a's

ells like something that can fix most things, and the expression of a woman who has been

sive furniture and the art on the walls I have never chosen, and

traight

my face into her shoulder and let out a breath that feels lik

y into her shoulder. "Like he

, sweet

. She came here this

goes still on my

someone who is not remotely surprised and is ex

and look a

new,"

ted. For

ng is a

you called me today." She touches

ok a

e." I let it out. "He married me with a six-month exit plan, Mom

her eyes for ex

h her move through my kitchen with the calm authority of a woman who has na

make

cross

e every

l her ev

orting conversations I have never had, concerns I have never raised, words

ens without in

, she is quie

ernight bag, and sets three pregnan

re at

om

armacies," she says.

not eve

mm

irst one and go

r and stand the

and I am twenty-six years old and I have just left a man who never really wanted me and

n the

ructions I do n

the t

set the test face down on the counter an

y sec

fe sat still for nine

ink about the guest room phone and heels on my hardwood floor and my mother sitting at the kitchen counter wai

on my phon

ick up the

y seconds because my ha

reach

n it

li

k at

ing ambiguous about it, nothing that could be misread as anything else, just two lines qui

t back down o

the sec

e thing

do not count this time because counting has stopped helpin

mer go

n it

li

time. No amb

ext to the

the thi

e thing

and I do not wait ninety seconds because ninety seconds is a courtesy for people

appears in abo

positive pregnancy tests lined up

e of

on I have been avoiding a

hand on m

w what I exp

er of confirmation from the in

l my

my st

is

that is not quite fear and not quite joy and not quite anything I have a

bathroom for

l three tests and

kitchen counter exac

up when

ees m

es my

tests on the cou

oks at

s at

say anything

round the counter, and sits

hat are

e he

and solid and still has no opinions about me, and my mother sits cross-leg

," sh

l you've g

figure it out. Okay means you are not

ok a

telling h

is q

d was feeding him a version of me that didn't exist, and he never once came to me to ask if any of it was real." I press both palms flat agains

t me for a

ely." She covers my hand with hers. "But you are not

oor and I feel something loosen in my

to lea

wh

against the cabinet. "Somewhere that doe

squeezes

find some

not saying very much, while the casserole finishes in the ove

in any apartment in fourteen mont

nst the cabinet and think abo

a language I speak at a level my high school Frenc

nobody kno

become someone