Saintwood: Senior Chaos

Things change and so do people

Mack

It’s been a year since the day of the funeral of Michael. Nik grieved every day that summer and throughout junior year. Scarlett’s brother Leo was an enormous help that summer until he went back to school. It left Nik lost through junior year. He got into more fights, which didn’t make Mom and Dad happy. Austin and I, along with our cousins RJ, Liam, and JJ, tried to back him up as much as possible. It was getting so bad that he almost got expelled from school twice.

It finally came down to Dad, sending Nik to stay with Aunt Kate and help at the bakery. Dad figured if he gave Nik space, and Aunt Kate kept Nik busy, it would keep him out of trouble. I had a feeling Nik went for other reasons.

I should back up and explain what happened the summer before our senior year from what Nik sent me after he left.

Nik

I pulled up to a house and opened the car door, getting out. Leo stood there on the porch waiting for me. It had been a while since I last saw him, but we kept in contact. He was the one person who saved me from losing my mind after what happened to Mike. I still miss Mike and everything about him. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop missing him. He was my first love.

I opened the back car door and pulled my bag from the back seat, then shut it. I walked towards the house and up the steps to the porch. Leo hugged me. “How was the trip?” He asked me.

“Long,” I said exhaling. Man, I was nervous.

“Here, let me take that, and let’s get you settled,” Leo said, taking my bag from me. He wrapped an arm around me as we walked into the house.

We walked upstairs, and Leo set my bag down in a bedroom. It was decent. It had a queen-size bed, and there was a dresser. There were a few pictures. I walked over to the bed and sat down. He walked over and sat down next to me. “Nik, I know it’s not much.”

I looked at Leo. “No, it’s fine.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Leo asked with concern.

“Um, I’m nervous,” I said, fidgeting as I looked at Leo.

Leo took my hand and interlocked our fingers. “Hey, it’s me. I know you’re nervous, but we can go as slow as you want.”

“I know. It’s that I haven’t been with anyone since Mike,” I reasoned.

“I know. I haven’t been with anyone since my ex, which I wish my ex would take a long walk off a short pier,” Leo said. I chuckled, and he said, “See, that’s the smile I missed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” I sighed.

“Look, Nik, it’s hard when you lose someone whom you love. It’s the grief you deal with in your way. Going down the self-destruction route isn’t good for anyone or you,” Leo explained.

I looked at Leo. “You’re right.”

“Oh, honey, I’m always right,” Leo said, waving his finger at me.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Leo,” I said, giving him a look.

“Oh, fine. You’re no fun.” He rolled his eyes. That was the thing I liked about Leo. He could always take the worst situation and turn it around, making it positive. Although people would flip to find out about us since there was such a sizeable age difference. I didn’t tell anyone in my family except for a few. Only certain people knew about things developing between Leo and me. They were Scarlett, Matt, my sister, and his brothers.

We both agreed to keep it quiet until I turned eighteen. I’m sure my family would be okay with it, but the age was a significant factor for Leo, and I got it. An older college guy was seducing the high school student. It’s such a scandal, I thought as I rolled my eyes.

Before anyone thinks I jumped right into something with someone after what happened to Mike, I didn’t. At first, Leo was a friend to me. We talked, and one night, I made the mistake of drinking. I let my grief take over and kissed Leo. He stopped me from doing anything that I would regret because he knew I was grieving. We took it slowly and exchanged numbers. He got out of a relationship recently. We talked on the phone. I guess we both didn’t want a rebound thing.

“Earth to Nik.” Leo snapped his fingers in front of me.

“Huh, what?” I asked, not realizing he was talking. I guess I zoned out a bit.

“I asked if you were going to Kate’s bakery? You know your dad wants an update,” Leo reminded me.

I sighed, “I guess.”

Leo got up. “Oh, come on, don’t be a grumpy Gus.” He pulled me off the bed.

“It’s,” I said, then stopped. I was feeling anxious that I started rambling until Leo pulled me into a kiss. I tensed, then relaxed and kissed him back.

Then he let go of me. “Better?”

“Much,” I answered.

“Good, now come on,” Leo said, dragging me behind him.

“Leo!” I yelled.

“Don’t worry, nervous nelly. Kate loves me,” Leo said.

We arrived at the bakery and walked inside, making the bell chime. Kate heard the bell sound and came out to greet us.

“Leo! What a pleasant surprise,” Kate said, kissing him on the cheek.

“Kate, ravishing as always,” Leo complimented her.

“Nikolaus! It’s about time you arrived. I swear your dad is such a worry wort,” Kate said, hugging me.

“Hey, Aunt Kate.” I hugged her back.

“How are you doing, Nikolaus?” Kate asked me, giving me an emphatic look.

“I’m okay,” I said. I’m doing shitty, but you need not know that.

“Uh, huh? Well, let’s sit and have some coffee and lunch,” Kate said as we sat down at a table while she got our food and beverages.

We sat there, and I played with my mug as Kate sipped her coffee. I took a sip, and she asked, “So how long have you two been together?”

I choked on my coffee, and it also came out of my nose. Did you ever have hot coffee come out of your nose? It’s not pleasant, and it fucking burns.

I grabbed a napkin, trying to clean the coffee off me as Leo patted my back. Once I found my composure, I looked at Kate. “What?” I coughed.

She gave me a look. “Don’t play dumb with me, Nikolaus.”

My mouth dropped open in shock, and I looked at Leo. He shrugged.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything,” Kate said, in-between sips.

I looked at Leo. “Did you tell her?”

“What? Who me? Psh, no,” Leo denied. I gave Leo a look, and he confessed, “Okay, it might have, kind of, slipped out.”

I narrowed my lips, giving him a look.

“What?” Leo questioned.

“Leo! I haven’t even told my parents!” I snapped.

“Oh, relax. It’s fine,” Leo said.

I looked at Leo as I leaned back in my chair. Kate looked at me, “Nikolaus. You need to relax. It winds you way too tight.”

I rubbed my hands on my pant legs. My palms were sweaty, and it was also a nervous habit. Then my phone rang. I pulled it out and looked at it. “Great,” I grumbled.

They both looked at me as I got up, walking into the back, taking the call. After twenty minutes, I returned and sat down in a huff.

“Is everything okay?” Kate asked me.

“Oh, you know, Mom and Dad making sure I’m not causing issues,” I retorted, feeling annoyed.

“Nik, they worried about you,” Leo reasoned.

“Thank you, captain obvious,” I snapped at him.

“Nikolaus!” Kate snapped.

“Forget it, Aunt Kate!” I shouted as I got up and stormed out of there.

“I’ll take care of it,” Leo said, going after me.

He found me standing at the creek, looking off into the distance.

“Nik?” Leo said.

“Don’t, Leo. I don’t need another lecture,” I huffed.

“I know, but you need to deal with your anger,” Leo advised me.

“I’m sick of my parents thinking the worse of me. I can’t do anything right in their eyes,” I grumbled.

“It’s not that,” Leo insisted.

“Yes, it is!” I shouted.

“No,” Leo boomed. I stopped and looked at him. “Nik, they worry about you. They know you’re angry, but you’re angry at the wrong people.”

“Then who should I be angry with, Leo?” I yelled.

“With Mike! You should be angry with him,” Leo shouted at me, and I shouted back. He was trying to get me to react. He kept pushing me and smacking me twice in the face.

Then my anger finally exploded, and I went at him, letting my anger rip. I yelled at him, but he took it until he grabbed me, and I stopped fighting. “Why did Mike leave me? What did I do? Leo, why? Why?” I sobbed and dropped to my knees, with Leo still holding me as I cried.

“Nik, he didn’t leave you on purpose. A cold-hearted person took him from you. You did nothing wrong, baby,” he said, soothing me as I cried. Leo comforted me as I cried. God, I was so lost.

I was sitting on the couch while Leo talked to Matt. Zane came in and handed me a cup of tea and sat down next to me.

“Are you okay?” Zane asked me.

“That’s the million-dollar question. Am I okay?” I said as I held the cup. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be okay.”

“Sure, you will,” Xavier said, sitting down in front of me on the coffee table. I looked at him. “Take it one day at a time,” he said, giving me a soft smile.

“Have you ever lost someone whom you love?” I asked Xavier.

“Well, no,” Xavier admitted.

“Then how the hell do you know what I’m feeling?” I snapped at Xavier.

“He might not, but I do,” Angelo said, taking a seat next to Xavier.

“What?” I asked with confusion.

“I lost my girlfriend during my senior year in high school,” Angelo admitted.

I looked at Angelo with furrowed brows.

“Drunk driver,” Angelo added.

Frisco walked in and took a seat next to Zane.

“I was like you. Self-destructive, angry, and I hated the world along with everyone around me. I asked all the same questions you are asking yourself,” Angelo explained.

“So, how did you get through it?” I questioned, looking at Angelo with hope.

“With the help of my brothers, sister, and parents. Nik, you can keep questioning it, but it only destroys you and everyone around you. They’re all grieving like you are, but they are grieving for you. They are hurting because you are hurting. Do you see what I’m saying?” Angelo asked me.

I gave what he said some thought. “Yeah,” I sighed.

“No one expects you to be this joyful person you once were. Death changes people, but you can’t let it destroy you,” Angelo reasoned.

“It’s hard, you know,” I admitted as I sat forward.

“I know, but that’s why this summer, we help you find your way back to the old Nik. You won’t be the same Nik as before because people change after experiencing something like this. You’ll a better Nik,” Frisco reasoned.

Leo walked over and wrapped his arms around me from behind me. “We’ll deal with this together. Okay?”

I reached up and placed my hand on Leo’s arms. I looked at him and the rest of them. “Okay,” I agreed.

Sometimes things change, and so do people. I guess this was one of those life lessons you learn on your own. It’s an excellent thing that I have people in my life that love me even when I didn’t like myself at that point.

I had a feeling this summer would change my life for the better.