had mothers who held their hands, who smiled and laughed with them. But my mother barely lo

night, when she thought I was asleep. "If only I hadn't gotten pregnant," she'd say, her voice bitter, "my life wouldn't be li

He left before I was born, long before I ever had a chance to meet him. I used to wonder if he thought about me, if he ever felt bad about l

aid she'd brought shame to the family by getting pregnant without a husband. To them, I was proof of that shame. I was the child that sho

and we could hear our neighbors arguing or playing loud music late into the night. It was never a place that felt like home,

re at them for hours, her face tight with worry. And whenever I asked her if something was wrong, she'd snap at me, telling me to mind my own bus

en. I'd hear her talking to herself sometimes, saying things like, "If I didn't have to take care of her, I could get back on my fe

er enough to make her happy. If I tried to talk to her, she'd push me away. If I asked her to spend time with me, she'd roll h

I could hear the desperation in it. "I can't keep doing this," she said. "I don't have the money to take car

ribe. I curled up under my thin blanket, trying to block out her voice, but the words kept echoing in my head. "Use

something and there was no going back. I wanted to ask her if something was wrong, but I was too afraid of w

it d

ld me to hurry up, her voice sharp and impatient. I quickly put on my best dress-it was old and faded, but it was all I had. As we wa

ttes and cheap perfume, making me feel sick. A tall woman was waiting for us. She had a hard look in her eyes, and when she saw me,

rely glancing in my direction. The woman walked over to me, her eyes cold

ney and handed it to my mother, who took it without a second thought. My heart stopped as I

as doing. But she didn't even meet my eyes. She just took the money, turned around, and walked away

me down a dark hallway, the air thick with the smell of smoke and perfume. My heart was pounding, and I felt li

he door behind me. I sank down onto the bed, my mind spinning with fear and anger. I couldn't believe what had just happened

the years she had made me feel worthless, for abandoning me like I was nothing. But that anger quickly turned to fear as I

it meant to be powerless. I was just a girl with no o