/1/127143/coverbig.jpg?v=dfed6c89cf7294f62cf9b2aaf17e8638)
and that's how I know I'm alive. You don't c
se some animal part of me understands that stopping means dying again, and onc
creaming into open air that tastes lik
ie there, chest heaving, staring up
e comes out wrong. Too h
ook down at them, they're shaking wrong - smaller knuckles, pal
stop, because that'
he sound on hands and knees like something newborn. When I r
e. Eyes the wrong color - not gray, but somet
say to the water.
the torn edge of a dress I don't remember putting on. Everything is unfami
o hear it, just to make sure it still bel
and I let myself shake, because there's no one here to see it, no one to judge
y, watching in silence while I was marched out to die. I remember Cassian standing at the front
nt it stopped. The
nd cold water and s
breath fogs in front
be for someone who just tore herself out of the ground. It's steady. Too steady. Like this body
h myself against the trunk of a birch tree,
t mine, and settles somewhere deep in my chest. I wrap my arms around myself and force my legs
fill the silence with something other than my own ragged breat
ut loud makes it feel less like a nightmare and more l
otten. I dig through it with fingers that won't stop trembling and find a torn strip of paper
Voss. G
mouth. It doesn't feel like mine. It doesn't feel like anythi
ried with the body they executed. Whoever put me in the ground we
e made sure I
s stands up at once. I spin, crouched low before I even deci
hrough the trees, just the s
under my ribs I'm almost afraid to find - a low, familiar
isper. "Are
all. Not gone. Just quiet. Just as lost as I am, maybe, trying
half a sob. "Good. Good, at leas
then - Grimwood Territory, the wrong side of two different borders f
t it still does, after everything, after he stood there and
elf, wiping mud from my cheek with the ba
s name in my head - that same old pull, stitched somewhere under
tever truth I had left - they're going to answer for it. And there's onl
where it
ter around my shoulders, and start walking east, toward Rook Terri
fall apart if I'm not gentle with it. It's the only proof I have that this
o guess - that whoever wanted me gone isn't finished, a
re like the woman I used to be before all of this. "Whatever you did to
ear it - a low growl, close, too close,
m standing in unclaimed woods wearing a stranger's body with no pack, no n
comes agai
don't know ye

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