While they were eating, I had never noticed the cleanliness of the surroundings. No toys were spread, no clothes were scattered, and most of all there was no toys again.
Alvise is often as messy in her toy and Sarah is so scattered in clothes.
"I'm cleaning, Mom." Sarah says smiling.
Alvise's forehead knelt. "What are you, I can clean your clutter!"
"You are the mess! Everywhere you lay your car toys, thank you and I threw it all away for nothing-"
"You threw it away?! Mom, oh!" Alvise said.
I smile. I'm used to both of them, they both don't beat each other. I always leave them here at home and just leave food.
I smiled at Alvise. "I'll just buy you,"
She nodded. "But Papa Stevan gave it, eh!"
"We're not her daddy!" Sarah said.
I sighed. "That's right," I told them.
They immediately stopped, though Sarah was still murmuring.
Stevan is your owner of this house where we rent. He even wanted me to go to a big company but I refused.
From the beginning he was very kind. The size of my gratitude to him.
He was always there whenever I needed help. But why?
Why is he helping me?
Why is he so kind to me? To us?
I am afraid that someday there will be a replacement for it ...
"You visited," I grabbed him by the water, sitting in the wooden chair here.
"Uh, yeah. Where is he-"
"Papa!" Alvise hugged her immediately. He reacted to a hug here. They are really close. Since I was born, Stevan has always been there and helped me care for them. She is also accustomed to that Sarah doesn't like her. Everything Sarah doesn't want.
He felt that I was buying his real father with others, even though he had never met him. Yes, I mentioned their real father, because Sarah often asked, but I never said her name.
"Your birthday is near, ah. What gift would you like to receive?" Stevan asked Alvise.
"Stevan, can we talk?" Sabad ko.
He nodded. "Yes, ofcourse,"
He said goodbye to Alvise first. She smiled at me and stood up and followed me.
"Why do you want to talk to me, Arah?" He asked.
"Ah, because"
"If you're worried about renting a house, it's okay even if you don't pay first,"
"That's not what I want to say,"
"Then, what? Is there a problem at home? You want me to find a better one?" He held my hand. "Just tell me what you want, I'll do anything."
I took my hand out of his grip. "I owe you so much," I took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know if I can afford it all,"
"I love you, Arah,"
To this day my brain still can't process what Stevan said. At first he was so kind to me that now what he was saying, I was afraid that maybe someday he would ask for a replacement.
And what is it? She loves me?
I don't know what to say, I'm ashamed. I didn't even know what to answer so I just turned away from her. I was afraid of what he had to say next. I know that he wants to replace it differently.
I don't want to repeat what happened before. Hays!
As I watched Alvise and Sarah eat, everything that happened back then came back to my memory. To this day I wonder if my decisions have been right ... But I am only one sure, I will never regret that my children will come into my life.
They are the only ones I have, so if they disappear, I might get bored.
"Mom," I lost my mind when my daughter Sarah called me.
I looked at him. "Why?" I will ask.
"Do you love my dad?"
My forehead is kneeling. "Stevan?"
His eyes rolled. "It's my real dad, it's not just a chance," he replied.
I don't know if I'll answer or not. Maybe because I don't know the answer either?