Collateral Hearts

Ava Carter lay there,her eyes pinned to the yellowed patch on her ceiling,she'd lost count of how many nights she'd stared at that same stain, trying not to think. The faucet in the bathroom dripped like a ticking bomb, drip, drip, drip, each drop reminding her she should've fixed it, but she had no time, and money.

It wasn't even dawn yet, but sleep had packed up and left her hours ago. Beside her, a tiny warm body breathed in shallow huffs. Lila, her child was six years old, all skinny elbows and soft hair, and the only reason Ava's heart hadn't just given up and stopped beating too. She brushed her knuckles across Lila's forehead, still very hot,"dammit", she said. The kid's brow pinched tight, even in her dreams. Ava swallowed down the knot in her throat and she'd cried it all out already the tears dried up around the same time the second eviction notice showed up,or maybe it was yesterday's pink slip, she didn't even know anymore. She forced her feet to the floor,cold hit her soles, sharp enough to wake her bones. The floorboards creaked under her weight and splinters catching her heel, she'd always meant to fix that too, but that was back when she still believed they'd stay here longer than twelve crappy months, back when she believed in fixing anything at all. In the so-called kitchen, more like a chunk of counter squeezed between the fridge and the bathroom door, she found the milk,barely half a cup left, and she poured it into a chipped mug, added water to fool Lila's tongue, she knows her kid wouldn't fuss,she never did.

The clock above the sink flicked its second hand at her like a taunt: 5:42 a.m. Eighteen minutes left before she had to drag her baby out of bed for a school run that might not even happen. The diner expected her behind that counter by seven sharp,and Miss June, the nosy neighbor who sometimes watched Lila when she was sick, had left her a note taped to the door: "Can't come tomorrow,my son's in town."

Ava leaned her hip against the wobbly counter, clutching her mug like it might warm more than just her hands. The coffee inside tasted like burned secrets, bitter as everything else she'd been swallowing down for months now,then she took another sip anyway, what else could she do?.

Bills sat on the table, neat little stacks of dread she hadn't opened yet,she didn't even have to. She already knew what they'd say that It will be, Past Due,Final Notice,overdue rent was two months behind, even the lights and heat wouldn't stay on out of pity and those hospital bills. She hadn't had the guts to open them since the night she'd carried Lila to the ER, barefoot, crying. She'd tried,God knew she'd tried to hold it all together when Kevin slammed that door and vanished and left her with a sick kid and an apartment he'd promised he'd help pay for. Empty promises, just like the ring he never gave her,a cough, small but sharp cut through her thoughts,Ava turned. Lila was awake, pushing herself up on scrawny elbows, her eyes was glassy and way too old for six years and the look, Ava hated it,no child should look that tired of fighting.

"Mommy?" Lila's voice cracked soft, like tissue paper. "I don't feel good."

"I know, baby." Ava forced her mouth to do the thing, the smile that felt like it might break her jaw if she held it too long,then she crossed the room in three steps, perched on the edge of the sunken mattress,she tucked sweaty hair behind Lila's ear and pressed her palm to that hot forehead again.

"We're gonna get you feeling better today, alright?" she whispered. A lie that tasted worse than the coffee.

"Do I have to go to school?"

"No, sweetheart,Not today. You're staying right here." Ava brushed a thumb under Lila's eye, wiping away something like tears, hers or the kid's, she wasn't sure anymore. "I'll figure it out, baby,I promise." She said.

A knock rattled the door, three sharp raps that punched through Ava's chest like a threat. She flinched,her gut twisted, she already knew that knock,of course she did. She pressed a kiss to Lila's sweaty forehead, whispered a promise she wasn't sure she could keep, then padded to the door, heart pounding louder than the faucet's drip, she peeked through the peephole. Mr. Daniels,the damn landlord. She cracked the door open, but he shoved it wider like he owned the hinges. He smelled like stale aftershave and cheap coffee, she hated that smell more than the peeling paint on her walls.

"Ava," he sighedher name, a complaint in itself. "We need to talk."

She swallowed, tasting acid. "Mr. Daniels, I know about the rent, I just.. "

"No more promises." He cut her off with a flick of his hand. "You said the fifteenth,It's the twenty-four thing now"

"I know, I have a double today and i'll have it by Friday,iswear." Ava said.

His eyes flicked over her shoulder to the chipped table, the bills there was like grave markers and Lila's doll in the corner,his mouth twisted like pity cost him extra rent.

"You're a nice girl, Ava, but I'm not the Red Cross, people are waiting for this place."

Her throat clenched tight. "Please. Just give me a few more days,Please." Ava begged.

"You've been saying that since Christmas!! " Mr. Daniel yelled at her.

Heat flared behind her eyes, the kind that wanted to leak out but wouldn't help her now. She hated begging,she'd never been a beggar, not until Kevin walked out and the car coughed its last breath on the freeway and the hospital started mailing bills like love letters she'd never open.

Daniels' voice softened like he thought it would hurt less. "If you can hand me something by Friday, anything, maybe I can hold off. Otherwise, you know what comes next."

Something inside her snapped, a tiny spark of anger trying to claw out of the fear. "I said I'll have it!!". she bit back. The words came out sharper than she meant and from the bedroom, Lila's cough stabbed her heart in half again. Daniels raised both palms with fake calm. "Friday, Ava or the locks change." He slipped out the door like a ghost leaving a cold spot behind. The click of the latch echoed through the room louder than his voice. Ava stood there, barefoot on splintered floorboards, surrounded by the pieces of a life she'd been patching together with duct tape and prayers. The table Kevin picked out when they still pretended to be in love,thecouch that smelled like stale popcorn and broken promises,alll of it pressed down on her shoulders like bricks,then she grabbed her phone and the battery blinked red, another joke the universe liked to tell. She scrolled her contacts, thumb hovering over Kevin Carter,her ex, her mistake,her last hail Mary she'd never say out loud. She nearly pressed callbut, no,not him,not again. She dropped the phone like it burned her hand, then she changed while Lila drifted back to a fevered sleep. She wore a black pants and white blouse with a collar stiff from last night's iron.

The diner's faded logo over her heart, a brand she couldn't wash off,and she scraped her hair into a bun then stared down the woman in the mirror her eyes ringed with years she hadn't signed up for. She used to be pretty, Kevin had said that once,but that was back when words were cheap and he liked to throw them around.

She muttered at her reflection, "You've got this." She didn't believe it,but lies kept her moving, then Miss June's line went to voicemail again. Ava counted the coins in her purse twiceand what is in there is not enough for a cab,and maybe soup later if she skipped lunch. She pulled her coat tighter around herself with Lila's unfilled prescription rattling in her pocket like an accusation.

At the bus stop, she thumbed her phone,one bar. One message blinking: "Final Notice: Utility Disconnect by 2 PM Today".

She opened her home screen and Lila's grin stared back at her with two teeth missing, sunshine in a girl too small for so much weight and Ava pressed her thumb to the screen, like maybe she could pull strength through the glass. The diner smelled like stale grease and overcooked eggs,very familiar,she slipped through the back, soft on her feet so that Joe wouldn't bark at her for slamming doors. At the counter, she tied her apron tight and her air under a net. The steam hissed from the grill fogging her glasses then Tina, bright as a new penny, rattled off the specials like they'd save lives.

"Morning, Ava." Tina popped her gum. "Rough night?"

"Same old," Ava said, lips cracked around a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Table three wants decaf,they said caffeine kills him but three sugars don't." Tina laughed at her own joke. Ava forced a huff of air that passed for a laugh too. She poured coffee, the pot is heavy in her hand but her mind was in that cold bedroom, Lila too hot to the touch, the bills waiting like open mouths, not here,not now, she brushed her thought off, then she balanced the pot like it was the last thing holding her upright. She topped off Mr. Price's cup,he didn't even say thanks. The door chimed, but she didn't look up right away, didn't want to. Then she felt it, the weight of eyes that didn't belong here, so she turned. A man stood in the doorway, with a suit jacket and a dark jeans, stubble that said he hadn't slept either. He looked at her like he knew things he shouldn't,like her name was written across her forehead in neon. He slid into the booth by the window and the sunlight was catching the scar slicing through his brow. He didn't look at the menu,he's looking at her.

She set the pot down and wiped her palms on her apron. "Focus, Carter,table four wants eggs, not your life story,she forced her feet forward.

"Morning," she said, pen ready. "What'll it be?"

His eyes flicked over her face like he was reading a map,very up close and she saw the same dark circles she wore every morning.

"i want cofee" His voice scratched the air. "And whatever you'd pick for yourself."

She blinked. "You want me to order for you?"

"Yeah." His mouth twitched,didn't quite smile. "Bet you know what's good here."

She scribbled. "Coffee and the special bacon eggs, toast."

"Perfect." He said.

She turned, His voice caught her halfway.

"You Ava Carter?"

The air left her lungs and she turned slow, jaw tight. "Excuse me?"

"Not here to bother you,we just need to talk."

She forced her backbone straight. "I'm working, if you want to talk, you can come back later."

He leaned back, all slow calm, like he had nowhere else to be. "I'll wait."

She spun back to the counter, blood buzzing like bees under her skin and Tina shot her a look and Ava ignored it. The man felt like bad news wrapped in polite words,she didn't have room for bad news. She had rent,a fever,andan eviction notice breathing down her neck. She poured his coffee,and through the reflection in the cracked window, she saw him watching her patiently likehe could see the cracks she'd tried so hard to plaster over.