Confessions of a Nun

There was always a subtle scent of candle wax and old wood in the convent. Sunlight streamed through the high stained-glass windows, creating soft gentle red, blue, and gold patches on the stone floor. Emily knelt before the altar, fingers slipping gently over her rosary beads as she whispered her morning prayer.

Her life was quiet. Predictable. Peaceful.

It was about to explode. Outside the chapel, there was a loud clatter that broke the silence.

There was a voice, "ETHAN! YOU LITTLE-"

Her eyes snapped open in surprise.

Outside, a man in a rumpled suit came barreling across the courtyard, waving a fist full of papers and shouting loud enough to wake saints. His foot caught on a potted plant-and down he went, face-first into the flowerbed.

"Oh no!" Emily gasped, robes flying as she rushed outside.

Wiping dirt from his cheek, the man moaned. "Is this the House of Holy Radiance?"

She knelt next to him and said, "Yes, are you okay?"

"What does 'okay' mean? I just had to wrestle a pigeon for directions, get kicked off a bus, and fly across the country. Now, I found you." He squinted at her, brushed off his suit, and stood. "You're Ethan, correct?"

She blinked, "My name is Emily."

He hesitated, "Twin sister?"

Slowly, she nodded.

He exhaled a long, dramatic sigh of relief, "Enough close!"

"Excuse me?" She asked, taking a small step back. "Who are you?"

He smiled and made a theatrical bow. "Mr Edward , your brother's personal manager. He is a budding superstar and in serious trouble right now.

She furrowed her brows. "Is Ethan having problems?"

"Well, sure. However, let's begin at the beginning." He displayed a glossy folder containing numerous photographs, including one of her brother practicing choreography on stage and another of him clumsily holding an upside-down microphone. "Your brother tried out to join Zero Saints as a new member. He succeeded."

Emily's gaze expanded. "Did he?" Even though she had only seen the band on TV once when she was a kid.

"Indeed! He was amazing. It's almost a miracle that even the Great Mason Brookes didn't despise him. However, after that..." He stopped abruptly. "A catastrophe occurred."

"What happened?" She asked.

"Eye surgery," Mr Edward said, apologetically. "He had a small operation in the U.S, there were complications. He will be unable to fly for at least a month. The agency won't postpone the debut.

She scowled. "That's terrible! I should go see him soon. But, how is it related to- "

He pointed to her and said, "You! You'll be Ethan, only for a short time. A month. That's all."

Emily stepped back completely, "What? I'm training to become a nun! That's an abomination! I only even have skirts and gowns."

Mr Edward smiled. "No problem, pulling out a duffel bag. We had some with us! Makeup, wigs, jeans are all available!"

She gave a headshake. "No. No. This is so crazy."

He realized that this would be harder than he thought and tried to convince her the more.

He softened his voice and said, "Listen. Ethan's fame didn't come from simply joining Zero Saints. He is trying to find someone.

She paused, "Who?"

He gave a nod, "Your mum."

She gasped.

He took a step towards her, "He believes that their lead producer, or someone close to the agency is aware of her identity. He thinks it's the only way he can ever locate her. He did this for you two."

Emily's world swung aside. Like a faraway song, the name "mother" reverberated.

When they were just toddlers, they had been abandoned at an orphanage. Ethan had always thought she was still alive, somewhere. Emily had long since given up on hope.

"He truly believes he can locate her?" She muttered.

Mr Edward remarked softly, "I've never seen him more determined." 'She will go if I can't,' quoting Ethan.

Emily's hands shook. "I sing hymns. I converse with pigeons. I can't be with all these famous boys, more or less live with them. I'm a nun for crying out loud!"

Mr Edward said quickly, "They're not that bad. Well, Mason is a little... scary. Luke is also overly perceptive. Jackson might attempt to braid your hair-"

She let out a moan, "You're not helping."

He put his hands together in plea, "I'm desperate, I'd lose my job if I don't take one of you with me, please. Only a few months. After that, you can resume your holy silence and avoid wearing jeans ever again.

She looked away, at the hills behind the convent wall in the distance. Her heart was at odds with itself. But she was needed by her brother. It's possible that she also needed this.

-------------------------

The air in the sleek rehearsal studio thrummed with tension and sweat. Lights glared down from the ceiling, bouncing off chrome mic stands and glossy instruments. The faint strumming of a guitar echoed as Jackson fiddled with a chord progression. Luke sat cross-legged near the keyboard. Mason leaned against the far wall, arms folded, jaw tight, eyes half-lidded in boredom.

Mr. Raymond stepped into the room with a quiet authority that immediately cut through the low hum of rehearsal.

"Alright, boys," he said, clapping his hands once. "Listen up."

Three pairs of eyes turned toward him. Luke sat up straighter. Jackson dropped his pick. Mason didn't move, but one brow twitched.

"I have an announcement." Mr. Raymond's voice was smooth but firm. "There will be a new addition to the band, starting today. His name is Ethan Carter."

Luke blinked. "New member?"

Jackson's face lit up. "Wait-like a fourth Zero Saint? Ohhh, are we changing the band name? Zero Sinners now? Zero & Friends?"

"No," Mr. Raymond replied dryly, but with a flicker of amusement. "He'll be backup vocals and helping with choreography for now. Ethan's shown promise. The agency believes he'll bring a fresh spark."

"Nice," Luke said, already nodding. "Looking forward to hearing him."

"Yeah, fresh blood could be fun." Jackson wiggled his brows. "Hope he can sing better than I can."

Mason snorted. "That's not a high bar."

Mr. Raymond ignored them and continued. "He'll be here in a few days. I expect you all to make him feel welcome."

Mason finally pushed off the wall, his boots clicking on the polished floor. "Welcome him?" he repeated, voice laced with disdain. "Did I miss a memo where we started auditioning rookies?"

"He's not a rookie. He passed the same screening you did," Mr. Raymond said.

Mason scoffed. "Except I had to claw my way here. Didn't have someone hand me a mic and say 'go be a popstar.'"

"Mason..." Luke warned softly.

But Mason wasn't done. His voice was calm, but cold. "If he wants to be in this band, he better earn it. And not just because the suits say so. I don't care what the agency thinks."

Mr. Raymond's expression tightened. "That's enough. Take it easy on him. He's just getting started."

Mason gave a crooked smile, all sharp edges. "We'll see."

Jackson whistled under his breath. "Oof. Here we go."

"I mean it," Mr. Raymond said, gaze locked on Mason. "Guide him. Understood?"

Mason didn't answer at first. Then, with a lazy shrug, "Sure. If he doesn't trip over himself first."

Luke leaned toward Jackson and whispered, "That's Mason-speak for 'I'm going to haze him like a frat pledge.'"

Jackson grinned. "This is gonna be fun."

Two days later, Emily stood in front of the gleaming Zero Saints agency building, disguised in baggy jeans, a hoodie two sizes too big, and mirrored sunglasses that she had taken from the convent's lost-and-found box. Under her baggy sweatshirt, her heart pounded.

The doors loomed ahead, sleek and automatic, like they'd swallow her whole.

Mr Edward nudged her. "Just walk in, head high. You're Ethan now."

"I can't breathe," She muttered.

"You don't need to. Just smile...Or frown. Actually, frown. Mason frowns 98% of the time and fans still love him the most."

Stylists, interns, managers, and camera crews were all busy inside the agency. Emily ducked her head. Then she heard a voice. Sharp, cool and commanding without effort, "No neon, I said I'm not a circus tent, I'm a rockstar.

For the first time.

Her heart began to beat with ridiculous speed. She stared at the brown headed brown eyed person infront of her with a fumbled mind. Her breathing stopped. Her body stood still. Her thoughts vanished.

Her eyes opened a slight bit bigger.

And a feeling in her gut twisted. A feeling foreign and strange.

She swallowed the tight feeling in her throat. Her heart pounded. She raised her head. Mason Brookes with his flawless hair, sharp jaw, and black clothing that seemed to have been invented by him, he stood as though he had been carved out of stone. He looked around the hall as if he were silently evaluating everyone, which he most likely was.

Emily paused. Then-he looked at her. For a moment barely. Their gazes met. Her throat tightened with breath. His eyes narrowed. She quickly turned away, almost tripping over her own feet. She was caught by Mr Edward . "Steady. He can smell fear.

She muttered, "I can't do this."

"Yes you can," he said. "You already are."

Mr. Edward led her down a sleek hallway lined with platinum records and LED lighting. When they reached the executive floor, he pushed open the door to a glass office.

"Mr. Raymond?"

"Ah! Ethan!" Mr. Raymond's eyes lit up behind his desk. "Come in, come in!"

Emily stepped in, heart hammering.

Mr. Raymond rounded the desk with a warm smile, shaking her hand. "Welcome to Zero Saints. We're excited to have you."

Luke and Jackson were already there, lounging on the leather couches.

"Hey, newbie!" Jackson called, popping a chip in his mouth.

Luke gave a small wave. "Nice to finally meet you."

Mr. Raymond turned to Mr. Edward. "Start showing him around, will you?"

Emily barely nodded before-

SLAM.

The office door burst open.

Mason.

Storming in like a thunderstorm. Black hoodie. Cold eyes. Silent fury.

Everyone froze.

He didn't say a word.

Just marched straight up to Emily.

Grabbed her wrist.

"Come with me," he growled.

"Wait-Mason!" Mr. Raymond called.

"Mason, chill!" Jackson stood.

"Mason, stop," Luke warned.

But no one dared stepped forward. Not even Mr. Raymond.

Mason dragged her down the hall. Her heart thudded in her ears. She didn't dare speak.

A door opened. A studio.

He shoved it open. Pulled her in. Slammed it behind them.

He stood in front of her for a few seconds as if studying her and trying to find a fault, scanning her from top to bottom.

"Call yourself a singer?" he said, spinning on her. "Prove it."

She blinked.

"What?"

"You want in?" He stepped closer, voice cold. "Then you go through me. Sing."

Her hands shook.

Outside the glass wall, the others had gathered. Jackson pressed his face to the glass. Luke had his arms crossed. Mr. Edward's eyes were wide with panic.

Emily's throat went dry.

Sing?

She didn't know what to sing.

Then, instinctively, she closed her eyes.

Took a breath.

And began to sing-

"Alleluia... Alleluia..."

Her voice rang out, soft at first.

Then it rose.

Clear. Pure. Holy.

It was a common song in the church she usually prayed.

The studio fell silent.

Even Mason stood still.

Outside, Jackson's jaw dropped. Luke leaned forward.

Mr. Edward had tears in his eyes.

When she finished, her voice faded like incense in the air.

Silence.

Then-

Jackson clapped. "Holy hell."

Luke joined, slower, thoughtful.

Even Mr. Raymond was nodding in awe.

Mason?

He brushed past her.

Didn't say a word.

Walked out the door.

"Wait," Emily whispered, heart sinking.

Jackson grinned, slapping the doorframe. "That's Mason-speak for 'you're in.' Trust me."

Luke smiled softly clapping. "Welcome to Zero Saints, Ethan."

Emily stood frozen, breathless, heart full.

She'd passed.

She was in.

-----------------------------------

Emily was lying on a borrowed bed in an unfamiliar dorm that night, surrounded by secrets she hadn't asked for, and wearing clothes that didn't fit. The actual Ethan lived thousands of miles away. For some reason, she felt closer to him than ever. With her wig on, she gazed at her image in the mirror. Then she shut her eyes. She prayed. Let me show courage. Don't let anyone know who I am. Footsteps echoed down the hall outside her door. The cold, low voice of Mason drifted by.

"I don't care who he is. If he screws this up, I'll throw him out myself."