a's

ache so sharp I swear someone is sq

quinting at the faint glow of Boston's

recall was staring at the ceiling and replaying yeste

overw

ave to pret

s... somet

Why say it like that?

my headach

plash cold water on my face, and p

and in hand, a tiny voice whispers, "W

hought down

ot goin

and locking the door behind me, I

wedding. Ignore your confusi

ugh the glass doors, I

eyeing, and tapping each other's shoulder

omach

t let it be

meets me halfway across the lobby, wil

I whisper, b

Just... inhale somethi

't answer m

ay. Like, frostbite-level mood. Something happened this morning. No one knows w

ike he's plotting world

day he's doi

voice. "Just be careful. If he snaps,

se kic

Exactly w

own mode while I'm

the warnin

my shoulder a

it before

oice is sharp eno

ntly. "Yes, M

e. But his eyes... His eyes dart over my face for a split second,

e," he

ut instead of launching into instructions, he paus

ers are tight like he is c

ng okay?" I

N

n't ela

speaking again w

e Zurich branch. Delays. Miscommunication. And of cou

but beneath it... he sounds

help?

need you to reorganize these reports. Prioritize everythi

up sh

The question escapes

flickers there... something raw,

or

ates. "P

e other

than he should. "Nothi

ven though i

isper. "I'll

but his voice sto

towards hi

oftens, just bar

ut from him, it fee

o speak, and le

rwork on my tab

amie follows and asks, "Did he bu

just...

e or brooding edge

ween volcanic and em

mal." Haze

ice. "You okay, tho

e. Just

ddi

Ryan." I exhal

d. "Are you and R

tastes metalli

judgment thing again. "Well

kno

. And not to Hazel or anyone. Because the m

e afte

afé across the street, sti

one b

y

ou later. Cr

t send it. Instead, I sta

ked about th

asked ab

'm sleeping or eatin

he stop n

nsent message when someone

exander Sterling sta

leaves

e," I mana

, surprisingly. More like someone w

ute, we s

in a way that makes my ches

not h

pped bre

up. "How do

it matter-of-factly, like observing my nu

ad water,"

"Water is

awa

en

bossing m

and eat one bite. J

r?" he

lit

eave. He just sits there,

u here?" I

like you needed so

hould. I look down at my soup, blin

e to... do tha

also know that pretending you're f

oat ti

ees me. And that scare

eath. "I'm just st

His certainty is

as he rarely us

" he says quietly. "And no

ar, relief, and confusion, mixin

hone buzzes. He checks th

," he murmurs

ponse, he stands and walks away

n hand, heart hammer

because of anything he said, bu

day ends, I'm alread

?`, hours ago. I told him it was

t answer

s always. I drop my bag on the couch, kic

ce is suf

ees. I don't cry, exactly, but something inside

tinctively, hoping it's Ryan, even thou

's not

Alexa

DER ST

rget the e

detached reminder. But somehow... so

lite `Got it` b

nsent message and whisper

happeni

have the

between Ryan and Alexander, between who I am and who I'm pretendin

rom tearing op