I Remember the Wedding That Killed Me

te won

y seconds. My dress is soaked through at the hem, mud and something darker climbing up the w

ars on the way out. "

ne wrong. Julian in his father's old wedding suit, the one that was supposed to be mine to unbutton tonight. An

I watch her see m

against the bars. "Let me i

h the glass, but I know the shape of her mouth well

t

ng screams that us

my feet. The iron bars scrape my knuckles as I lose my grip. I'm screaming Julian's name and my own name and God's name, all o

e glass is Celeste, watching. N

il

then there's only white, and

ing like I've

ut two years ago because they matched nothing and I liked that they matched nothing. My hands come up in front of my face on instinct,

so hard I can fe

al

t four seconds, because right now all I understand is the animal fact of breathing, of my r

rstand the

o Julian's family. The one with the water stain on the ceiling shaped like a rabbi

nd, screen dark. My hand is

te is

that makes sense. They don't. Three months. The phone is telling me it is three months before my wedding day. Th

, cracked down the middle,

o one, to the rabbit-shaped

before I've decided what o

hasn't decided yet whether she wants my life or just wants me gone from it. "You're going

n my arms li

from now, watching me die, saying two words I will never stop hea

n there? You've got, like, a look on your fa

y works exactly the way it's supposed to, which means whatever just happened to me happened som

n the

she does every morning, one of them already made exactly how I like it because she's known how I like my coffe

e and her whol

lf hear in months - actual worry, the kind that used to be real before it stopped bei

time. Long enough that he

ing behind glass while t

er. Three months of not-yet stretch out in front of me like a r

lding out to me, and I don't spill a drop, and m

been a hell

ave no

and whether Julian's mother is going to have opinions about the seating chart again. I watch her walk away from me

three

exactly the way I like it,