funeral, Mom

te, never le

nt was heavier than ever,

tated, conf

d to

m, found her star

ed? Why did you t

d, her ey

d, slowly wrote: "Stre

and a small, chilling

mfort, or sadness. It wa

g and wrote another note: "Going to

, just occasional, brief

grief and a growing,

t shake

ths. I kept replaying

ras in the hallways and elevat

he rooftop, angled vaguely to

ard to let me see the

grainy,

I sa

n our balc

nding in the doorway to

wat

was

cream, didn'

watched

d in my gut like a s

emory of the mother who had, in