Inked In Scars: My Ex-Husband's Regret

time my husband had brought

room, wagering on whether I would throw a

ush came down s

red and asked for the

challenged her out lo

garette ash and a

a signature

ing. It was ten years

and I had finally giv

gn the divorce papers

pte

twenty-seventh time my husband had

risply. He had his arm locked tight around Alondra Clemons's waist, and trailing behind him

o fell dead sile

erdrawing on a canvas. Her brush stopped d

trait on the canvas. Bristles loaded with a mix of ochre and titanium white g

y enough for the whole room to miss it. "Five hundred buck

inside two minutes. She endured the first twenty-six w

wn one last clean stroke, scraped the excess paint off

gray suit that cost three months of this studio's rent, his hair

ng was going, and he made no mention of the fou

int-stained canvas apron and hanging it over

s only twenty-two, swimming in one of Derek's oversized cashmer

ings run through th

contempt-the same imperiousness he had demanded of me with abso

ith a

cket, casually peeled off a few crisp hundred-do

d the client. "Co

the unfriendly faces blocking the door, scram

ed forward. "Derek, this i

our lunch break,

re, grabbed her bag, slammed the door,

er drafting chair. She swung her bare legs and surveyed the brick wal

uld paint these red brick walls white and put up a few

e way he used to look at me when we were twenty, sitting on the floor

ant, sweetheart

e want to pai

gned with her name. For the emerging-artis

hat s

emporary-art look that just screams expensive. Oh-and

ed their necks, waiting for me to scream,

resh piece of linen onto a frame, and squeezed titaniu

er here," I

truck a pose she clearly thought was seductive. I blocked in the underdrawing with a charcoal stick, my hand steady

d brush, loaded it, and

p her lipstick in the mirror three times and fidgeted impatiently through poses, whi

later, the por

f Alondra's collarbone handled just right, the folds of the cashmere carrying an air of languid

," I

eaned in for a look, the corners of h

t the canvas to the re

MA PS1 Emerging Artist Award, an invitation to a Chelsea group show, Sotheby's spring auction sales rec

y drained from

Her eyes lingered on the awards for a long time-from Whitney's bronze-framed c

he turned around, her vo

," I

nd for the first time something real flashed through those

ease stirred in me. Why was

silent for a

d brush lying beside the palette, wiped the b

d away the words I had signed in th

oke by stroke, she wrote h

re doing?" My voice cra

ed her head at me, the picture of entitlem

inted

innocent eyes, her tone saccharine. "The emerging s

hing detonat

nights away-I had endured them. Bringing his mistress into my studio-endured.

t to steal was not money, no

to steal m

by stroke. The only thing in this wo

ack." I heard my o

k and pouted. "Derek-s

oked down at the scraped-off and rewr

t a signature. You've painted so many pieces-what's the harm in letting Alondra have

ead around and

ok-not from fear, but from

g a scene about?" D

"I put up with you bringing her here, driving off my clients, making me paint

t's one painting to you? You live in my house, drive my car, spend m

with the money from my first painting sale. Back then you were fetching coffee at your father's firm. Not one award on that wall was won by De

anged glances, stunned by the

canvas, her face flushi

rieked. "It's one lousy pai

d that wall of awards? Do you know titanium white from ultramarine? Do you know how many steps it takes to take a p

back a step u

lunged forward and seized my w

h. "What is wrong with you? Making

was twenty, had gently held mine on the floor of our fi

held me like I

y finger, I prie

-not the anger-suppressing calm of before, but a

k fr

lked to the supply cabinet, lifted the freshly finished canvas off its fra

ondra and shoved the p

e put your signature on my work and send it to any exhibition,

he roll, too frigh

n the wall hook-still stained with ochre an

shoulder bag and walked

thing behind me. I

's icy rain. Down the concrete steps I went, headin

thugs in dark jackets shot out from around the c

ered into a dense spiderweb. The other man kick

ing?!" I shouted

Alondra clinging to his arm, his fri

flicking his dead cigarette butt onto my hood. "Since you insist

shoulder, unzipped it, dug out the car

, her eyes landing on the bla

her coat is so pretty. That's the limited-edition Burberry from las

oat, then fixed me wi

Clarissa," D

reamed at him, demanded to know how he could humiliate his wife in br

s left inside me was