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Talking Stage

Talking Stage

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Talking stages... we've all been through it

Contents

Chapter 1 Stage 1: Expectations

I'm sitting here, staring at my phone. Scrolling through the apps without actually seeing anything. It has been two days since I texted you. And you ain't text me back. Why you ain't text me back? Don't you know how much anxiety I feel? I see you online. I wanna text you but sina content. So many questions running through my mind. Did I blow it? I'm here reading and re-reading our past conversation. The vibe is there...or rather was there. Or was it all in my head? These days your replies are brief, almost curt.

You're smart, funny and I will say intriguing. You make my mind spin with your intellect. The way you think turns me on... How can I explain it? You've got me standing right there at the cliff side. One more step and I'll be falling... falling irrevocably into the excitement that is your existence. We've been talking for a month, steady tempo... building unremittingly into a crescendo. But now the abrupt stop, the deafening silence. It fills up my days and eats up my hours. It is loud enough for me to hear my intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that had been silenced by your conversations. Lurking thoughts at the deep corners of my mind... plaguing every minute of my time.

'Are you good enough?'

'You're overthinking everything. Maybe they are just busy.'

'You definitely overshared and now you scared them away.'

I try to keep myself busy. 'It is what it is right? We're going to be okay whether or not this works out' I keep telling myself. Oh, but it is hard not to miss your comical quips and your weird point of view about anything and everything. More than all the risque pictures and texts that bounce between us. I miss hearing (reading) about the things that you take about so passionately. I read somewhere that getting over a talking stage is harder than getting over a date. I guess it's because of all the dopamine infused rush, the gnawing need in each one of us to validate our existence, by burdening others with our selves in order to feel alive. Just thinking about this makes me realize that there are parts of me that need healing. Before I take that step, and jump off the cliff side. But it still doesn't make me miss riding on your wavelength any less.

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Latest Release: Chapter 1 Stage 1: Expectations   02-21 14:38
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