of my life, but my

a figure

ction that has defined our r

very time my affection becomes too real for her, her body rejects it

ologne, my diet, my laundry detergent. Nothing worked. The only th

of hell. I love a woman who can' t stand to b

heart has been broken so many times it doe

packing my bag

se from the closet, my

e you? Are you co

that I know all too well. It' s the sound

ter, Sophia," I s

rry. I... I

t land. They just bounce off the

them before. And I k

ago. My cousin' s wedding. It was supposed to be

ne in my hand. The music was soft. People were laughing. I l

ful tonight. I' m so

mile

ce. She put a hand to her mou

hen she bolted from the table, weaving throu

n the air like a bad smell. My cousin' s

Ethan? Sophia looke

Just the heat, I thi

a quiet corner of the venue, away from the music and the laughter. I dug my thumbnail into the fleshy part of my palm

back to our table. She was standing by the garden

one person whose presence nev

relaxed, her smile genuine. The sickness was gone. She looked radiant again. The

essure in my palm becoming a dull, ste

ed dance around her condition. I learned to show my love in small, indirect ways. I' d make her favorite coffee

s. They weren' t a direct expression of t

n the phone for hours. He' d come over for dinner, and she would be relaxed, happy, normal. The mom

came on our th

otten better. We' d had a few good weeks. No

th candles, and bought a delicate silver necklace I knew she' d wanted. I

the door and h

what is a

I said, my voice so

hought this time would be different. She walked

klace. "I have s

rushed against the skin on her neck, I felt her

the clasp and stepped bac

d stop them. Three simple words.

escaped her throat, and she turned and ran, her hand clamped over

made me sick. The candlelight flickered, casting long, danc

sound from the bathroom stopped

e asleep. She thought I was. She was on the phone, he

ce thick with tears. "He tries so hard, Mark. He' s

oked o

physical thing. It hurts. It makes me sick. I k

ation of everything I had feared for three years. My love didn't ju

roke. You can' t build a life with someone when y

is anymore. And I can