A T

he lobby of the fertility clinic I just walked into. I

en a few months since I divorced, and I have b

ng incomplete and that's why I'm here. In

smile and walked towards the doctor's office. The door swung open, and

arm wind I hadn't expected. I caught the woman's eyes just for a second, there was a sh

, the knot in my

, her expression gentle and i

ed the strap of my purse on m

s lined with medical books and tiny framed photos, babies, ha

gesturing toward the chair acros

ettling into the chai

folder. "So, I understand you're inte

f my own. "Yes. I know it probably

lded her hands on the desk. "But this isn't about impulse. It's about instinc

e sharp edges of doubt

"A divorce. A shift in my career. And now, I just

t her notes. "There are a few different paths we can take depending on what you're comfortable

I no longer wore on my left hand. "I don't know.

or," she said warmly. "To

do know I want," I said to

and no one else," I smiled at the sound

s. "Whatever decision I am going to make has to be anonymous. I do not want to know wh

something close to hope. It was fragile, like a paper

l the

st after I finished my workout. Dr

in as soon as possible. The

inic. I replayed every step I had taken over the past month, trying

I arrived, no waiting, no pleasantries. Just her so

en a mistake

eart

" I asked, already brac

or during the labeling process in the lab. The sperm used d

"What do you mean it wasn'

m so sorry. The donor used was someone else. And he has

ng. That was never part of the deal. I made it very c

tigating exactly how this happened. But I do think... it might help if you m

I said

hat kind of man would want to get inv

r judgment, I agr

, arms folded and a tough expression on

ard his footsteps before I

Za

ng inside

, and my breath c

hew R

eality. He looked older, yes, but still maddeningly handsome, tall, composed, his brown

n I had ever

isbelief crashing into

d as I was. "I didn't know.

f to breathe. "This is... this

ietly. "But it's not. I didn'

right to be involved in anything to do wi

said, stepping closer. "But I need you to unde

ng of his words. "Don't. Don't you dare do this. You do

ident, Zara. I was seventeen. I di

at every single day since. You think I haven't paid for it? I left the country because I

ng. "Not for me. I didn't ask for

rom you," he said. "But I do want

You don't get to play the redemption card

ce between us. H

e said softl

," I said, turnin

blurring. I didn't stop until I was in my car, gripping

the wave of memories I had buried for years. His kiss.

him back in. N

d what I

ht, booked a flight out

good

no

t I was alre