somebody else's s

across

here twice a ye

s so, M

get these thin

Mons

ich his ship touched. From Bordeaux he used to set out, and to Bordeaux he as regularly returned. An aunt dwelling at Pau was responsible for his selection of the town as a market for his goods. I should not have taken him for

den

ave you got?

een the coat of a proud mandarin, three Chinese mats, aged and flawless, a set of silken doilies-each one displaying

nt down befor

d, one and all, dropped our ma

, that rug on the chair's a devilish fine one." "They all are." "Yes, but that-my dear fellow, it's the sort of rug they put in the window and refuse to sell, because

who pulled th

e of this rug?"

expectant and

sh we had called the t

exorbitant, we had on

hesitat

red francs

po

have heard

e we should have been asked a hundred. If this was typic

il and picked up

her rugs?"

price, M

gs wen

ment, the prices of the other valuab

ted up the figures-eight t

the paper

got enough at the bank here, and you ca

ght

rt with them all at on

better

led very

very much," she said. "May w

inclined

dame p

ame to it, and making him confirm the price. When we had finished, I insisted upon him check

oning was ove

h

"we'd have to pay much mo

med on

pread out

btain more from the merchants. I know them. They a

You don't mi

ue, Mon

e. We haven't so much

y the big brown eyes turned from m

ar and get the money. He's probably had a dud cheque some time or other. Anyway,

ntention to Planchet, the latter seemed greatly relieved. It was not, he explained volub

give the chauffeu

said Daphne, "you brou

herstone

tfully. Then his face l

er it. It was very fine. I h

caught h

r s

nd Jill clasped one another.

fort Daphne contro

e to have a look

inclined

w morning

was now no occasion for him to wait for his money, and, thanking us profusely for our patronage

ratulation, amicable bickering with regard to the precise order of precedence in which an antiquary would place our acquisitions, and bre

Berry, "what abo

or?" sa

nd them through the

tone of one who repeats a blasphemy, "you don't i

oked rou

you're going to k

we are," sa

all o

ster

ngle one,

lay back in his chair and drumme

ole roomful of luxuries, not one of which, in the ordinary way, we should have dreamed of purchasing, not one of which we requi

!" cri

quaintance with infuriated shopkeepers forced upon me this morning. It's crue

he man had absolutely nothing that

husband. "I haven't p

mean by 'done f

ent one of those rugs to someone for C

y si

for sixty pounds. As it is, I shall have to give up paying my tailor again, and what with Lent coming on..." Wearily he ro

things can be our Christma

ghed hyst

"And how generous! I shall always treasure

otion he stepped

obby was still imprisoned, and I

the door, I heard

imply pining to

*

mbroidery I have ever seen passed into our possession in retu

d and smiled at you out of those wonderful flowers. There never was such a show. Daring walked delicately. Daintiness was become bold. Those that wrought the marvel-for so magnificent an artifice was never the work of one man-were painters bor

evidence of faultless labour-was three feet deep, and while the whole shawl could hav

Berry, Jonah, and myself, we humbly withdrew such adverse criticism as we had levelle

on that stiffened into resolution an uneasy feelin

hree of Planchet upon his last visit, and those we had just purchased would bring her set up to six. Lest

*

was over

ed States, with the density of a male I ventured to point out that upon the day which my wife's presents were intended to enrich, all of them would indubitably be lying in the custody of the French postal authorities. Thereupon it was gently explained to me that, so long as a parcel had been obviously posted before Christmas, its contents were always considered to have arrived "

in front of you-each with two or more packages to be registered-when there is only one registration clerk, when mental arithmetic is not that clerk's forte, when it is the local custom invariably to question the accuracy first of the postage dem

f, however, with which

atoned for e

stmas was ov

n with a truly French explosi

ins, who were upon the links, we were proceeding gingerly down the Rue du Lycé

ne stepping towards us across the

dickey, and Adèle and D

ollowe

id Daphne, "I never

rning," panted Sally. "

three hours

ce you've been away, Planchet's been. He's sold us the most lovely thi

ally, "insure them to-day. I've just b

aphne. "D'you mean to

s gone and the place stripped. Of course, the furniture belonging to the flat's

hings you got

. "Shawl and everyth

cried Adèle. "But who

ra

ver her shoulder. "I've just been to the police

said Berry, "you know

don't see what there is to be done. As far as I can make out, t

er saw the goods, but, if they were anything l

therston

the shawl home to show George, and then, in the rush at the last, I left it

ow yo

I show you those Chinese mats I was so crazy about? Well, after they'd gone, I s

we looked a

h

ent you the mats as a Christmas present." Sally knitted her brows. "They're not yours. We bought them from P

stared

uld have

was because they were such

e did he

o me, and I turned to c

d I looked at one anoth

hne and Adèle were recitin

e heard them out

said, "does Plan

aphne's tur

tened

own eyes, nervous manner, scar on the

ead out h

fe," she s

a dreadf

len

Owner going abroad.' Marat was with you when you bo

and began to shake wi

at her as i

rd attempt

at treacherous drawlatch away, not only empty, but with the modern equivalent of a flea in his ear, I could writhe. When I reflect that it was I who supported the swine's predilection for hard cash, I could scream. But when I remember that ever since our

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