I read the
think you'd get on together. He's a one-man dog and a bit queer-tempered with strangers-all Sealyhams are. But he's a good little chap-very sporting,
ery sin
hine
lways slept
m London, for I was spending the week-e
nting horn in each hand, listening critically to the noise he was making, and endeavou
in Bertram suspended his operations. "
s, too," he added. "You'll never kill him. Tell me." He brandished the horn which he held in his right hand. "Don't you think this sounds t
o a bureau. "They're equally painful. They do it r
Bertram, "that you ha
beg or something. I suppose it's too much to expect to find a pen that'll write here
," said Bertram indignan
ed my d
nd shall
nderous sarcasm. "But, as I have yet to meet any one
ep," said I, and with that I selected a l
Miss
ning a week and every other Sunday. And will he do in the front steps and spoil the knives? Or only ruin the boots? I beg your pardon. For the moment I was thinking of the cook who nearly
ery sin
.
ll always s
ve him the letter, and he promised to see that it was dispatched th
Jonah's birthday. To do the latter honour, we were to dine all together at Claridge's and go on to an entertainment, pr
and it was not until we were half-way through dinner that I l
the telephone block, but I suppose you were too hurried to look at that. 'Miss Childe's compliments, and Nobby will be round this e
aid I. "It
d Daphne and
quadruped. Something lik
citedly. "I know. I've
id my sister. "What's sh
e nature of th
lieve," I concluded, "that
exchanged m
breed?" said Berry.
draught of champagne
Sealyham
damnato
y. Peaceable possession of our tenement will be unknown. Ingress and egress will be denied
d I. "You'
a new cook, who'd just come, before she'd got her things off. They had to give her five pounds, put
og saw through her. They o
h, "they're a bit too
ng his soul out in the servants' hall. So we'll have to keep him to-night. If he's the ravening beast y
darling," said Jil
heatre, I telephoned hom
t you,
is,
gs come
one,
all r
r short with Fitch sir, when he come in, but he had his leggin'
ukedoms' cook and
u go to bed," I said as nonchalantly as poss
good
ed to th
bit of Heaven ar
odd
ualt
verything in the
nd the servants' hall? I s
" said I. "He's
re," said Ji
ised if he concentrated on me. They always aim high. It will be your duty,"
onah, "is to hold a ciga
r pardon,"
takes such a
ated that he should regard any such treatment as a
s burning holes in my body in the hope of being recommended by the Coroner's Jury. If I've got to die,
said I. "Think what
it mean?"-s
said I. "You must h
heatre about
ng to the chauffeur-when an exclamation from Jill, who was on the poi
e might have been painted by Maud Earl. His ears were pricked, his little forefeet placed close
y," said I.
his small head on one side with an air of
arling!"
ey inserted, and the next mome
comer's feet, where he stood with his back arched, one fore-paw raised, and bared teeth, emittin
w stood as if ro
to shake wi
enter my own house now. It's all right, old chap," he add
taking no risks, replied with a growl charged with su
myself to
assuringly, patting B
akes to record, the growl culminated in that vicious flurry which invariably accompanies the closing of jaws, there was a noise of torn cloth,
ils of merriment from Jill brought my sister and
desperately to the bookcase, and Nobby, clearly interpreting our merriment as applause, stood
cost. Think of the dogs you could get for that. Excelsior. Seriously, I should get him a set of false teeth and keep them locked up. It'll save in the end. Yes, I know it's side-splitting.
yself together and laid a
footed Baboon, an animal of diverting but vulgar habits. That between
hinking out your death. They say pressing is very
bby and put hi
u're a wicked
ne. Then with a sudden movement he put up
nts, Nobby had accepted from Berry a caviare sandwich, and I had handed
bey, a fine old place with mullioned windows and a great panelled hall that smacked of revelry and Christmas cheer even in summertime. On Christmas Eve there was to be a dance, o
idden, as was any suit or frock which was not the monopoly of juveniles. Hair was to be worn down, monocles and jewellery were banned. The trappings of Dignity were to be rigidly pu
coursed by a famous coloured band, whose servic
or Hampshire, but time-tables were consulted, and it was discovered that he could travel across country on Christmas
said Daphne. "You've got all you'll
d we were all in the library, res
pths of the sofa
ething. Beard-eraser, for instance, and a
re already. Mrs. Foreland knows you're
ponge. Moreover, foolhardy as it may seem, I still clea
ter with your p
Berry. "That's why I shal
"I refuse to subscribe
one, but almost any other. My life has been one long unrecognized sacrifice. And what is my reward?" He looked round about him with pitying eyes. "Poor bloated worms, you little know the angel th
out?" sa
ve violent indigestion within twenty-four hours. Pleased with this attention, the laird erected in my memory a small bar at which the rankest poison could be obtained at all hours by asking in Hebrew for ginger al
nd looked roun
ou aren't afraid to--Where's my cigare
our ear," suggested he
u lighted that one fr
s, I didn't use a match. I kindled it by rubbing two sticks t
lection that at least four days must elapse before any one could be bothered to bathe him again, the terrier took a flying leap on to the sofa, licked Daphne's face, put a foot in Berry's eye, barked, hurled himself
ll 'animal spirits,'" said Berr
I, "that exercise after a
me I put my foot in your eye, assume that I'v
Martins?" said Daphne, "to sa
on the writing-table, awaiti
letter and read
da
ation to make one of the house-party
creed that I shall not dignify your hove
ion that you are fortunate indeed to have secured so enchanting a personality for your festivities, which, ho
of the latter has stealthily acquired a mongrel, which, provided he can obtain the necessary permit, he proposes to bring with him
, as the Duke of Blackpool, and that at this season it is my pra
, Ma
edient
Pley
ver, there's no time to write another, so it had bette
?" said I, holding
ster
e to go, I
hand I wrot
g the Countess of Loganberry's kind invitation to atte
d read th
bject!" said Berry. "We
tting a new blade to my safety-razor, w
but you may as well see wh
you mean
d th
aid down my instrument of
i
he 20th inst., and to say that she cannot recollect the inclusion of your name amo
ce upon the 24th inst. or any other date, and that you will take immediate steps to prevent the dispatch o
on of the animal to which you refer, or in the nature of the vic
m,
edient
ick Bo
chin though
rash," said I, "but it looks a
n-law. "What insight!" He glanced at his
om Diana St. Martin to say how glad she is you're going t
scuss your crime. Have you anything to say
ace to Society. It is therefore our painful duty, brother, to proceed with the operation, inadvert
erry clapped
nd." He took the letter out of my hand and slipped it into his pocket. "You w
moment he
lowing telegram was on
as arranged aaa four tons of luggage entrained last night aaa loose-boxes containing parasites due to arri
hat our heavy baggage was placed in the van, while Daphne, Jill and I were standing beside such articles as we were proposing to
" said an unpleasan
th-topped boots, with a soft grey hat on the back of his head, smoking an ins
," I
yham, ai
lieve
fellow bowed his head as if to examine the dog, at
ier had sneezed, wriggled from unde
of a crate of live turkeys which he had vainly struggle
t, I thrust the rug I was carrying into Jill's arm
and a chorus of indignant cries suggested that the soone
antly towards the edge of the platform, and
ught an expensive ticket and, by no means certain that the supply of seats will be equal to the demand, interprets every movement as an attempt to secure an unfair advantage. I eventually arrived to find in
which several intending passengers announced their conception of the qualifications of a dog-owner, fought my way back to where
g out of the station that I loo
so i
s between the seats and the f
in my seat w
u see it last
the other things. I put it in the hall last night
was left on the pl
said Jonah. "I loo
e sort of thing that'd take a thief's fancy. By Jove!" I cried suddenly
ab?" sai
hat put me out of the way. With the girls trying to get a carriage, the rest was easy. Gad I Why doesn't one
est part of two hours to think it over. I should write out a synopsis o
I took to the crate of turkeys, with a signed photograph of Nobby
yed," said Jonah, unf
my arm, and I laughe
t the cigars are not what he's accustomed to, but I'd like to mee
sent for the station-master and handed that gentleman two short descriptions-one of the dispatc
en 'ave got out 'ere." I made as if to leave the compartment. "Ah, he'd be gone by now,
itement and good-will. Her obvious disappointment at Berry's abse
s, more relevant to your visit, which I ought to know. Hullo! Is he going to honour us?" she added, pointing to Nobby, who, with tail erect and eyes look
please,"
can all get In the limousine, an
and disclosed the grave construction placed upon it by the actual recipient. When I told her
ed. "Perhaps there'll be
been at Red Abbey for a quarter of an hour, a telegram
d receive necessary attention at your expense and risk pending instructions regarding their removal which should be com
for the dispatch of
n of which should reach you by road before midnight and remainder by 2 a.m. aaa as already slated am unable at this juncture to cancel my visit
a hilario
ng the main staircase, entering and erupting from any bedroom of which the door stood open, and descending the staircase-all of this recurring-with the least possible delay. The Irish terrier proved an apt pupil, and, so far as can be judged, if Diana's maid had not encountered them in the midst of their seventh descent, and been upset, and of vexation ni
g and extremely expensive. Her persistent refusal to "stand" on anything less than twenty-one commanded an admiration which, but for my presence, would have been universa
d her coun
mily, "but never of robbing Charlie to pay Chaplin. Wh
me such cards," was
rned up a "natural" w
a roar o
o cope with it. A little more, and I shall ship for Australia before the
rtion to your luc
ok my
ing I'm going to help your wife to decorate the church. I
ed from my cheekbone on to the hearth, and was
that chocolates fall without the limit of his digestive powers. The
received with i
t I should admit Nobby into the open air. And so it came about that I stood patient and shivering, in a fur coat a
below a boisterous melody, that rose and fell in league-long phrases, far as the ear could follow. Nature was in a royal mood. Her Cap of Maintenance was out, Pomp was abroad, the trump of Circumstance was sounding. A frown of dignity
stled, and he came running, the very embodiment of health and spirits. Marvelling at a dog's recup
me one desired to speak with me upon the telephone. Heavily I made my way to the lobby and put the receiver
or of Police, spe
Pigskin, seventeen inches by ten,
ht," I said
.... I don't know whether you could manage this afternoon, sir, but if you could.... Y
proceed. So long as I
an't 'ardly
aned.
Red Abbey
e, sir. Wouldn't take
hat I can d
ss Doiran, who had arrived that morning in her own two-
hour later we
y to the story of my lo
I must say. I'd never have dare
f. All the same, I don't want to charge the chap. He deserves six mont
pretty smart capture, and the police'll be fed
see any sense in telling the police at Flail, b
hand Miss Doiran caressed No
anted a Sealyh
e for nothing at three
have y
odd
s a handsome night. Very cold, thoug
ry! You never knew
. It's extraordinary how little women can
glanced at
ois leather," she said. "I do
. When you stepped into the car
d she stared through the win
s toast," she
an the toast I had for
ld get up
you I was up and
oesn't
ink of me all warm in bed, and see whether it counts. By th
addressed ou
en like th
plai
the few nice people left who aren't anybody: with just a word or two about their manners, failings, virtues, if
l it," said
w now, or must I wait
Doiran, "that you must w
igh
as," said I, "I
ectrical. Exasperated to madness by the gratuitous insult, he made the most violent attempts to leave the car, only pausing the better
t to his collar with one hand, while with the
ry t
ed before
onal," I said weakly. "He c
oiran
you just do
knees. Surprised, he stopped barking and looked me full in the eyes.
you're righ
we drove up to Fla
and stepped out of the car
quick as I c
ght
rrassment I described the ridiculous contents. Th
u haven't wasted much tim
r in charge
' the kind as gets through by sheer nerve. Now, nine out o' ten'd 'ave bin through this 'ere case last night and throwed it away. But 'e's not that sort. Walks through the town this afternoon with it under 'is arm, as bold as brass." A
a good turn, I assented readily. It wa
oliceman into a
d, six men were
y you know?" repea
the left, with a seraphic l
ellbound. Then I began
terrier slipped from under my arm and ran to where he stood. "Good dog. But I mustn't play with you till the gentleman in blue boxcloth says s
the bewild
He must have borrowed the case without my knowledge. For go
lick the suspect's face settled the matter. Gruffly he
ss in accordance with my hazy description of the "thief," and it was my dispatch-case. Courtesies were exchanged, I signed a receipt for my property, and Be
was introducing h
law in one," I said. "
is hat and put a
d dazedly. "When I entered
in Daphne's bedroom, Berry
it would have occurred to those diseased fungi which you call your min
efore I had covered a hundred yards the lines branched? I was still praying for the soul of my informant, when I observed that a large blue constable, who was apparently lining the st
I said. 'I ca
cake at my expense. Not to be outdone in hospitality, he made a counter-proposal, which, after some hesitation, I thought it discreet to accept. Our progress through the s
fact that the beastly case was still locked was naturally in my favour. In fact, everything in the garden was lovely, and I was
envelope,' and I started to feel in my pockets. There was only one p
suspicious. If I showed it them, they'd regard me as a first-class crook, and very big g
be detained pending inquiries. I was then immured in a poisonous-looking dungeon, which, to judge from its atmosphe
you have before you th
pend your time
rang the b-b-bell for the b-b-boots. In due course they appeared full of the feet of a gigantic warder. I told him that I had not ordered vermin and should prefer a fire, and asked if they'd mind if I didn't dress for dinner. I added that I thought flowers always improved a cell, and
aid I. "You shouldn't have borrowe
Berry, "where one
ourth dances, both of which had been given me by M
but she took no notice. "I think you know him. He was released from prison this afternoon
gan to work
on," I said. "Di
oiran
came natural. I believe you were responsible for the telegrams. I congratulat
ry nice of her. I'm afraid it
ffend, and, after all, Major P
the first week In January. T
id Miss Doiran. "I've lost my
indiscreet to
looked rou
she said, "he was talki