ied when I

her, Ethan Co

ly in his late twenties then, alre

my guardia

iet house, a ghost in th

im, admired him, and t

kept locked tigh

irst birthd

opening, or maybe

reely at the small par

ere, loud and laughing, tryin

different

so composed,

more than I' d e

a shadow, a

sts, mostly business acquaintanc

nd him on the large stone patio ove

t, a glass of whi

arm, a typica

said, my

es, usually sharp and

is voice rough. "Yo

I whi

between us, thick

ken. It was a vulnerability

seem closer,

I asked, darin

, bitter laugh.

told a diff

my fingers br

hed, the

at my hand, the

ir cr

ll sang in my blo

en feelings s

in and ki

, he was rig

up to my hair, and

s. It was desperate, h

re. He was

that he didn't know

ew t

it. He pa

up in his

pered words I couldn't recall, and the shock

ed in silence for