y mouth to

e clinic, about the

I started, m

oice suddenly stronger, la

thank God y

p, her hand protective

el so awful about all this. About h

e and innocen

... I couldn' t bear for people to know I was preg

good. Ve

aking herself the victim, th

er lip

rrible position, Ellie. And Ju

n, her eyes brimmin

My trauma. My fear. I should

l, delivered with

ile, broken, while painting me i

ftened further, his gaz

his hand still on

re generous. You unde

sking. He wa

my acceptance of

n settled

rguing? He wouldn' t he

said, my voice flat

a lie, a bitter

him, to erase him, solidifi

of relief, her pe

u, Ellie. You'

anaged a w

e could all have some tea?

refuse, to

e lead. The procedur

ndure her presence, her ma

nto the nearest sofa, the

mity was

keeper br

center of att

too hot. T

pecial cushion

, his concern almost co

shion. He tested t

er in low, so

ord, was a public disp

t, invisible obser

ache, a constant t

crash from

ulian' s mother had given us, teetered and

the entrance to

umped, s

high-pitched,

d something

from the falling vase

hed him

of the path of the l

nt of the impact

ng onto the floor amids

rifice, perf

ed to her side, his

, clutchin

are you okay?" she g

hink it hit my a

her eyes wide with fei

u. It was falling

exploiting it, m

"We need to get you

her up in

knocking into the small

it caught

arp pain shoot

n' t n

t even lo

on Liv, cradled in his arms

the room, shoutin

hind, injured

ears ago, curled up wit

much like the one tha

Ellie," he' d whispered,

will ever be more i

mis

the vase o

a constant, bi

in my hip

s al

ai

, I pushed myself

the clinic, from

d from his ut

to get myself

to take car

no one e

lly not