via

all I can thin

ation staff. The founder's own administrator pouring me tea. Somebody up here has noticed the lamp and the passage numbers, and i

, "Thank you. I'm honored that he would take an interest. I'm

h says, very gently. "T

st

y that I'd rather you not build a house on the wrong foundation. You aren't be

rent ass

group, out of this building, and out of California." She sets her

klesbury, 1663. I think of the original building, all those old photographs of brick and chimneys and horse drawn carts ou

I ask. My voice comes out

ts that settle. "I'm sorry

e a very stran

mall, dry smile. "I won't insul

e folder acro

ith a plain black clip and stamped across the front with a single word in red: RESTRICTED

h says. "I wouldn't sign anything I hadn't re

it up a

a, looking out the window at the courtyard far below, never once checking a watch or cleari

olleagues, not to friends, not to family, not to a spouse or a priest or a therapist, for the duration of my employment and for the rest of my life. If anyone asks where I work, I'm to say that I'm "in rese

the duration of the first year. My communications will be monitored. I ma

ection is a

d it

ited to physical, neurological, and endocrine harm." It says I may be required to undergo "regular and invasive medical monitoring." It says that in certain circumstances I may be asked to participate in "procedures of experimental nature." It says that I understand an

n the page like

ook

patient, unhurried attention I felt on the sky bridge, and I understand all at once

ped breathin

aven

use to show it." Her voice is soft. "It's all right to be afraid

I ask. "The pa

N

it l

"I assure you, a good many people have look

t as a breath. "That's not

n the table. "Miss Hart, I'm going to tell you a few things, and

no

who wrote it are not being dramatic. I won't tell you otherwise, because

ka

turn to Dr. Nair's group, and your record will remain exactly as clean as it

ka

s me more than anything she's said. "He doesn't offer this lightly. He has not offered it to anyone

omething strang

h says. "Not a committee

s the table and the silver teapot has gone gold. Far b

sk. I think of a man I have never seen, whose voice I know better than some of my relatives', whose face is a smear of light, who built an entire em

ally asked me to be usef

," I

a perfectly steady word, as if I've been holding it r

th does

carefully. "You haven'

kno

tell you everything on the first day. It isn't fair to ask you to say yes to som

t need

y n

nd go back to the fourth floor and the archive room and the quiet corner at midnight, knowing I could have said yes and didn't. It doesn't f

said he chose

hing in her face shifts, softens, goes quietly bright, like a lamp being tu

she s