erbert

Avery's cowardice. It came from th

before my flight to San Francisco, my uni

ial account

lowers, mostly classmates

umber jumped to three hu

oded th

campus conf

l? That is s

behavior. She'll take

I opened the campu

nty minutes earlier by an anonymous account with

ship Rat: A Four-Year Unrequited-L

re attached. All of them were

n using since freshman year, the one my grand

of her diagnosis, the loneliness of sitting alone in my dorm,

me one night, the way he held my hand under his coat in the movie theater

tom drawer of Avery's nightstand, because he had

eneath the pos

Avery Pittman would ma

smiled at me today. I forgot how hun

sick every time he mad

comments, along with a row of laughing emojis

as dry as cr

alked straight to the student center, where th

was playing, but the instant the first students saw me, t

f the lounge, Tyler stood surroun

igh above his head, reading aloud

ght. He told me I didn't have to carry the whole

around him roar

e pool table, someone had w

CHARITY CASE. DELUSI

t back,

ud, but it cut cle

g beery teeth in a

thor herself. Joey, you her

at him and reach

arm above his hea

meone's foot hooked my

nees taking the impact, my palm

upted in deaf

oey," a girl on t

ver your own

door ba

lounge, face flushed, c

me on t

words on th

diary in Ty

doing?!" Avery shouted, shovin

e diary out of

id you g

a red plastic cup in her hand, calm a

ghtstand, Avery," Sher

as so funny. She writes about you like you're some tragic prince. I only sent it to a gr

his hands, then at Sherry,

er tone dropping sudden

oke. Unless... there's something in th

the lounge sw

ting to see which

connected. All of them were holding their breath, waiting to see whether Avery P

stood

nd passed

e, replaced by the very coward

me, his eyes flat,

," Avery said, raising his vo

ar. I only let her do my laundry and clean my place b

rately curled his mouth in

hetic. Stop haras

ed laughter went t

ined. Their golden bo

ictor and stepped forw

n't shake

and walked with h

very had tossed onto the po

e cover. Not hard enough to bruise, b

beggar living off other people's charity. Now take

at Tyle

earing pain in my kn

looked down at the faded black cover, the cover my gr

with both hands and tor

, tore up four years of late-night hope, tore up the four years of my youth that

em and hurled them straight

is clothes, across the pool

went utte

s laughin

lked out of the

dn't

shed a si

ee tries. I stood in the corridor with my back against the wall and breathed

tment, pulled the suitcase down from the

key on the kitchen counter.

your lease runs throug

deposit,

ver comes asking about

's social accounts, blocked every public account

rt and boarded the red-eye to San Francisco. As t