The Harper Cousins

The Harper Cousins

Oliver

Splash!

What the hell? I jerked up from my bed soaked in water. I wiped my face to have Deacon standing in my room, holding a bucket.

“Why the hell did you do that?” I grabbed a shirt and dried off my face—the wrong decision. Damn, I need to do laundry. I tossed the shirt into the hamper.

“We start college next week, and you’re sleeping your life away.”

“What does it matter?” I squinted at Deacon.

“Stop sulking. It’s not great for the soul or you.” Deacon shrugged, tossing the bucket.

“People wallow when they’re feeling down. It’s an instinct.”

“Conner, not calling you after locking lips doesn’t constitute you wallowing. Plus, you didn’t call him.”

“He’s busy.”

“With what?”

“Not calling me.”

Deacon’s right eye twitched. How does a person disagree with sense?

I kicked Deacon out of my bedroom so I could change. Someone tapped on my bedroom door. Christ. Can’t a guy dress in peace? If Deacon throws water at me again, I’ll slap him.

I whipped open my door. “What?”

The person didn’t respond as Conner stood in my hallway.

“Is this an inconvenient time? I can come back.”

“No! It’s not!” Deacon said from downstairs.

I stormed out of my bedroom and over to the railing. “Shut the hell up, you tool!”

“Stop moping! A mopey Oliver is an annoying Oliver!”

“Go jump, Gia!”

“Ooh, clever idea.”

Deacon left as I folded my eyes. Now I understand why Tori sat on his head. I ambled into my bedroom and contemplated sitting on my bed. Ah, what the hell? I spotted an arid spot and plunked my buns down.

“I haven’t seen you since our kiss. Did you not enjoy it?”

“You came to my house to inquire whether I enjoy our kiss. Are you on crack?” I curved my eyebrow.

“Well, I haven’t seen you since the party.”

“Because you didn’t call or visit.”

“I’m puzzled.”

“That makes two of us.” I exhaled.

Conner sauntered over to my bed and sat down next to me.

“So...”

“Yeah?”

“I like you. You like me.”

“We aren’t a big, happy family. It’s not Barney. If you want to ask me out, then ask.”

Conner’s eyes expanded. I didn’t get the approach of dancing around questions. Directness is my motto. If you like someone, you ask them out. It’s not that complicated.

I awaited, then exhaled.

“I’m not great at relationships.”

“What relationship?” I curved my eyebrow.

“Well, asking someone on a date.”

“A date doesn’t mean a relationship. Two people eat dinner together, determining if they like each other. That’s the trouble with people.”

I stood up, shuffled over to my dresser, snagged a pair of Hanes socks, and tugged them on. No offense to anyone, but feet gross me out. Owen thinks I’m peculiar, but people’s feet aren’t pleasant.

“What do you suggest?” He squirmed on my bed.

I could tell he was nervous.

“Why don’t we hang out? If we don’t like each other, there’s no harm done.”

Conner sighed as I curved my eyebrow. Then water streamed through my screen, soaking Conner. Yeah, my dipshit cousins are at it again.

Conner scrambled off my bed. I dashed out of my bedroom, came back a few minutes later, opened my screen, and flung water balloons at Kayden and Jayden.

Except I didn’t fill the balloons with water, but with pudding. Each balloon hit them and exploded with chocolate pudding.

“What the hell? Oliver, you suck monkey balls!” Jayden said.

“You suck donkey dick, but you don’t hear me judging, you twat monger!”

“Do you have any idea how much pudding stinks in eighty-degree weather?” Kayden asked.

“Ask me if I care.”

“Do you care?”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Markus dropped the psycho twins on their heads as babies. They escaped while complaining. Well, don’t shoot water into my bedroom.

I moseyed into my bathroom, snatched a towel, and tossed it at Conner. “Here, dry off.”

“Thanks.” Conner dried his hair.

I tugged on my sneakers.

“So, about hanging out?”

I rounded my brow. I saw potential in Conner. But can he keep my attention? That question lingers.

*****

Jayden

Kayden and I entered the house with pudding covering us. Dad took one peek at us and resounded with laughter.

“Thanks, Dad.” Kayden walked past him.

“No problem.” Dad laughed.

Our dad, Markus, howled at our expense. We do something foolish, resulting in payback, and he chuckles. Our dad, Hayden, struggles to intervene. It never works.

Kayden and I took showers to scrub off the pudding. Then we got dressed—that damn Oliver.

As I picked my hair, Kayden brushed his.

“When are you cutting your fro?”

“I like my fro.”

“You resemble someone from the seventies.”

“Unlike you, I kept my luscious locks.”

“So did Bozo the Clown, except your hair isn’t orange.”

I scowled at Kayden. Okay, people need some background about us. Our biological parents were black and into some crazy shit. Child protective services took us because they figured we desired a better home. The couple who adopted us were gay and white.

While most people view this as an issue, we don’t. Our dads raised us in a loving home. They have no trouble beating our asses when we do stupid shit. Yeah, we do a lot of stupid shit. When a crazy-ass family raises you, you’re bound to do stupid shit. Our last name is Harper.

“Kayden and Jayden! Lunch is ready!” Markus said.

We busted our ass getting out of the bathroom. I almost tossed Kayden down the stairs. We scrambled into the kitchen, tumbled over each other, and fell.

Markus looked at us on the floor. “If you wished to eat on the floor, you could have told me.”

I shoved Kayden off me. “Get off me, fool.”

“Well, bite me.”

“Can we have one day where someone isn’t acting like a fool? Or someone has to bite the other?” Markus asked.

We peered at each other, then said, “No.”

Markus rolled his eyes as Hayden came into the kitchen. Kayden and I sat down at the table as our dads joined us.

“So, why did pudding explode on you?” Markus asked.

“Dumbass sprayed a hose into Oliver’s bedroom window,” I spoke while eating my sandwich.

“Well, mopey needs to stop moping,” Kayden said with a shrug.

“Oliver has issues,” Markus said.

“Yeah, big issues,” I said.

“Can you survive your first year in college without landing in the clink?”

“Have you met our boys or your family?” Hayden asked Markus.

Markus squinted his eyes and pushed out his lips. “Yeah, never mind.”

Kayden and I glanced at each other as smirks formed on our lips. Dear old Oliver is in for a surprise this year. His dad doesn’t know about his side job. We do, and that’s never great.

Let the games begin.