SINFUL DESIRES

Olivia didn’t really like the city.

To be honest, she was more of a town’s girl having lived the most of her life is Eastern Texas.

She loved the horses, and the smell of hay on a dewey winter morning. She loved the animals, and how crimson the sky would color at times.

But this, running down the tarred roads of Illinois to catch the bus, this she didn’t quite love.

Slipping from her hands was her backpack that she carried like a seventeen year old. Deep down, she still felt like she was, at least hoped that she was. That she never grew up. It certainly didn’t help that the past few years were a blur.

College which for her was supposed to be her prime years, were actually the most mediocre. Olivia spent her whole life behind a book and love song’s playing beneath her headphones wherever she went.

I wouldn’t really say she had friends, but she had Alli. Besides him, she was as alone as one can be. She waved her long arms, yelling out at the bus that was about to pull away.

Gathering her books and bags in her hands, she stumbled forward, strands of her red hair falling over her glasses.

The color of her hair being her most fun feature— —sometimes she wore in braids, or a messy bun which was ironical because she’d spend minutes in front of her mirror achieving the level of complexity and messiness.

She never really liked makeup, mostly because getting to work in the mornings were hectic and it’d turn to a mess.

Her nails brushed against the bonnet of the bus as she halted by the steps, her eyes immediately met Hamilton, the driver whom she’d known since she got here with her aunt sometime ago. Her aunt who now lived separately, not far off from her. She usually called each morning as sort of some daily checkup that had turned a ritual.

“Morning Liv” The driver watched her as she climbed into the bus. “Morning Ham” She made her way to the seats, settling in with the chaos that were her hands.

Once she put work documents away, she heaved a deep sigh and adjusting the collars of her striped office shirt and wrinkled her thigh long skirt. There was not much difference from what she had worn the previous day, except in colors and style.

Olivia was deeply predictable, although she thought if she had the money, she would have better style, which we can all agree on.

However for now, she’d stick to her mum’s old shirt and skirts she’d sewn by herself. She wasn’t living below average, she was content as she’d tell you that a thousand times.

However, where she was in this moment wasn’t exactly where she’d planned to be. But it was life, and sometimes it surprises us. Liv had wild dreams growing up, like owning a design label in the New York City, a trademark to that name.

She had even wilder imaginations and fantasies, even though she was still a virgin. It was the books, the books she’d read growing up. The smut that gave her thrill and made her timbers shiver. However, she never really got to feel the real thing, mostly because she was shy. And deeply scared to give her whole self to one single person, one person that could break her heart.

All her life, Olivia had fallen for just one person and it didn’t end well after the camping trip. Never again, she told herself. She’d rather read the terribly plotted wattpad romance stories and enjoy it, if it was the closest she would feel to love. The mythical feeling that was, love.

Looking out of the windows as the bus pulled away, she was reminded of how she felt about the city. She didn’t detest because this placed housed her, alongside the year long memories but she just never thought of it as home.

The fall weather was beautiful today, and she was resuming work after a week bank holiday that had been given. And even after such break and a million deep breathes that reassured her that she got this—Olivia was still a mess.

It was then her phone lit up in her hands and she looked to screen to see, mum. It was Agatha, her aunt who was more or less a mother since both her parents died in the car crash.

September 07, she’d never forget that day—she believed changed her life. Fresh off their summer trip, her mum and dad were involved in a ghastly accident. She’d moved on from it, that’s if one could ever move on from something like that.

Maybe a much better phrase was that she didn’t dwell any more on that past. Because she always had Agatha growing up, and most of the time she was just enough.

In the new city, she had Agatha. Navigating the terrifying puberty years of girlhood, she also had her aunt. For the big moments and even the smallest, that it until months ago that she moved out—an attempt to find her own footing.

But one promise that she made and kept was that they talked everyday. And though Olivia never said it, it was her favorite part of the day.

“Hi Agatha” She heaved a sigh, a smile crawling to her lips. “How are you, Liv?” There was some noise behind her but she could still hear the genuinity in the tone of her voice.

“How are you?” “I’m okay” Liv had toned out the entire world as she spoke to her favorite person. The roads were bumpy so occasionally, she swayed side to side. “Did you catch the bus?” “Yes, i did” Olivia replied, implying that that wasn’t always the case. “I had to run and at some point, this son of a bitch got mud all over my shoes” She added, rolling her eyes to the back of her head.

“Aww i’m so sorry” Agatha replied. “Don’t worry, everything will be okay soon” Liv closed her eyes to those words, taking comfort and solace in such assurances. And she nodded, knowing she could always count on her to make her feel better.

“I’m making lemon tea” She could hear the sound of the cutleries behind her. “If you were here, i would give you some. It’s a shame you didn’t come here for the break—“ She paused, as if she still had words to say. “I— I had work”

“My own work” Olivia rephrased. “I know Liv, but this place gets boring. I don’t want you forgetting your home” She scoffed, leaving a smirk at the corner of her lips. “I could never” She said.

The winds filled her hair as Liv adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose, resting on her knuckles, she listened to a Weyes Blood song the moment her aunt hung up.

Music was her free therapy, an escape from her anxieties. She had the latest edition of Love the Sin, a novel by Onyemaobi, in her hands but she chose to bury her head into it, but rather fill her eyes with reality.

Maybe the city wasn’t so bad if you actually took note. She sat in the chair, with an arched back, waiting for her stop. And the moment the bus came to a halt, she launched forward, rushing down the aisle and out. “Bye Ham”

“Have a good day, Liv” She heard from behind her as she alighted. “See you later” She filled her lungs with the crisp Chicago morning air before her eyes sent on the queue of cars before her.

The lot was filled, and it usually wasn’t. There was also a crowd swarming through the door, and while she climbed on her toes, she searched for Alli.

She mounted the steps that led into the building, over her a sign that boldly said Archers. Hefting out her ID, Oliver paced towards the front door and headed to the elevators with her bag still over her shoulders.

“Hey” She greeted the door man and made her way through the dispersing crowds. “Hi” “Liv” She suddenly heard from behind her, and she recognized that voice.

But the moment she turned around, someone bumped into her from the stairs, falling the books in her hands down for the nth time that day. “Son of a bitch” She muttered beneath her lips, ready to pick a fight with the suited man that had just passed—his cologne infiltrating the thick air and she coughed.

He didn’t even both to look back, but she knew she wasn’t deaf. At least he would have heard her books fall to the ground. She leaned forward, finally succumbing but still arching her brows in anger.

And Alli walked up to her. “Hey” He reached out to the last book on the ground and handed it over to his best friend.

“What’s up?”

“Some cocky bitch just bumped into me and didn’t even utter a word—“ Alli turned around. “That guy?” He pointed to the exact one in a shimmering black tuxedo and a clipboard in his arms. Liv arched her brows the moment people began to gather round him and her eyes diverted to Alli.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“That cocky bitch is Damien.” She narrowed her eyes at him as if that name was suddenly meant to ring a bell. “Didn’t you get the email?” Alli asked like he had no idea that the phone might be the worst way to reach Liv. She shook her head, walking past him. Damien hefted the mic to his lips as he turned around, his cold dark eyes meeting Liv’s blue ones for just a second. And she felt a chill run up her spine as she held her novel close to her.

It was anxiety in her stomach, for whatever reason, accompanied with anger and rage for a person she didn’t even know. Well, she did know his type. They filled the world, arrogant, cocky, privileged. But what he was doing here, that, she had no idea.

That is until a construction worker walked through the doors, holding up a large plaque that bore the name.

His name. Damien Alexander Archer.

And she turned to Alli, who’d sensed she’d finally got it. “Hold on” Came a shrill whisper as she looked back and forth. “Archer?” She pushed a hard lump down her throat and Alli walked up to her, leaning in closely.

“He’s our new boss” He said. “Since when?” “Since Hank died.” Her brows collapsed at such news, her heart falling simultaneously.

“What?” “A heart attack” He added. “So his son being the heir to the company will be taking over. You should really check your emails, maybe—“ She zoned out again, turning to face him. Damien.

But he was already looking at her. And there was anxiety again, the kind that erupted in her stomach and she looked away, and back. Both their eyes pulled away as she pointed to the stairs.

“I should go—“ She paced, clearing her throat and Alli stretched out his arms. “Wait” He shrugged.

The moment he wasn’t before her, she calmed. And Liv clutched her chest, knowing the only reason she felt this way was because something about Damien was strikingly familiar.

Or maybe it was Alexander.

And in that moment, it hit her— and if she didn’t already hate him, which she did, she was to going to detest him even more.

To be continued…