ne's

not s

g and listen to the pack house settle around me, the old wood contracting in the cold, the distant sound

es no

ld manage. Coffee at five-thirty. Work that needed doing. Mara's voice in the corridor. The mountains outside the window that never change and never ask anything of me. I built it pie

wanted you close and the bond that was supposed to be dead wo

lat against my st

ming from very far away. But tonight it is louder. Tonight it is loud enough that I c

he feels

something else. The morning schedule. The supply order I need to confirm with the kitchens. Whether R

bout Cade

g to ask t

t, stopped letting myself picture a future that looked different from this one. A visiting Alpha sitting beside me on a bench and leaving

ow if I wan

ow if I wan

en has his intentions. And I am lying in the dark at midnight being arranged around by people who be

at five

nt pretending s

the window go from black to the particular dark blue that comes just before the grey. I have always liked this

gh my tea when the

ows I have had a bad night, I do not know how she always k

not

stops when he sees me and something in his expression does the thing it keeps do

up early,

are

self and sets it back on the stove and I watch him do it and say nothing because

he silence between us is not uncomfortable, which itself is uncomforta

ays, when the

ow,"

at me. "Y

d to ask formally." I wrap both hands arou

e does not look pleased about it either. He looks like a man recalibrating, decid

says. "Before I made any formal req

at him.

"Not Bowen's. Not Lucian's. Yours. And I am not interested in arranging

ttle w

operly, leaning back against the counter with his mug in both han

g you to decide anything today. I am asking whether you would be willing to let m

es something

down at

h. The space he left.

rk and my hand pressed flat against my chest and

n my

es us both standing there in the early morning half-light with our tea and our unfini

the cold kitchen and no

his jaw is tight and his eyes are doing the t

hear something. Befor