But you lied to me

MAYA

I had been running for a while now. I did something stupid. The secret is out. It was not my intension for my boss to find me while hugging the toilet yesterday. She thought I was just lazy, taking another break after my lunch ended. She hated me from the beginning, but only gave me a job because she knew my mother. I threw up three times before she helped me to the sink and cleaned my face. She looked up to me, my boss Chrissie was an old lady and really tiny. She asked me one question:

‘Are you pregnant?’

I assumed she was just crazy and I was just getting sick. But what if I wasn't? I took a test out of the grocery store I worked at to be sure.

I run upstairs to the third floor of the building and open the front door. I found my mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Her blond curly hair up in a messy bun. I looked a lot like her, but with darker hair and skintone. My stepdad Vin is sitting on the couch, watching a tv show about gold hunters. Of course, with a bottle of beer in his hands, like always. He loves beer.

My mother looks up from the veggies she was cutting and sees me standing, sweating and panting against the door. ‘Maya, what's wrong? Did something happen?’

‘I did something stupid.’ My eyes go from my mother to Vin and back again. They both look confused.

My mother lays down the knife she was holding and walks away from the counter. ‘What did you do?’ My mother has always been strict. Go to church, do your chores, don't dress slutty, no boyfriends, all that kind of shit. She was not prepared for what I'm about to tell her. All her radars are going wild in her head now.

I just shake my head, while I feel tears forming in my eyes. ‘I didn't want to tell them, but Chrissie found out. I couldn't lie anymore. I don't know what to do mom.’

‘Maya Picori, what the hell did you do?’ Only anger was coming from her now. I know this look. She was going to hit me if I lied.

Tears are running down my face. ‘Mom, I'm pregnant.’ I felt the pain she left behind by slapping me across my face. I lower my head. I don't want her to hit me again just by looking at her. I take a step back, now with my back against the door, I have no way to go.

‘No, you're not! You told me you didn't have a boyfriend! Don't lie to me, Maya!’ she screams at my face. ‘Look at me you slut!’

I look up, totally shaking with fear for her. She didn't care for me, not anymore. Not for a long time now.

‘I didn't lie, mom.’ I couldn't even step away when she tilted up her arm to hit me again. My cheek burned and I almost fell over to the ground when she hit me.

‘You are a slut! You are a foul creature. I'm ashamed of you. How could you even stand here? You are a whore, a slut, Maya.’

‘What did you say to me?’ I suddenly felt my anger getting stronger. How could she say that to me? After all, she is the hooker, the slut, the sex worker. Well, at least she was. For almost five years she got paid to have sex with men. If it wasn't for my stepfather Vin, she still would have been.

‘Well, you heard me!’ My mother takes a step back, with disgust for me.

I look over to Vin. He hasn't said anything this whole time. He isn't moving. It's like he's been frozen onto the couch. ‘Vin please, say something.’ I beg him, but he ignores me and only looks at my mother with pain in his eyes. ‘Please.’

‘Maya, leave him alone. He is not your father.’

I want to scream. She doesn’t know anything. ‘But mom...’ I can't finish my sentence. I fell to my right when my mother hits me again. My head hit the small table next to the door. The faze with cute little flowers in it, tumbles down after me. Tiny little pieces of glass lay all around me. Black dots are forming in my eyes, until the only thing I see is black.

I wake up laying on the couch. My head hurts like hell. Not only my cheek burns from being hit by my mother, but there is something on the left side of my head. My hand is touching something wet. I pick it up. I almost scream when I see a white little towel with my blood on it. Then I remember hitting my head. I slowly turn my head to the door and see the table, but the pieces of glass and the flowers are gone.

I can hear my mother crying in her bedroom. When she told me, Vin asked her to move in with her, I never could have thought I was going to live in an apartment this small. The couch almost filled the whole apartment. There is a tv hanging on the wall, a blue rug, and the now empty table next to the door. The kitchen is next to the tv, with only a sink, a coffee maker and a fridge. The counter we also use to eat from. It barely fit three chairs. But above all: Vin's apartment only had one bedroom. I had to sleep on the couch for almost three years now. Did I need to go to the bathroom, I had to go through their bedroom. Did I need clothes, I had to walk past their bed to get it. They slept naked by the way, my mom and Vin. Vin was nice to me, maybe too nice. He took me to fun trips, like the beach and Disneyland. Fun thing my mother didn't take me to.

‘I don't know what to do with her.’ my mother says. Once again, the thin walls of their bedroom behind my couch are a nightmare. I can hear everything they say, even when they talk soft to each other.

‘She is your daughter.’ Vin said to her. 'Who is she been sleeping with?’

‘I don't know.' My mother's cries, but are being silenced. Great, they're kissing now. I heard enough. She only cared who I was sleeping with. She didn't even ask me how far I was with my pregnancy or how I felt about it. If I was keeping it or taking it away. She really thought I was a whore. She wouldn't believe even if I told her the truth. I ignore the pain in my heart and walk to the fridge to fill a big glass with Fanta. It's cold and exactly what I need right now. I sit down on the floor and take a big sip. Then I hear the sound of their bed squeaking. Really? I told them I was pregnant and they're having sex? I close my eyes and lift my hands up to my ears.

‘Oh, Vin. Harder, harder.’ my mother screams in pleasure.

I don't want to cry, but I do. Is it the hormones already? Or is it because they have sex, with knowing I could hear everything?

After a while the squeaking sound stopped. I drink the rest of my Fanta. Then my mother steps out of her room, wearing nothing but a pink silk bathrobe.

‘Here.’ she throws my schoolbag next to me on the ground. I look at it in disbelieve. What does it mean? ‘Vin and I talked.’ She sighed and exhaled a few times. Then Vin hugged her from behind, giving her strength to say what she needs to say. ‘We decided you can't live here anymore. I packed your bag with some clothes and other things you'll need. There is enough money for you to take a bus to Tucson to go to your aunt’s house. We can't raise a baby here and we don't want too either. I can't even look at you.’ She buries her face in Vin's chest, crying again.

‘Maya, just take your bag and go. I want you out of my house.’ Vin finally spoke with a soft but angry voice. I just looked at him with tears in my eyes. I had hope he would talk my mother out of this, but he didn't. ‘Now, Maya.’

I pick up my schoolbag and go. Yes, I’m fifteen years old, I'm pregnant and now homeless.

All I knew was: My life would never be the same again....