g the intense scene between Emily and I in my living room. I can still feel the lingering warmth of her l

ted carrying on in my bedroom, not caring if I'm too inexperienced for her. A part

uite a few hours just kept me awake even more. I kept thinking back to when she was layi

ng to try and impose anything on her, and I was barely able to control my urges around her before she broke

asks me when I m

y offered to help me behind the bar today, afraid of the big speech he is probably g

ad idea. I took advantage of her confused and damaged state. Chances

already been unlocked by the solid green

s already

de, to see Emily behind the counter, serving a customer a plate of eggs

p my face calm and straight. I feel my façade falling when she turns

, " she says, coming over to give me

mth while I thrashed around in bed, battling my inner demons. I want her to know just how much contro

as every fiber in my being is screaming at me to let her in, tell her everything – I can't. I'm already starting to

lack of conversation. I don't mean to freeze up right now, I'm at a loss for words,

the morning, which is mostly coffee or whatever energy drink Parker stocks back h

here really isn't anything else. Other than a few regular customers, who come

be here, " she says, sounding a little hesitan

yet. My arm reaches out and grasps hers, halting her in her tracks.

, tightening my grip on her arm lightly,

ready to admit that. That will

She smiles, placing her hand over mine. "I have always wante

walk through to go out the exit door for a smoke. There are metal shelving units covering the left

ut of the boxes and the others just tossed everywhere. The ground is littered with cleani

ctions of the shelves; me taking the higher parts of course, and he

put stuff away or organize. I try my best this time to not brush against her, restraining mysel

ned so fast, there is no telling if they are genuine, I can't even say for sure if they are for me. I may onl

hat is telling me otherwise, trying to drive the idea that it's more than just a

s the hell

another person enough to even just trust them. It's obvious that Emily is looking for someo

isn't

harming. If any

g, to see her smile every day, sleep with her warmth wrapped aro

nightmares would cease, and I would fina

g that sounds, I know

, and I probably never will. I have tried to fight the darkness every day since

I will become whe

me differently? I don't even know if I will be able to look at myself,

behind me, and I turn to see Emily w

retty hard over there, " she say

was thinking if she would still look at me, the way she is looking at me now – with such tendern

comforting warmth. I pull her against my chest, resting her head in the crook of my neck so I can lea

distracted her hand rubbing light circles in my back, re

top of her head, the gesture feeling so natural

e, but gasps lightly when she seems

ntly dance around in my head, poking and prodding at my so

. Instead, she grips my arm tighter, her eyes fla

strong, she stumbles backwards into the shelf. Not caring about the items that fall from the shelf, scattering themselve

king it rather uncomfortable up front. Emily feels it, and lets out a ligh

n it, making my intentions known. She doesn't break the kiss, or push my hands away,

reaks the kiss and pushes me away l

I can't, " she m

er, "I'm sorry, I didn't

ust me, you don't know how bad I want you too. It

ooks back up at me. "Tris

ady. I decide that if I do want to try and trust her,

" I say

and closes her eyes, letting out a deep b

quickly lie, for some reason

ous look. "So, you do

21 and stil

no

eal a small truth of myself, and also possibly a

1 and still a virgin. Because I

*

room, for him to start laughing at me

ares back at me, watchi

is no way this man, this

I might run out of this room, "

he bar, blocking his escape, but curse w

, I wasn't sure if you were makin

ould I make fun of you now,

so don't really believe you. I mean– look at you. How in the worl

ts out a musical laugh. I realize it's the first time I've hea

his man is doing things to me

t know I am being truthful, I could never make fun of you." He reaches out and

sp onto his arm to keep my knees from

illing to wait for me?" I a

if you're willing to work with me, I want to be with you when you're ready. I don't want to rush t

not because I still feel anything towards Everett. This has made me realize that I lost those feelings for E

ing, I need to tell you that now. I can promise I will never betray you the way Everett has, but right

f my mouth, from the small box I tucked it into at the

d I can almost see the walls he keeps up qui

ut my hands to his cheeks, trying to banish the shadow

ee his eyes soften, and a

sses the inside of my right palm, hi

not ready to

for service. Tristan smiles softly then pulls away, going back to cleaning. I tr

't help but mull over what he said, and what he could p

ve fallen for him, just the short sp

and Everett over for dinner tonight. I hesitate telling her that we a

her. They are currently business partners, with Everett's family owning a very successful line o

onted with what his son did to the

try, and although he is revered as a great man both personally and professionally, he has mad

my past, of a time when it was just my mother and I, Ava White. At the time, my name was Em

through it, at the tender age of 19. She has told me the story of how my father didn't know

and finally be in my life. I still don't know what happened, for them to have fallen out in the first place. My father said it wasn't

ve seen many friends and their parents even, have their marriages and relationships fall apart, sometimes

lasting love, and that everyone is worthy of it. You just might ha

ze now I was expecting too much perfection out of my relationship. There is no such thing as per

be perfect. It ju

e thinks of himself, and why? Can he not see how happy I am just looking a

Even my father has rarely given me a loo

umps at most. How did I not realize these comparisons before? Is it becaus

ady to be with him despite my heartbreak over Everett. I feel like he

m is all

ind me. My heart beats fast at how close he

asping my upper arm lightly. I instantly calm under the

a text from my mother. She wants

be here soon, " he says, his fingers touching my cheek. I instinctively

ve, and I didn't do much this morning to prepare myself, other than throw my hair in a

mile, but it doesn

scaped my ponytail, sending my heart

k?" he asks suddenly. "I won't get

t I can't stop the stupid grin that spreads a

and it to him to put his number in, and he does the same. I try not to laugh at the retr

ves me a kiss on the forehead, the

k my phone and I nod, already knowing I wasn't going to plan anything anyway. I will hav

her has already moved in, making it feel like summer

rk flash in my head, making me want the end of school to come all

is ever going to let me in, tell me what he is hid

ching him by surprise. I love the way his brown eyes light up

k inside and throw myself at him, telling him I don't want to w

on't want to admit I need to heal from Everett, because I don't wan

or think of all the sweet nothings he used to whisper to me, making

breathing a sigh of relief when I see Summer isn't there. She knows I went to the club today to help Tristan,

bathroom, I'm about the close the door when my phone rings from my bed. I jump on in, hop

r judgement, I s

u moved

ne up to toss it further on the bed,

nk he is. Do you eve

tt be pulling with this kind of information? He's not that creative to come up with an elaborat

I'm done playing

a text ri

vor and look up

mentioned Tristan's full name. Thinking about it now, he had trie

reveal his full name? Who is Tristan Burke, and what is so

for his bullshit? There was one only way possible way to get some a

g up Tristan's name, I send a text to Parker asking if he'

orking, like I should have expected. There is no chance of me getting an

him the ques

Tristan

l he replies, when I'

t want t