the Rhine, and passed a month of Elysium before they came to L
s, who marries his hero and heroine, and then, instead of leaving them happy for life, and at
"Madam, did the more remarkable events of your life come to you before marriage or after?" Most of them will say "after," and let that be my excuse for treating the marriage of Christopher Staines and R
, and Staines, who was methodical and kept
ent a house, and furnish it, and live in it, until professional income shall flow in an
se adapted to his business. He found three or four at fair rents, neither cheap nor dear, the district being respectable and rather wealthy, but no longer fashionable. He came home with his notes, and found Rosa beaming
cried Rosa,
nation with a singular ardor, drawing their crests back like snakes, and then darting them forward and inflicting what, to the male philosoph
erything; he has just been looking out for a house. Ah! you have got all that over long ago: she has been married six months. Florry, you are handsom
and said, "I dare say you ladies ha
s," sa
and hunt ho
on him, "and such a fine man! Why, he must be six feet. Mine is rat
I want governing a little, and I like it-a
t at Brussels on our wedding tour:
"dearer" and "bett
your house,
ver saw a moire this shade before. I don't care
warded her
has seen one in Portman Street
"It is no use being a physician in those ou
st
general prac., and makes two thousand a year; and he shall call your one in; but he must live in Ma
to have a dear friend: and six months married, and knows thin
s the f
O
g word there was
her topics; and in those intervals, numerous though brief, the lady who had been married six months found time to instruct the matrimonial novice with great authority, and even a shade of pomposity. "My dear,
ust be the best wa
ayfair, and he shows you several, and recommen
t a word. And the train so beautifully shaped! Ah! it is only in Lon
hall, where his gratuitous patients might sit on benches; good dining-room where his superior patients
ver do; a physician must be in
at first starting-and you know they say li
d not yet said the hard word "no" to her, gave in; consoling his prudence with the reflection that, after all, Mr. Cole could
and partner went with them to several places. The rents of houses equal to that i
beyond the mark. "Very well," said t
ing for us. We don't want a large house
u will be sure
them to
r library, which opened on a square yard enclosed. Here were a great many pots, with flowers dead or dying from neglect. On the first floor a fair-
asies. "It is a
ng equal enthusiasm, after his fashion. "You c
he entrance to a mews; the back rooms all look into a mews: we shall have the eternal noise and smell of a mews. My wife's rest will be broken b
ease is property here: the gentleman i
, as boldly as a six years'
kind at a hundred and thirty pound
"The poor patients, wher
," suggested t
id Rosa,
or patients at a time: beggars musn't be choosers; if you give them physic gratis, that is enough: yo
d thenceforward giggled at intervals, wit of this re
rid little Bijou; and then the agent would show them the kitchen, and the new stov
them to eat it-in th
arger places to be had, by a very s
in Harewood Square. "One hundred and thirty poun
othing at all
too much fo
on his arm, with
really cannot give the premium, it is too ridicul
done wit
e a hundred pou
sible,
come and see the house at Harewood Squa
ith your address, doc
es, Morley
hey left
nice little place; and we have
is a great deal fo
oon have made that up to you:
ouse will n
inted, and half inclined to pout. But she vented her feelings in a l
take a good tenant at a moderate loss, than to let the Bijou be uninhabited during the present rainy season. An assignment of the lease-which
dinner was over, and the waiters go
the principal thing. I have saved two hundred pounds,
ose retentive memory had picked up a little of everything, said there were wholesale upholsterers in the City who sold cheaper than the West-end houses, and he thought the best way was to measure the rooms in the Bijou, and go
d Christopher he was the
is the mistake Johnnie and I made; and after that a friend of mine took me to the auction-rooms, and I saw everything sold-oh, such bargains; half, and less than half, their value. She has furnished her house almost enti
, "I should not like my wife
. Staines, they are too full of buying and
et me go with her. Am
n by beginning life in earnest. If you two ladies together can face an auction-room, go by all means; only I
ou come
r the Bijou is a small house; choose your furniture to fit
ale in Oxford Street on Fridays; and the
ful awhile, and at last said to Rosa, "I'll show you I don't
eyes sp
has wounded me deeply; he has wounded me through my wife.
u never showed
kept an affront from you; but
Chri
of many kind acts comes back to me; and I don't know what to do. I
won't hate us forever, if he sees us often. We m
He kissed her, begged her to put on the plainest dress s
rtman Square, Rosa's heart began to quake, and she
d she persuaded Christopher to take h
ed them to employ him in the morning. Dr. Staines declined their services civilly but firmly
listened in cold, satirical silence, and told his wife, in French, to do the same. Notwithstanding their marked disgust, the impudent, in
row," said Christopher, "or I shall h
em to the right-about. S
money and receive the lease of the Bijou, and this and the taking p
nd Mrs. Cole had gon
he table. At the head of this table-full twenty feet long-was the auctioneer's pulpit
, and so evaded the human waves her leader clove. They were importuned at every step by brokers thrusting catalogues on them, wit
er veil, but Mrs. Cole surve
her his catalogue. "No, thank you," said Rosa; "I have one;" and she pr
by their cleanly appearance: the dealers, male or female, were more or less rusty, greasy, dirty, aquiline. Not even the amateurs were brightly d
ur saucepans, two trays, a kettl
or five to a fat old woman in a greasy velvet jacket; blind ind
the auctioneer to his clerk
her dirty hands and nails with innocent dismay. "Oh, what a dreadful creature!" she whispered; "and what can she want with those old rubbishy things? I s
ll you?" sai
and six very neat bedroom chairs were sol
al, and Rosa hazarded a
hat gathered round each lot as it came to the
en," sa
," said t
the broker behind her. "
ly, and addressed herself to Mrs. Cole. "Why should I giv
. However, the broker gave her a very different solution; he said, "The trade always ru
eply, but look
lady; "you had much bet
"you can bid for this
d early and ostentatiously; the article was protected by somebody or other there present, who now of course saw his way c
he wanted was a
ht pounds; then she said,
they are a great bargain;" and bid anothe
give any more. She lost them, accordingly, by good luck
ham, being artful and exciting, and the traitor she employed constantly puffing e
, as they ought to be, on the spot. He signalled a confederate with a hooked nose; the Jew rascal bid agains
bought away like wildfire. In which sport she caught sight of an
Why does he twinkle so? I can see it is at m
eman. Would you believe it? instead of sinking through the f
him, the black eyes twinkled, and Rosa's courage began to ooze away. At last
er asked her for no deposit; her beautiful, innocent, and high-bred face
they
s loiter at the door of a jail, with the order of release in its hand, after six years' confinement. Getting up to go quenches in it the desire to go. So these ladies ha
d leather-and two arm-chairs, for twenty pounds, when, casting his eyes around, he caught sight of Rosa looking at him rather excited.
o," cried
" said the
ith the ha
e hammer,
God, we wa
irmed this pious falsehood, and c
up your mind a little quicker next time, Mr. Isaacs; you have
ock when they reached Morley's. As they came near the door of their sitting-room, Mrs. Staines heard somebody laughing and talking to her husband. The laugh, to her subtle ears, did not sound mus
ied the old gentleman
and felt guilty somehow
r. Staines, "this i
pale by turns; for she had a great
tion-room, sir?" sai
madam.
hing a
but it is not to buy-I enjoy the humors. D
isn't he? Discovered the Ni
of the bargemen. Now there are no bargemen left to speak of; the mantle of Bobby Burton's bargees has fallen on the Jews and demi-semi-Christians that buy and sell furniture at the weekly auctions; thither I repair to hear what little coarse wit is left us. Used to go to the House of Commons; but they are getting too civil by half for my money. Besides, characters come out in an auction. For
began to wor
e another, over their victim's head, and ran everything she wanted up at least a hundred per cent above the
oing to her husband, hiding her hea
of the world all in a moment? If it is my wife you are laughing at, Uncle Philip, let me tell you this is the wrong place. I'
scoundrel five per cent to make you pay a hundred per cent? Why pay a noisy fool a farthing to open his mouth for you when you have taken t
d Christopher, firing up; "because sneering at my R
m very foolish and inexperienced, but I am not so vain as to t
smiled and lo
she found Christopher telling his uncle all about the Bijou, and how he had taken it for a hu
t is a name they gave to a little den in Dear Street, Mayfai
ned. "That is th
the wind to foreign parts less odoriferous. I'd have got you the hole for ninety; but you are like your wife-you must go to an agent. What! don't you know that an agent is a man acting for you with an interest opposed to yours? Employing an agent! it is like a Trojan seeking the aid of a Greek. You needn't cry, Mrs. Staines; your husband has been let in deeper than you have. Now, you are young people beginning lif
, leaving the young couple fi
, "Never mind; experience is worth money, and it always has to be bought. Those who cheat us will die poorer than we shall, if we are honest and economical. I have
married to A MAN. A man sees the best side. I do adore men. Deares
y, you will go to the very next. Only take Uncle Philip's advice, employ no bro
nd thanked him for giving her another trial. So th
y miasma; so he had the drains all up, and actually found brick drains, and a cesspool. He stopped that up, and laid down new pipe drains, with a good fall, and properly trapped. The old drains were hid
pense one avoids by buying at a shop, and the broker claimed his shilling in the pound. This, however, Staines refused. The man came and blustered. Rosa, who was there, trembled. Then, for the first time, she saw her husband's brow lower; he seemed transfigured, and looked terrible. "You scoundrel," said he,
the law,
he seized him with a grasp so tremendous that the fellow
ngry Hercules, and the man was literally whirled out of sight with a rapidity and swiftness almost ludicrous; it was like a trick in a pantomime. A cl
, and his eyes like hot coals; but his wife threw her tend
embling li
rgot YOU, in my righteous indignation." Next he became uxorious. "Did they frighten her, a d
gy. "You must not think that I am passionate; on the contrary, I am always practising self-government. My maxim is, Animum rege qui nisi paret imperat, and that m
e you in a passion; you are so terrible, so beautiful. Ah! they are
sweetness; the sensitive cheek that pales or blushes at a word, the bo
you admire, is it?
istopher, not seeing
a Simpleton, that is all. And
sale-room. Mrs. Staines remembered all Uncle Philip had said, and went plainly dressed; but her friend decline
l shown on the table, and the dirt choked, and poisoned our fair friends. Brokers pestered them, until at last Rosa, smarting under her late exposure, addressed the auctioneer
dness, uttered these words, she little foresa
her. "What business have these dirty fellows, without a shilling in
of in the papers again a
ve as well as you?"
ady. Why, she'd give you in charge of
wnright clamor of d
s, and pestered him. "Aah damned 'em pretty hard," said he, "but they didn't heed any. So then ah spoke 'em civil, and ah said, 'Well, lads, I dinna come fra Yorkshire to sit like a dummy and let you buy wi' my brass; the first that pesters me again ah'll just fell him on t' plaace, like a
at will not do. I will have no dis
gentleman reminded the auctioneer that the journ
, stand behind that lady's chair, and if anybo
to let soon," said a voic
gay or grave at a moment's notice, "is supported by th
rd. "I do my own business; but
sale you may put up the shutters; we have gone and offended Mr. Ja
one or two lots, an
looking her way, and
ittle out of spite; but as he had only got half a crown a
deep mourning. His appearance interested Rosa, and she wondered how he came there, and why; he looked like a lamb wedged in among wolves, a flower among weeds. As
excellent and useful article. Should not be
gh," said Jacobs,
dealers.-"
t down; shows they are going to bid for it in earnes
shillings; but the moment he said "Five pounds to begin," the boy in black lifted up his childish treble and bid thus, "Five pound ten"-"six pounds"-"six pound ten
use of amazement, and th
little
say his l
rd, sir. You are a gen
? If it's worth ten,
e you go on like that? Why, there was no one bid against y
sold, and mamma said it would break her heart to lose it. She was too ill to come, so she sent me. She told me I was not to let it be sold away from
osts money," said M
hen. "Have YOU got any on hand?
sudden she looked down the table, and there was Uncle Philip, twinkling as b
last she mustered courage, wrote on a leaf of her pocket-book, and passed
g you up himself. Follow his eye when he bids; you w
and found tha
nd, with her expressive face,
him, as you see he has a fancy for certain articles, y
suite Rosa wanted; but the auctioneer bid ag
ou, madam," said
e only bidder, and you have been so kind
ted with a roar of Homeric laughter that literally shook the
your mutton
the word
on't you want a bro
ime, sir; I'll do
nhorns l
ten-pund note for her
l, if it's stuffe
he owner's name and the res
a psalm at
please," said the auctioneer, who had
inst the wall, and Rosa had set her heart upon it. Nobod
own
nds," sa
about to be knocked down to Rosa, when suddenly a new bidder arose in the broker Rosa had rejected
riend, the snipe-nosed woma
hed the note. "Six
x-t
ev
en-t
ig
ht-t
nning, stealing a sudden glance, caught her friend l
en po
elv
irt
urt
xte
ght
ent
ty gu
ing suddenly round to Mrs. Cole, with a magnificen
ose and st
Mrs. Cole followed her, a
thing I have bid for. There I'v
t that. You had only to tell me you wanted it. I wo
said. Florence,
employ the very rogue she had turned off. But it is my own fault. Cecil
x. Only just married, and going about lik
ke two vagabonds. We have
a sta
dvice, you false-
are a
se; you are
have anything
should, you tre
nt-insolent
despi
hated you
pretended to lov
no more. I am you
e told the truth fo
in your husband; so you may lea
madam. We can get
, with eyes that g
ut of that; and presently in came Uncle Philip, full of the humors of the auction-room. He told about the little boy with a delight that disgusted M
of mine. We are
iends till death," sai
quired wh
John
Curzon
es
ve quarrell
es
usband is a gene
a trai
put a good deal of mone
p it. She is
elled with her abou
and her base good-for-n
our. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Chr
r," said he, "matrimony is a blunder at the best; and you have not done
ome here to insult us, I hope i
leasure, si