Jonah and Co.

aid Berry. The suggesti

nd 'One,' make your mind a blank-that shouldn't be difficult-realise that the agony

go. I'll write to you when I want you

ar me! Half-past ten, and I haven't had my beer yet." He stepped to the door. "Should

fairly bundled him

n the bed, Adèle laid

y better,

g it up's done that. But I'm in for a stiff leg, dear. I know t

e-much less proximity-thanks to the poor lighting of Boulogne, I had been totally unaware. I had been kicked upon the same knee in 1916

tick, but I shan't be able to drive. And, as Jonah can't drive

started, and Jill

e's only had t

fe, of course, but what else can we do? Even if Fitch was here, there's no room f

nger to her lips, m

he's the only husband I've got, Boy, and-he has his p

a hand and dre

darling? Isn't he-Berry? I'

ly think

be able to reach the hand-brake r

ter ki

d of that," she

of November, and all

ene

place good, conceived the idea of spending the winter there, and wir

t was fr

E DA

ria. We miss you awfully. Tell Boy Nobby is splendid and sends his love. Oh, and he smells his coat every day. I

I

ame Jo

R B

ding you a hundred cigarettes conspicuously labelled BENGER'S FOOD, to

s, J

tom-house. Adèle was horrified. I endeavoured to reassure her, tore up the notice, and cursed my cousin savagely. When three days had passed, and I was still at

aphne had arriv

EST

elighted wi

to expect. About servants: we can bring some, but I think we ought to have a French cook to do the marketing, and perhaps one other to keep her company and help in the kitchen and house. Will you see what you can do? Plate

ng sister

s came

BRO

ill shine. Ma foi, to think that upon you depend all the arrangements. Tant pis! My suite must face itself so

ns of the Pyrenees" by a fool who has been married for less than three weeks

s the shrew? Tell her I have some s

y hope you will succumb, will be over before I reach Pau. I am inclined to think that the five hundred cigars

iestess of Gluttony-skilful to lure the timid a

ave, of course, an opportunity unique of making a mess with a copper

ieil haricot, su

E

and should be worn upon the exterior

ommanding a prospect of the mountains as fine as could be. Adèle had engaged a Frenchwoman and her daughter, both of whom were well spoken of, and had been in the service of Eng

thing had been arranged. The heavier stuff had been embarked for Bordeaux; the servants were ready to accompany the rest of the luggage by way of Paris; the Rolls had been sold. In the latter's place we had purchased two smaller cars-both new, both of the same

sin's staff work

d be faced with the labour of shepherding both cars, single-handed, first clear of the Customs, and

had read m

aid Adèle sudde

the door in

ggage, two waiters, a large dish of sandwiches, some be

chair. "And how's the comic patella? I well remember, when I was in Plumbago,

re than with your past. It's the Bank of England to a ha'p'orth of figs that to-morrow morning I shall have a

lently and spilled some beer. Then he leaned

erry reg

tomobiles-that, while you will be responsible for the 'shoving' of Ping, these delicate hands will flick Pong across France. Very good. Let the P

der, but, if your companions survive the first two days, they ought to pull throug

"The professional reviles

id I, "it's no

ng all the way. After all, we've got six months to get

er husband. "Should an

and go and hide in a

' of course. You know I did. Promise you won't try

up the

ifty miles behind a traction-engine, would you? Remember, I shall be by his side. He may be holdin

id Jill. "You will

r looked

cribe to my humil

iled and

time you get to Pau, you'll be an

close the throttle,' or something. It makes me want to burst into tears. That fellow who was teaching me asked me, without any warning and in the middle of some sheep, what I should do if one of my 'big ends were to

aphne reproachfully. "If I'd kno

ped.... We stopped, of course, and explained. He was a lit

," said my sister,

ing. "He won't do it again. And now, since I'

ere supper

igh speculations regarding the probable style of our progress to Pau, prevailed until past twelve o'cl

of a hot bath Adèle's voice c

oy

, la

with you to-morrow

" I said

sighed

"I think, on the whole, she woul

eerfully. "As she said, Berry'

oked. Pr

because she mistrusts her husba

d worked

said pl

said Adèle, "she's be

*

re accurately, we left the hotel at ten o'clock and Boulogne itself some forty minutes lat

hen he stopped the engine for the first time. We were still half-way up when he stopped it for the eighth tim

in-law shoo

backwards and begin

I have a foolish prefer

could push it

. You see, she weighs over

eared hi

what I do wrong, because I know the answer. It's not the

," sa

No man born of woman could let in that clutch more slowly, and yet you

l fail. Then every time you stop the engine you'll

burst my brains with thinking?" Daphne began to laugh helplessly. "That's right," added her husband savagely. "See the h

s, he applied the hand-brake with unnecessary vio

to one another in an a

losed h

with a drawn sword, and the car sees it, although we can't. Any way, I'm not going to fight against Fate. And now don't speak to me. I'm goi

g drew up alongside. F

Jonah peered a

d the latter

apparition has appeared to us, warning us not to p

id you're for it. Unless you take us

opened his door and des

we were at the

the Michelin Guide open upon

w was breathing through his nose less audibly, I

e distance as though it were indeed that long, long lane that hath no turning. Presently a curve would come to save the face of the proverb, but the bends were few in num

ke a whirlwind before we were half-way to Samer. He explained afterwards that he had stuck it as long as he

laid hold of the wheel, and we t

n had begun was most apparent. There was a bleak look upon the country's face: birch-rods that had been poplars made us gaunt av

we came to

red the li

he headquarters of the

behind the

ht. And straight on. What a blessing this Michelin Guide is! Not too fast, Berry. Straight on. This ought to

we had to get to Rouen,

o overtake and pass a lorry upon the wrong side, drive an unsuspecting bicyclist into a ditch and swerve, like a drunken sea-gull, to avoid a dead fowl. As we were going over

breathed Daphne. "I'm

"At least, I'm still thirsty

ricated us from that impasse was little short of maste

e you," I said grimly, "bu

to read as were my sister's directions to follow. At a crit

brake, put out a hand, accelerate, sound the clarion and put the wheel over simultaneously. Now, with seven limbs I could have done it. With eight, I could also have scratched myself-an operation, I may say,

ad without actually retracing our steps was at length extracted, and, after a prolonged study of the plan, my sister gave the word to proceed. Save that we twic

ght to reach Rouen by half-past five, we ventured

fat bulls of Basan, in the shape of gigantic pot-holes, gaped threateningly upon us. Berry, who was driving much better, di

he flesh, and we were all thankful when we slid down a paved hill into the Cathedral

en awaiting us fo

*

id Adèle, "they oug

erry was almost certainly en

will," I said

an arm th

t of you to com

ill and lo

eak like that, I want to kick myself and burst i

" said Adèle

were standing beneath

hed

had been dull, and what light there was had been failing when

en early, we

the way of Babel. For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven. Windows the sun was lighting were at once more real and more magnificent. Crimsons and blues, purples and greens, yellows and violets, blazed with that ancient majesty which only lives to-day in the peal of a great organ, the call of a silver trumpet, or the proud roll of drums. Out of the gorgeous pageant mote-ridden rays issued

to contribute to a heated argum

e War, double it, add forty per cent. for the increased cost of living, halve it because of th

id Daphne, "what to

at's the equivalent of

a

ife. "Five francs is h

ead, and tell her you've hidden the rest in the bathroo

aid Jill uneasily, "it's

dreadful s

rst," said I, "

her rather a lot, but

id Berry. "I noticed that

" said I r

ed round

er fifty,

a shriek o

Berry. "Or try to ea

ill shook

n't follow her. And then she turned away an

e all," s

upported

oked at

art at eleven, then we shall fetc

s Tours?"

y-six

to-day," said Jill.

er shook

said, "to be arre

aid Berry. "We would

h si

will there's a

beneath our detachable wheels. You pollute the road with your

replied our cousi

scovers that I'm driving and bursts with

tifled

aid. "If we're to warn people not t

rded his f

ncture, won't you? And remember that my heart goes out to you in your ti

ormed out of the garage an

and she was travelling with Ber

ing this predilection. Upon the following day the dog's desire had been gratified, whereupon he had whined all the way to Chartres because he was apart from Adèle. Commenting upon this unsuspected devotion, Berry had been quite as outsp

rily obstructing two trams by the artless expedient of remaining motionless upon

ellent. Very soon we were flying. For all that,

a blue nose motioned to us to stop. Standing upon the near pavement, the fellow was at once con

led Berry, as he brought

oing to scrutinise our triptyque, passports, passes and certificates, to see if he can accuse us of anything. Happily they're all i

e about it," observe

p from the

g's eyes were still surveying the car. From his companion's

," said I. "Ask him

rd and put her hea

ished us to st

rme waved

e said in

sniggered

in her seat, her

with passion I conj

the official sprang forwar

him, I put

I said warmly, "to ma

himself with rage. Looking back through the little window, I could see him dancing. Sudde

g to telephone!" said

and I pored ove

moment I'm just blinding along into the blue and, for all I know, an oversized hornets' nest. Of course they

rn to the right at Cloyes and make for St. Calais. We can get round to

t show up at Vend?me,

espeare says, I'm

ty was soon mercifully, unmercifully, and somewhat paradoxically overshadowed by a more instant anxiety lest we should never arrive there at all. From the moment we left the main road, the obstacles in the shape of uncharted roads and villages, pavements, cattle, goats, a h

len ere we sl

arrived. Indeed, we had finished dinner, and were debating seriously whether we should take a hired car and go to seek them, wh

ry, advancing, "where

s about his neck and

,'" she said. "Jon

d stared a

" he said. "Dear, dear. An

cleared h

, to see Jona

ies," he said. "

ean?" said Adèle.

. "Done? Where d'yo

se I had all the goats. There was a great rally of goats at St.

n," said Jo

waiting for us on

ng warmer," w

ve a sud

he gasped, "you've

and Berry, who was ab

ce-station." He leaned against the mantelpiece and lighted a cigarette. "It may amuse you to know," h

hirsty enquiries, th

d an exact description of Pong, together with the letters and the first three figures of the four appeari

tres in eleven minutes. It was amazing ... almost incredible ... almost.... Of outlaws, however, all things were credible-even a speed of one hundred and thirty-six miles an hour. For it was without doubt that outlaw wh

xamined. As luck would have it, he could not speak to the passengers, beyond affirming that they included one man and one woman.... When he gratuitously

to give us away. They had, of course, realised that Pong was implicated from the beginning. Consequently, with the flourish of one who has hit upon the solution of a

realising, not only that they were to be denied an opportunity of refuting the charges preferred, but that they were destined to leave the town branded as three of the biggest and most unsuccessful liars ever

othing if n

had discreetly followed her cousin's example. Before the sledge-hammer blows of their lamentation two gen

wn his cheeks, he pushed the notes under a blotting-pad and wrote laboriously upon a buff sheet. Then a woman was produced. Between explosions of distress she made us some tea. In common decency we couldn't push off for a while. Besides, I wasn't quite sure that it was all over. However, everybody

t there wa

he end. Berry

ly, "and let this be a

ndignation, our c

len

u mean?" h

ised his

he penalty for-er-loitering w