THE ELITE'S TABOO LOVE

With a fresh layer of snow covering the tarmac and making the roadways slick, the Subaru station wagon slides to a stop in a parking space in front of the Balsam County police station.

And when I realize that my own mother has fooled me, my stomach drops.

"Whatever happened to going to the mall, Mom?" She hasn't said anything since we backed out of the driveway, so I assumed she was mad at me. She generally is these days.

Did you really think we'd just go shopping and act like nothing happened? She continues to stare forward as she says, "I had to get you in the car somehow."

I've seen her use the same ruse on Bingo, our golden lab. His tail wags and his tongue lolls as he joyfully climbs into the backseat, thinking he's heading to the park, only to find himself at the veterinarian. Every darn year, people fall for it.

A visit to the vet is far better than this.

She deactivates the engine and releases her seatbelt. "Okay. You are aware of our purpose.

She reaches over and activates the seat belt release button for me when I forget to do so. Her tone is worn out, and she has a hard look. "I called the police yesterday to report Mr. Philips. We're going in there and you're telling them everything right now because they need your statement.

"But . . ." At the same time that heat rises up my neck, my stomach drops. "You said you wouldn't do this," I said.

"Vanessa, I made no such pledge."

God, oh, my God. Before Sam pushes me inside, I must warn her.

She seems to be able to read my thinking. My phone is snatched from my hand by her.

"Mine, that is! Return it!" I reach out to grab it, but she clings to it tightly and slaps my hands away.

"This will be needed as evidence by the police."

That is a breach of my privacy, you know. I'm doing my best to present a composed yet resolute façade. I'm screaming within. Because I should have destroyed the proof that was on my phone. Sam instructed me to erase that, and I convinced him that I had done so, but I hadn't done it all yet. Not the one when he said I was gorgeous. I enjoy rereading that one while I'm curled up in bed.

"Simply end this now. Hello, Mom. Or perhaps we could go visit the principle. If he feels that Sam has to be fired, let him. Okay?" I scream.

My mother's face twitches. "His father is the principal. His uncle serves as the superintendent. And a balsam is his mother! You believe they'll want word of this to spread? They would just manage to brush this under the rug.

Which is exactly what Sam and I were hoping for when, two nights ago, my mother heard me tiptoeing down the stairs and silently followed me outside and around the corner to where Sam was waiting for me in his car. She was wearing her nightgown and housecoat at the time.

I'm not sure which enraged her more-that she discovered me sneaking out to meet up with my English teacher, or that I tried to convince her, while standing on a sidewalk at one in the morning, that "he's helping me with my assignment over spring break."

Additionally, it's too late. Police are looking into it. She exhales slowly and deeply. I must fulfill a commitment, Vanessa. When they learn that their adolescent daughter had been exploited by a thirty-year-old man, good parents are supposed to respond in this way.

I restrain myself from rolling my eyes. That will only enrage her further. "Nothing took place. In addition, the legal consent age is sixteen. Stop portraying him as some filthy old man. Sam is charming and entertaining and looks to be in his early twenties. He rides a motorcycle, is dressed in ripped jeans and Vans, and enjoys The Hives and Kings of Leon. I'm not the only female in my class who has fallen for him. Since the first day I sat in his class, I've been smitten with him.

He is your instructor! What kind of moron do you think I am, by the way? Stop lying to me; I am aware of everything that is happening. She grabs for the handle on her door.

And I understand that if I keep denying it, we won't get anywhere with her.

"But Mom," you say. I grab her forearm and can feel my muscles tensing up. I'm trying to control the trembling in my lower lip. "Please. I cherish him. And he cherishes me. As he informed me. After school is out, we have hushed conversations while he helps me with my college application portfolio in between stolen kisses. The two times I've managed to elude them and ride my bike to see him, there have been loud screaming in between our tangled breaths.

Before her eyes become harsh, there is just the slightest hint of sympathy in them. Vanessa, you're only sixteen years old. Simply said, there is a crush. It won't continue. It isn't true.

"This is different," you say.

"Everything he has said to you and every promise he has made has been a lie. He will tell you anything you want to hear if it means he would have sex with you because you are a beautiful, young girl.

"You're mistaken,"

Vanessa, it doesn't matter if I am because you are not allowed to be with him.

"You just... are impossible!" My cheeks boil with anger as I slap the dashboard with my palms. She is not attentive. How I feel is unimportant to her. She doesn't care if he makes me happy.

Her attention is now fixed on the tiny layer of snowflakes that is adhering to the windscreen. In the five minutes it took to get there, the automobile didn't even have time to warm up. "One day, you'll see I'm correct. You need to quit being so egotistical right now.

Selfish! But nobody is getting hurt, are they?

"Really? What do you suppose this situation will do to our family? We must all reside here. Additionally, your sister and brother must attend the same high school. The rumors, the chatter, the. She exhales heavily. "I'm sure questions regarding our parenting skills have already been raised. After this, we will be discussed at every dinner table from Sterling to Belmont.

Yes, since you made a report on us. I'm amazed she's not just as keen to keep this quiet as Sam and I are considering how concerned she is with her image.

"Goddammit, Vanessa!" My mother loses it. "You want to be treated like an adult so badly. Act as if you deserve it by proving it to me. Be accountable for your own actions.

"Fine! I'll wrap it up with him. I am aware that the vow is meaningless even as I yell the words. Sam and I are not concluding anything.

Oh, well, it's coming to an end. And maybe a long time from now, when you become a parent, you'll comprehend why I'm doing this.

One day, when you have children... Her party line is "because I said so," followed by that. She wasn't always seventeen and in love, though. "You can't pull this off. His life will be ruined by you. What if they imprison him?

If he is taking advantage of his students, then that is where he belongs.

"He is not exploiting anyone,"

"Please. You are the target today, and tomorrow it will be a naive fifteen-year-old.

She doesn't say it, but I can infer that I'm not entirely innocent.

I exhale a sigh. "It happened only once."